There are many standards regularly used toconvey a grantor’s intent with regard todistributions to beneficiaries. The mostcommonly used standard is the health,education, maintenance and support (“HEMS”)standard, as it is expressly referenced in InternalRevenue Code Section 2041(b)(1)(A).1 ThisHEMS standard is commonly referred to as an“ascertainable standard” as it allows a trusteewith parameters in which to make decisionsregarding what distributions are appropriate fora particular trust beneficiary. In using thisstandard, a grantor can be assured that therewill be a balance between the prevention ofdistributions for extravagant purposes andprovision for the beneficiary’s needs.
The standard of “health” is generally thought toinclude the following: Emergency medical treatment; Psychiatric treatment; Psychological treatment; Routine health care examinations; Dental; Eye care; Cosmetic surgery; Lasik surgery; Health, Dental, or Vision Insurance; Unconventional medical treatment; Home health care; Gym memberships; Spa memberships; Golf Club memberships; and Extended vacations to relieve tension and stress.3
The standard of “education” is thought toinclude the following: Grammar, secondary and high school tuition; Graduate school; Post-graduate school; Medical school, law school, or other professional school; Support of the beneficiary while in school; Support of beneficiary while not in school (between semesters); Studies for the student that makes a career out of learning; Technical school training; Career training; College in Europe as part of a study abroad program4; and Related expenses such as supporting the beneficiary not only during the semester, but, also between semesters.5
The terms “support” and “maintenance” areconsidered synonymous.7 In addition, theRestatement (Third) of Trusts takes severalnotable positions with regard to what can fairlybe interpreted to be permissible distributionspursuant to a “support and maintenance”standard. The list provided within theRestatement (Third) is specifically broken downinto three categories: (1) what is generallydeemed to be included, (2) what might beincluded, and (3) what expressly is not included.Generally included: Regular mortgage payments; Property taxes; Suitable health insurance or care; Existing programs of life and property insurance; Continuation of accustomed patterns of vacation; Continuation of family gifting; and Continuation of charitable gifting.Might be included: Reasonable additional comforts or luxuries; and Special vacations of a type the beneficiary had never taken before.Not included: Payments unrelated to support which merely contribute to the beneficiaries contentment or happiness; Distributions to enlarge the beneficiaries personal estate; and Distributions to enable the beneficiary to make extraordinary gifts.8
最近听了几个别人讲的真事，当然应该不是所有孩子都这样，但这几个真事里，不管父母是大富大贵，还是普通小康，抑或普通家庭省吃俭用留下来的遗产，都被孩子辈很可惜的挥霍了，或者大手大脚很快花光了，并没有把财富有理智合理的使用，远远辜负了上一辈的期望和苦心。想起一句古话，大意是，子女如果不如我，给他们留钱也没有用；子女如果比我强，又何需我给他们留钱。
我忽然感觉我的孩子生活在这种物质丰富的年代，可能以后也会像老美那样随意花掉我留给他们的遗产，也许会让他们没有自立的能力，甚至也许等发现无法自立的时候已经晚到无法弥补。
我忽然感觉在是否给孩子留遗产，以及留多少，怎样留这方面非常的迷茫。感觉如果不需要留很多的话，我甚至都失去了努力赚钱的动力，感觉就像现在这样就够花了那么劳累干什么。大家怎么看给孩子留钱这个问题的？
我跟队友都是败家的那种。
哈哈。很难理解lz这种不知道怎么花钱的苦恼
真不明白楼主是想说什么，你是老中吗？咱老中不都是为了娃吗！咱们也不用像富豪那样绞尽脑汁避税，一个trust，分时间给摆
美国都有成熟的应对方法：成立信托，规定只有健康、教育之类的生活必需的花费才能给子女。美国是个非常成熟的社会，你需要多去了解。
http://www.disinherit-irs.com/~disinher/files/The%20HEMS%20Distribution%20Standard%207-21-15.pdf
There are many standards regularly used toconvey a grantor’s intent with regard todistributions to beneficiaries. The mostcommonly used standard is the health,education, maintenance and support (“HEMS”)standard, as it is expressly referenced in InternalRevenue Code Section 2041(b)(1)(A).1 ThisHEMS standard is commonly referred to as an“ascertainable standard” as it allows a trusteewith parameters in which to make decisionsregarding what distributions are appropriate fora particular trust beneficiary. In using thisstandard, a grantor can be assured that therewill be a balance between the prevention ofdistributions for extravagant purposes andprovision for the beneficiary’s needs.
The standard of “health” is generally thought toinclude the following: Emergency medical treatment; Psychiatric treatment; Psychological treatment; Routine health care examinations; Dental; Eye care; Cosmetic surgery; Lasik surgery; Health, Dental, or Vision Insurance; Unconventional medical treatment; Home health care; Gym memberships; Spa memberships; Golf Club memberships; and Extended vacations to relieve tension and stress.3
The standard of “education” is thought toinclude the following: Grammar, secondary and high school tuition; Graduate school; Post-graduate school; Medical school, law school, or other professional school; Support of the beneficiary while in school; Support of beneficiary while not in school (between semesters); Studies for the student that makes a career out of learning; Technical school training; Career training; College in Europe as part of a study abroad program4; and Related expenses such as supporting the beneficiary not only during the semester, but, also between semesters.5
The terms “support” and “maintenance” areconsidered synonymous.7 In addition, theRestatement (Third) of Trusts takes severalnotable positions with regard to what can fairlybe interpreted to be permissible distributionspursuant to a “support and maintenance”standard. The list provided within theRestatement (Third) is specifically broken downinto three categories: (1) what is generallydeemed to be included, (2) what might beincluded, and (3) what expressly is not included.Generally included: Regular mortgage payments; Property taxes; Suitable health insurance or care; Existing programs of life and property insurance; Continuation of accustomed patterns of vacation; Continuation of family gifting; and Continuation of charitable gifting.Might be included: Reasonable additional comforts or luxuries; and Special vacations of a type the beneficiary had never taken before.Not included: Payments unrelated to support which merely contribute to the beneficiaries contentment or happiness; Distributions to enlarge the beneficiaries personal estate; and Distributions to enable the beneficiary to make extraordinary gifts.8
https://twitter.com/LindaTangUSA/status/1179469294591066112
现在预期寿命都那么长，不要拖累儿女就很好了。
排，希望我能无病无痛适时死去
这话说的非常对 身后钱留着没意思 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
我也想留，我也不败家，就是没有哇
之后靠safe withdrawal rate过活
死了一半一半分给两个孩子
孩子成年之前，我会以我自己认为合理有价值的方式花在孩子身上。孩子成年之后，能留就留点，不留也无所谓。 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
你觉得如果真的是很多财产，那是上个私校就能用完的吗？
建议楼主现在开始改变生活习惯，喜欢就买，不是有用才买。至少一年给自己买一个喜欢的大件，在自己身上做一些投资。慢慢就会花钱了
天啊！你一定得把你成功的教育方式传授出来！
这么说吧，华人上好多人说如果自己娘家给力，自己就不上班当主妇了，或者每天买买买什么的。
你看看，这就是一般普通人的境界。 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
还保证子子孙孙
想的太美了吧，几代以后你有没有子孙还另说呢
---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
白送的东西都不被珍惜的，钱也一样。我和LG就发现，我们买的东西，孩子都不珍惜，给他们买个耳机（比较高级一点的），几个月就坏了。然后就不给买新的。让他们自己想办法存钱买。自己存钱买（我们还是贴了点钱），花了好几个月，没有耳机，用不了电脑（没有喇叭），熬了几个月，终于有了新耳机，这下珍惜了，2年了还没坏呢。
小娃开始就这样，给娃买的stickers, 他从来不在乎
学校里奖励他的，他一天都舍不得拿下来，自豪地show给我们看
同意，准备把孩子们的大学学费都包了，让他们没有负担成人走上社会，毕竟我们读书也都是父母负担的没贷款，孩子们结婚买房就不管了送送礼就行了。
膜拜一下！多大年纪呀，你们确实有规划给孩子留多少的问题！
我有个同事，一次跟我说，带孩子去游乐场（公司家庭日活动），孩子看别人吃，也馋冰淇淋，她劝孩子等回家去吃超市买了回家吃，要便宜很多，孩子很听话，虽然不开心，也没闹，到了回家的时候，也累了，没再提冰淇淋，她就没买。他家素来不买零食的，之前一次家庭活动，滑雪，我跟他家住一个单元，她女儿看到我们带去的零食饮料，眼睛都直了，不停吃，我问过她同意就给了，她可能看女儿吃相也有点不好意思，跟我们说，从来不买零食，女儿没吃过这些，好奇。。。。
那次她说省了一个冰淇淋，我忍不住说，能差多少，她很严肃地说，积少成多，将来还不是都给女儿（事实上到没有，她家后来碰到点别的事情，不过跟主题无关了），我心里说，这一个冰淇淋，算将来翻成1000块，不晓得女儿多拿到1000块，能不能抵小时候一个冰淇淋的快乐。
除了大学，“买车，买房，结婚，生娃”，这些都没必要管了吧，过年过节给个两百红包可以了吧，再多就惯坏了
上了大学CS，还能去FLAG暑期实习，小孩子很牛，那确实不用再支援了。
热，lz说自己勤劳节约，那给孩子的花销应该也节俭？真的有很多结余的话与其留作遗产，不如从孩子小的时候时候就富养，花钱上好私立，倾力培养孩子喜欢又有天赋的爱好，带孩子满世界旅游开阔眼界，努力培养他们将来自立和享受生活的能力
窃以为教会子女生存能力比留遗产更重要。
我觉得这个就是处于惯性和本能的吝啬，所谓“严肃地说，积少成多，将来还不是都给女儿” 这都是她的屁股坐在了不能花钱这件事上之后找的理由。
按照现在人活80，死掉的时候孩子都50了，攒到那个时候没必要。
还没看到自己有孩子不留遗产的，除非是几亿几十亿那种，即使那种也没说不给孩子留个基金的，跟孩子没啥感情另说了
我一向是秉着勤劳朴素原则赚钱跟生活，虽然工作有些年头了，生活上还是偏节俭。我总想着如果以后能给子女留点，或者帮他们买房什么的也很好，尽自己能力能帮一把的时候就帮一把，不要让他们走我自己那么辛苦的老路。
最近听了几个别人讲的真事，当然应该不是所有孩子都这样，但这几个真事里，不管父母是大富大贵，还是普通小康，抑或普通家庭省吃俭用留下来的遗产，都被孩子辈很可惜的挥霍了，或者大手大脚很快花光了，并没有把财富有理智合理的使用，远远辜负了上一辈的期望和苦心。想起一句古话，大意是，子女如果不如我，给他们留钱也没有用；子女如果比我强，又何需我给他们留钱。
我忽然感觉我的孩子生活在这种物质丰富的年代，可能以后也会像老美那样随意花掉我留给他们的遗产，也许会让他们没有自立的能力，甚至也许等发现无法自立的时候已经晚到无法弥补。
我忽然感觉在是否给孩子留遗产，以及留多少，怎样留这方面非常的迷茫。感觉如果不需要留很多的话，我甚至都失去了努力赚钱的动力，感觉就像现在这样就够花了那么劳累干什么。大家怎么看给孩子留钱这个问题的？
那他小孩怎么办
也不想活着的时候扣扣搜搜，将来留一大笔遗产，但是等我们老了，时不时在小辈身上花点钱应该挺温馨的
这次在迪士尼就看到有老两口带了一大群孙子辈去玩，挺拉风的
还有嘛，就是觉得那句古话，什么比我好的不在乎那点钱，不如我的没必要给，纯粹就是为自己不给小辈留钱找个正大光明的借口
的却没错
热，lz说自己勤劳节约，那给孩子的花销应该也节俭？真的有很多结余的话与其留作遗产，不如从孩子小的时候时候就富养，花钱上好私立，倾力培养孩子喜欢又有天赋的爱好，带孩子满世界旅游开阔眼界，努力培养他们将来自立和享受生活的能力
40-45
活着的时候好好花钱享受，死后捐出去。
我倒是觉得眼前的快乐最重要，特别是在自己能力范围内就能满足的快乐。
那你时间没剩很多啦 再过个几年就差不多了
呵呵是啊 这样子的家长 大部分最后省下来的钱都是花在自己上面吧
这倒是实话，年轻有赚钱能力的时候就不舍得给孩子花钱的，老了更不会给，说留给孩子都是自欺欺人的借口，其实都是留给自己养老花光，说不定还得儿女补贴。
问题就是无法定义最好教育
最后留钱也会立个trust.限定钱的用途吧。
先把自己的晚年生活打理妥当，然后有多余的钱再考虑子女。对子女也是救急不救穷，不能养成吭老族。
子孙不如我，留钱做什么，愚而多财，益增其过
我爸教育我是需要的就买，不用看价格，不需要的，再便宜也不买。
我妈买东西会带我去，叫我看质量，比价格。每次家里有决议都会让我参加，我也学得了他们怎么分析事情的。很多决定都会听我意见。
所以我成年以后就没花家里钱了，他们也没让我寄钱。说家里有栋别墅给我留着回去住，我说不回去住又给我首付在这买房。