7-8岁。 wow, they must be playing it rough. 还没有这么大的孩子，现在觉得这孩子是很皮啊。 这么大的孩子把别人家东西损坏，或者跳沙发什么的我肯定是要说了，其实现在觉得3，4岁的孩子已经很好管了，至少叫她不要一直吃糖，不要爬沙发，不要拿人家易碎的东西啥的是可以听话了。两岁的时候真是挺难管的。
wow, they must be playing it rough. 还没有这么大的孩子，现在觉得这孩子是很皮啊。 这么大的孩子把别人家东西损坏，或者跳沙发什么的我肯定是要说了，其实现在觉得3，4岁的孩子已经很好管了，至少叫她不要一直吃糖，不要爬沙发，不要拿人家易碎的东西啥的是可以听话了。两岁的时候真是挺难管的。
2-3岁我见过的都特别幸运的非常乖啊。都超级可爱的。
我们见过2个刚刚3岁的女娃娃，gosh，两个孩子都是特别特别懂礼貌，乖的不得了，非常聪明。又不娇气，又懂事，自己坐下来吃东西，就大口大口的吃了。然后起来带小朋友玩，很有主人的样子。如果做了什么事情不太合适，父母都是循循善诱的讲道理，态度非常好，完全不是在说教或者训斥。当然，孩子很高兴的听了，然后父母再给positive reinforcement。Kids like these are really VERY VERY adorable!! 当然，这些爹妈也是超级considerate and smart的爹妈。
“Friends with unruly kids Leave a comment Related Gripes Random Gripe Gripes by email
Is it just me, or are there any others out there sick and tired of having their friend's unruly children inflicted on them? I am in my early 40's, and my husband and I have decided not to have children. I have seven or eight close friends with anything up to four children each. Whenever we arrange a get together, I am astounded at how they always want to come to me , as they seem to see it as a cheap day out for their offspring.
Now, coming to me wouldn't be a problem normally - we like entertaining and like children, and we also feel privileged to be involved in our friend's children's lives. However, ALL of our friends seem to view a day out at ours as "time out" for the adults, with no need to discipline their children in our home, which is treated as a large play pen.
Some examples; I recently helped a friend by assessing her son's leg (I am a physio), while her other three children threw all the cushions off the sofas, used them as climbing frames, ran around slamming all the doors and throwing themselves around too close to our TV for my liking. Were they disciplined? Only in the limpest, weakest, most ineffective way. Another friend let her toddler crawl into our open fireplace and start throwing briquettes around. Apart from being concerned about our carpet... there was no thought for the child' safety.
I knew only too well that carnage would follow
Some friends arranged a get together for twelve of us + children, and asked me sheepishly if we could have it at ours - because we have more space. I said no, as I knew only too well that carnage would follow. Some time later I watched with dismay as same group of children wrecked the house of the friend's who eventually hosted it.
Am I expecting too much? I don't invite myself anywhere, and I don't wreck homes any more now than I did as a child. My parents brought me up to have manners and respect others and their property. My friends are intelligent, responsible members of society, yet I dread their children coming due to lack of discipline. How about some manners people, rather than giving in to children all the time. Also, how about respecting my decision to not have children, and next time, invite me to yours for a get together so I can see your children IN YOUR HOME, and not have to cater for them and clear up after watching them wreck my house every time. ”
“Friends with unruly kids Leave a comment Related Gripes Random Gripe Gripes by email
Is it just me, or are there any others out there sick and tired of having their friend's unruly children inflicted on them? I am in my early 40's, and my husband and I have decided not to have children. I have seven or eight close friends with anything up to four children each. Whenever we arrange a get together, I am astounded at how they always want to come to me , as they seem to see it as a cheap day out for their offspring.
Now, coming to me wouldn't be a problem normally - we like entertaining and like children, and we also feel privileged to be involved in our friend's children's lives. However, ALL of our friends seem to view a day out at ours as "time out" for the adults, with no need to discipline their children in our home, which is treated as a large play pen.
Some examples; I recently helped a friend by assessing her son's leg (I am a physio), while her other three children threw all the cushions off the sofas, used them as climbing frames, ran around slamming all the doors and throwing themselves around too close to our TV for my liking. Were they disciplined? Only in the limpest, weakest, most ineffective way. Another friend let her toddler crawl into our open fireplace and start throwing briquettes around. Apart from being concerned about our carpet... there was no thought for the child' safety.
I knew only too well that carnage would follow
Some friends arranged a get together for twelve of us + children, and asked me sheepishly if we could have it at ours - because we have more space. I said no, as I knew only too well that carnage would follow. Some time later I watched with dismay as same group of children wrecked the house of the friend's who eventually hosted it.
Am I expecting too much? I don't invite myself anywhere, and I don't wreck homes any more now than I did as a child. My parents brought me up to have manners and respect others and their property. My friends are intelligent, responsible members of society, yet I dread their children coming due to lack of discipline. How about some manners people, rather than giving in to children all the time. Also, how about respecting my decision to not have children, and next time, invite me to yours for a get together so I can see your children IN YOUR HOME, and not have to cater for them and clear up after watching them wreck my house every time. ”
It is up to the parent's though. Kid is parent’s mirror. Good parent has good kid. It is more important to have good manner than learning piano/swim/etc.
I do picnic with those families has bad-behavior kids in the park. If your kids not behave themselves, you are not allowed to stay inside of my house.
Once is enough.
Here are some of the ideas that Ron Clark says are essential for kids to learn: ? Make eye contact ? Respect other; ideas and opinions ? Do not save seats ? Say thank you within three seconds of receiving something ? When you win, do not brag; when you lose, do not show anger ? Do your homework each and every night without fail ? Do not talk in a movie theater ? Be the best person you can be ? Always be honest ? If you are asked a question in conversation, ask a question in return ? Perform random acts of kindness ? Learn the names of all the teachers in the school and greet them ? If someone bumps into you, even if it was not your fault , say excuse me ? Stand up for what you believe in
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climbing from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times..... [此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:06:26编辑过]
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climb from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times.....
Yes, I learned my lesson. I am going to put the slipcover on my sofa. I was concerning people would think I am BU LI MAO if I just cover the furniture for the party.... For my own sake, I don't care anymore.
I still think the parents should watch for their kids running up and down on the stairs. As the host, we can't take the responsibility if their kids have accidents on the stairs. I just can't understand some parents. Yes, attending parties means relaxing, socializing; however, you are parents now! [此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:20:20编辑过]
Yes, I learned my lesson. I am going to put the slipcover on my sofa. But, I still think the parents should watch for their kids running up and down on the stairs. As the host, we can't take the responsibility if their kids have accidents on the stairs. I just can't understand some parents. Yes, attending parties means relaxing, socializing; however, you are parents now!
Re, I like to go to party with kids, so that my son can play with other kids, and not stick to me. Party is for fun, both for kids and adults, if you don't like kids, just don't invite those families.
Re, I like to go to party with kids, so that my son can play with other kids, and not stick to me. Party is for fun, both for kids and adults, if you don't like kids, just don't invite those families.
Liking kids and liking kids with good manners are two different concepts. I honestly don't like kids screaming and runing everywhere in the house; I also don't like kids eating and drinking on the carpet or on the sofa. It doesn't matter it's my kid or others'. I just simply dislike those behaviors. I don't want my kids playing with them because it brings bad influnce.
Just out of curiosity, would you be ok if the host tells your children not to do certain things since you are hands off in a party?
I wish I could be like you, but my kids are small and they do pick up things from the floor and try to eat them. Also, I don't like kids in my private space, master bed, bathroom. Small kids should not be running stairs unsupervised and older kids should not access other people's private space. Would you feel comfortable if some kids discover your personal stuff, i.e. tampon?
I wish I could be like you, but my kids are small and they do pick up things from the floor and try to eat them. Also, I don't like kids in my private space, master bed, bathroom. Small kids should not be running stairs unsupervised and older kids should not access other people's private space. Would you feel comfortable if some kids discover your personal stuff, i.e. tampon?
I have found (from personal experience) that by and large people are tremendously sympathetic to parents who have a children with a disability who take the time to explain the situation. It's the total lack of good old-fashioned manners that drives people nuts when they see a child misbehaving to the point of causing damage. An explanation and most people would have been thinking, "Those poor parents. There but for the grace of God go I."
1) 没家教 2) The parents do 家教, but not effective. The parents should think about why they fail. It's not easy to raise a child, that's why there are so many frustrating parents and they are so many books.
I was at a restaurant with a friend and his daughter once. She continuously kept standing up in our booth and looking over the sides at customers seated next to us. While cute at first the stares from the customers near us became increasingly hostile. My friend repeatedly told her to sit down, and she would comply for a couple of minutes at a time and then stand up again. I finally became fed up with the situation and leaned across the table while her back was to us. I called her name and when she turned we were basically face to face. This startled her and while in the startle I told her to sit her little rump down and to not move again. This seemed to do the trick as she did not move again. LOL Her father was gracious, however for the life of me I could not understand why this idea had not crossed his thoughts. It seemed natural enough to me as it nixed the situation in the bud.
Does no one bring books/coloring books with them anymore? Keep the little guys occupied. Our kids were told, "We're going out to a restaurant. We expect good manners. Now, pick out something you would really like to read/color in. Yes, we will let you have a soda (huge treat) but you have to remember that you say please and thank you to the waitress."
Anyone who stood up in the booth and looked at the people behind us got the Death Stare. From Mom and Dad. (This was to be avoided at all costs.)They also knew that meant the soda was going bye-bye and good luck on watching TV that night.
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climbing from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times..... [此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:06:26编辑过] 有一次去一个朋友家 PARTY. 另一个朋友带了孩子, 是个2,3岁的男孩, 也是上窜下跳, 穿着鞋在主人家的皮沙发上踩来踩去, 主人面色不好, 不过也没说什么.
有娃和没娃的，不仅仅在于娃闹不闹，聊天话题也很重要。有娃的，不论娃多大，说不到几句就光说孩子的事了，小的就说吃饭睡觉拉臭臭，大点就是哪家幼儿园好几岁开始学才艺是学钢琴还是古筝还是小提琴长号黑管萨克斯，再大些就是学习自觉不自觉，然后就是SAT大学等等等等，有娃的还特别喜欢劝没娃的赶快生。没娃的并且不想生娃的，对这些话题可以忍，但是没兴趣不参与。我朋友里，只有2个妈妈一般不会聊娃，我就喜欢和她们聊天。
还好还好。估计我比你老。朋友圈子也比你的老。。。。等娃大些以后，有的爹妈还是有一定精力做些自己喜欢的事情的。
现实里面超级喜欢劝人生娃的，其实不是很多。大部分也就是自己刚刚生娃的时候喜欢这样，因为母性超级的爆发了嘛，而且即使那时候，新妈妈们也更喜欢说自己的娃，没太多精力环顾左右。
多数人，其实懒得管旁人闲事，念一两句发现你不爱听，一般也就不说了。
我只见过一个大姐，自己娃已经很大了，还超级喜欢aggressive劝生的。知道以后不找她玩就是了。
有娃和没娃的，不仅仅在于娃闹不闹，聊天话题也很重要。有娃的，不论娃多大，说不到几句就光说孩子的事了，小的就说吃饭睡觉拉臭臭，大点就是哪家幼儿园好几岁开始学才艺是学钢琴还是古筝还是小提琴长号黑管萨克斯，再大些就是学习自觉不自觉，然后就是SAT大学等等等等，有娃的还特别喜欢劝没娃的赶快生。没娃的并且不想生娃的，对这些话题可以忍，但是没兴趣不参与。我朋友里，只有2个妈妈一般不会聊娃，我就喜欢和她们聊天。
哈哈
还好还好。估计我比你老。朋友圈子也比你的老。。。。等娃大些以后，有的爹妈还是有一定精力做些自己喜欢的事情的。
现实里面超级喜欢劝人生娃的，其实不是很多。大部分也就是自己刚刚生娃的时候喜欢这样，因为母性超级的爆发了嘛，而且即使那时候，新妈妈们也更喜欢说自己的娃，没太多精力环顾左右。
多数人，其实懒得管旁人闲事，念一两句发现你不爱听，一般也就不说了。
我只见过一个大姐，自己娃已经很大了，还超级喜欢aggressive劝生的。知道以后不找她玩就是了。
如果我和你聊天，就聊房子装修，聊蛋糕recipe，聊种菜种花，啥的，肯定很enjoy,前提是娃娃有她爸爸看着的时候。：）
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 10:33:57编辑过]
你们家两个太sweet了。
我家的在人家家里玩的时候算安分，到点要走人了，开始爆发撒泼不肯回家。让主人家大吃一惊，这么乖的孩子原来也有无赖的时候。
我们家是到点自己到门口找鞋子，然后回来拉住老妈，走人。 如果妈妈忙，人家两个就两个门神，神情严肃。
如果我和你聊天，就聊房子装修，聊蛋糕recipe，啥的，肯定很enjoy,前提是娃娃有她爸爸看着的时候。：）
nod nod 呀~~~~显然，当了爹妈也不是24X7都只有娃的，尤其娃有点大了以后，父母还是可以有工夫做些为自己的事情的。
我们家是到点自己到门口找鞋子，然后回来拉住老妈，走人。 如果妈妈忙，人家两个就两个门神，神情严肃。
太可爱了
你厉害！具体例子有没有？“专找小朋友不能去的地方，小朋友不方便的时间。 ”
比如pub啊。
比如晚上啊。
估计人来疯， 只能在家里立规矩了。
到了别人家是不能管的太严厉了，或者动手教育。
那个朋友估计也跟她妈妈有管教上的冲突，如果有很大的矛盾了就不方便在人前再插手了。
你朋友估计也有自己的具体情况, 碰到朋友的小孩不符合自己的要求的时候,就多点宽容吧, don't judge their parenting skill.
赞同
比如pub啊。
比如晚上啊。
学习了。~~~
其实我还挺喜欢在家请客的。最最喜欢是来3-5家，从中午玩到半夜。吃吃喝喝，聊天打牌什么的。从厨房挪移到餐厅，从餐厅挪移到family room，从family room挪移回厨房。。。。。当然一般这都是没娃的了。也不特意做很多吃的，一家带点拿手的，吃百家饭，很happy啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~~~~
我家有给小朋友看电影的专门地方，不是HD但是投影大小可以唬到小朋友们，还有若干动画片。另外还有几个游戏在地下室里。稍微大点的小孩可以自己玩。
但是小于10岁的，这些东西也没办法持续保持他们的注意。。。。。或者孩子妈妈不希望他们一直看电影，希望他们出来跑跑。
在家里饶着房间跑圈，东撞西撞，我是不喜欢，但是也不好说啥。
夏天一般给拿出n种lawn game，但是小朋友一定要祸害我的porch swing。记得某天外面晴空万里，最高83度，多舒服啊，俺还以为正好可以在草地上跑跑，扔扔飞盘，打打小球，省得憋闷，结果一个妈妈嫌太热，一定要娃们不出去玩。于是呆家里，娃也闷，我也提心吊胆。也不好说啥。
有时候请客也未必是至亲，有个跟熟人联络下的意思在里面。当然，这个做法，我现在学习到是错误的。跟熟人联络应该吃工作午餐。不过在郊区工作的和在城里工作的想凑一起吃午饭还真的非常难。。。。我自己都没时间啊。
所以吧所以，各玩各的，是正解。
学习了。~~~
其实我还挺喜欢在家请客的。最最喜欢是来3-5家，从中午玩到半夜。吃吃喝喝，聊天打牌什么的。从厨房挪移到餐厅，从餐厅挪移到family room，从family room挪移回厨房。。。。。当然一般这都是没娃的了。也不特意做很多吃的，一家带点拿手的，吃百家饭，很happy啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~~~~
我家有给小朋友看电影的专门地方，不是HD但是投影大小可以唬到小朋友们，还有若干动画片。另外还有几个游戏在地下室里。稍微大点的小孩可以自己玩。
但是小于10岁的，这些东西也没办法持续保持他们的注意。。。。。或者孩子妈妈不希望他们一直看电影，希望他们出来跑跑。
在家里饶着房间跑圈，东撞西撞，我是不喜欢，但是也不好说啥。
夏天一般给拿出n种lawn game，但是小朋友一定要祸害我的porch swing。记得某天外面晴空万里，最高83度，多舒服啊，俺还以为正好可以在草地上跑跑，扔扔飞盘，打打小球，省得憋闷，结果一个妈妈嫌太热，一定要娃们不出去玩。于是呆家里，娃也闷，我也提心吊胆。也不好说啥。
有时候请客也未必是至亲，有个跟熟人联络下的意思在里面。当然，这个做法，我现在学习到是错误的。跟熟人联络应该吃工作午餐。不过在郊区工作的和在城里工作的想凑一起吃午饭还真的非常难。。。。我自己都没时间啊。
所以吧所以，各玩各的，是正解。
patpat.
porch swing这种东西么，如果你有孩子就不会有这种侥幸心理了，哈哈。
patpat.
porch swing这种东西么，如果你有孩子就不会有这种侥幸心理了，哈哈。
唉，头一回不懂啊。金属，就放地上那种，没有办法用螺丝固定的。东西图便宜买的，也不太重，2人可以搬动。结果俩娃上去，30秒之内几乎给晃倒了，还给水平转了个90度。大人都在旁边，还没人来得及说啥呢。要是倒下来砸到人就完蛋了。结果是俺辛苦刷的deck地面几条深深划痕。当然没有把这俩娃砸了，没倒到墙上（一砸一个坑的破烂外墙，出坑就进水的。。。。）已经万幸。俺们当时又费劲扒拉把这个东西抬的远远的扔到草上去了。等娃走了才又搬回来。
唉，头一回不懂啊。金属，就放地上那种，没有办法用螺丝固定的。东西图便宜买的，也不太重，2人可以搬动。结果俩娃上去，30秒之内几乎给晃倒了，还给水平转了个90度。大人都在旁边，还没人来得及说啥呢。要是倒下来砸到人就完蛋了。结果是俺辛苦刷的deck地面几条深深划痕。当然没有把这俩娃砸了，没倒到墙上（一砸一个坑的破烂外墙，出坑就进水的。。。。）已经万幸。俺们当时又费劲扒拉把这个东西抬的远远的扔到草上去了。等娃走了才又搬回来。
啊，我以为是吊在porch里的那种呢，反正对于小孩子来说，看到这个就相当于Playground了，他们想不通还有大人专用的秋千啊。话说我娃迷恋秋千的时候，我开始觉得playground贵，还考虑过弄个porch swing凑合呢。
啊，我以为是吊在porch里的那种呢，反正对于小孩子来说，看到这个就相当于Playground了，他们想不通还有大人专用的秋千啊。话说我娃迷恋秋千的时候，我开始觉得playground贵，还考虑过弄个porch swing凑合呢。
其实我是想说，这个swing事件一发生，有一个妈妈立刻非常严厉的制止了孩子，我们就觉得印象非常好。另外一个妈妈当没看见。。。。。。
其实我是想说，这个swing事件一发生，有一个妈妈立刻非常严厉的制止了孩子，我们就觉得印象非常好。另外一个妈妈当没看见。。。。。。
两三岁的孩子和这个放在一起，好比把老鼠和奶酪放在一起，叫看孩子的，或是看着老鼠的人十分痛苦啊。当然如果是10来岁的大孩子是应该说.
有娃和没娃的，不仅仅在于娃闹不闹，聊天话题也很重要。有娃的，不论娃多大，说不到几句就光说孩子的事了，小的就说吃饭睡觉拉臭臭，大点就是哪家幼儿园好几岁开始学才艺是学钢琴还是古筝还是小提琴长号黑管萨克斯，再大些就是学习自觉不自觉，然后就是SAT大学等等等等，有娃的还特别喜欢劝没娃的赶快生。没娃的并且不想生娃的，对这些话题可以忍，但是没兴趣不参与。我朋友里，只有2个妈妈一般不会聊娃，我就喜欢和她们聊天。
so far我也能算一个，吼吼。
还有一个是把recliner按倒了在椅子的背上，上下弹跳，若干次把沙发掀翻。
这两个妈妈的反应是当没看见。哪怕我们提了，她们的说法是孩子皮实不要紧。
我家桌子沙发再不值钱，难道你们自己娃受伤也不要紧么？？？？？
另外一次一个娃爬了一下，爹妈立刻严肃制止。然后娃改爬ottaman 就没安全问题了，我们就都松了一口气。
说的这些娃，全都是5-7岁。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:09:59编辑过]
两三岁的孩子和这个放在一起，好比把老鼠和奶酪放在一起，叫看孩子的，或是看着老鼠的人十分痛苦啊。当然如果是10来岁的大孩子是应该说.
7-8岁。
其实我是想说，这个swing事件一发生，有一个妈妈立刻非常严厉的制止了孩子，我们就觉得印象非常好。另外一个妈妈当没看见。。。。。。
赞不歪楼
赞不歪楼
小插曲，当时另外那个妈妈为什么当没看见呢，因为她太忙了，忙着痛斥我为什么不生娃。
7-8岁。
wow, they must be playing it rough.
还没有这么大的孩子，现在觉得这孩子是很皮啊。
这么大的孩子把别人家东西损坏，或者跳沙发什么的我肯定是要说了，其实现在觉得3，4岁的孩子已经很好管了，至少叫她不要一直吃糖，不要爬沙发，不要拿人家易碎的东西啥的是可以听话了。两岁的时候真是挺难管的。
小插曲，当时另外那个妈妈为什么当没看见呢，因为她太忙了，忙着痛斥我为什么不生娃。
赞不歪楼
同赞。同时很多妈妈说有孩子的就只和有孩子来往，没孩子的和没孩子的，于是有mm担心年纪大了，周边的朋友都结婚生子了，结果就剩自己了。
我有孩子了，可我有一样的vice versa的焦虑，就怕那些依然单身或dink的朋友们不和我联系了，因为所谓的priority不一样了，所以我一直注意不能以儿子为中心，一定要有自己的生活。
I honestly don't think it's a good idea to seperate friends by with kids or without kids.
wow, they must be playing it rough.
还没有这么大的孩子，现在觉得这孩子是很皮啊。
这么大的孩子把别人家东西损坏，或者跳沙发什么的我肯定是要说了，其实现在觉得3，4岁的孩子已经很好管了，至少叫她不要一直吃糖，不要爬沙发，不要拿人家易碎的东西啥的是可以听话了。两岁的时候真是挺难管的。
2-3岁我见过的都特别幸运的非常乖啊。都超级可爱的。
我们见过2个刚刚3岁的女娃娃，gosh，两个孩子都是特别特别懂礼貌，乖的不得了，非常聪明。又不娇气，又懂事，自己坐下来吃东西，就大口大口的吃了。然后起来带小朋友玩，很有主人的样子。如果做了什么事情不太合适，父母都是循循善诱的讲道理，态度非常好，完全不是在说教或者训斥。当然，孩子很高兴的听了，然后父母再给positive reinforcement。Kids like these are really VERY VERY adorable!!
当然，这些爹妈也是超级considerate and smart的爹妈。
同赞。同时很多妈妈说有孩子的就只和有孩子来往，没孩子的和没孩子的，于是有mm担心年纪大了，周边的朋友都结婚生子了，结果就剩自己了。
我有孩子了，可我有一样的vice versa的焦虑，就怕那些依然单身或dink的朋友们不和我联系了，因为所谓的priority不一样了，所以我一直注意不能以儿子为中心，一定要有自己的生活。
I honestly don't think it's a good idea to seperate friends by with kids or without kids.
没错。大多数以前是朋友的仍然有很多共同话题
I hope I can have both after having kids.
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:25:48编辑过]
我觉得这种不管教父母有两个类型，有的父母觉得没必要管，因为调皮捣蛋干坏事是小孩天性，所以看着小孩在外面出乖献丑他们不以为然，还觉得自己孩子很活泼，很可爱，别人也应该一样的喜欢，所以笑眯眯的看着。另一种父母是觉得管不了，觉得小孩出去之后就管不住了，又不能打，又不好意思当着外人的面骂，那就只好随他去，次数多了，家长也淡漠了。
但是我也见过很好家教的孩子，父母对小孩的态度很鲜明，什么该做，什么不该做，都说的很清楚。这些东西都是靠平时立规矩，不是一次就能养成的。家长也不用大喊大叫才约束得住小孩，就是平时无数细节积累起来，要不怎么叫“家教”呢。
有的孩子天生性情就好，别把家教想象得太神奇了
可是我们情况是生了娃的老找我们玩，就因为我们俩太nice老是主动做nanny。最近朋友还问我们想不想两家一起hawaii vacation, 我。。。
算了不唠叨了。。。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 10:01:10编辑过]
哈哈哈哈。我以前单身的时候，最尴尬的就是周围一圈妈妈，集合在一起讨论喂奶的事儿，怎么胸喂方便，怎么挤，出不来怎么办，怎么嘬，讨论的特别起劲儿。
哈哈哈哈。我以前单身的时候，最尴尬的就是周围一圈妈妈，集合在一起讨论喂奶的事儿，怎么胸喂方便，怎么挤，出不来怎么办，怎么嘬，讨论的特别起劲儿。
哈哈，我想起来第一次听到侧切切开下面，我。。。。
“Friends with unruly kids
Leave a comment
Related Gripes
Random Gripe
Gripes by email
Is it just me, or are there any others out there sick and tired of having
their friend's unruly children inflicted on them? I am in my early 40's,
and my husband and I have decided not to have children. I have seven or
eight close friends with anything up to four children each. Whenever we
arrange a get together, I am astounded at how they always want to come to me
, as they seem to see it as a cheap day out for their offspring.
Now, coming to me wouldn't be a problem normally - we like entertaining and
like children, and we also feel privileged to be involved in our friend's
children's lives. However, ALL of our friends seem to view a day out at
ours as "time out" for the adults, with no need to discipline their children
in our home, which is treated as a large play pen.
Some examples; I recently helped a friend by assessing her son's leg (I am a
physio), while her other three children threw all the cushions off the
sofas, used them as climbing frames, ran around slamming all the doors and
throwing themselves around too close to our TV for my liking. Were they
disciplined? Only in the limpest, weakest, most ineffective way. Another
friend let her toddler crawl into our open fireplace and start throwing
briquettes around. Apart from being concerned about our carpet... there was
no thought for the child' safety.
I knew only too well that carnage would follow
Some friends arranged a get together for twelve of us + children, and asked
me sheepishly if we could have it at ours - because we have more space. I
said no, as I knew only too well that carnage would follow. Some time later
I watched with dismay as same group of children wrecked the house of the
friend's who eventually hosted it.
Am I expecting too much? I don't invite myself anywhere, and I don't wreck
homes any more now than I did as a child. My parents brought me up to have
manners and respect others and their property. My friends are intelligent,
responsible members of society, yet I dread their children coming due to
lack of discipline. How about some manners people, rather than giving in to
children all the time. Also, how about respecting my decision to not have
children, and next time, invite me to yours for a get together so I can see
your children IN YOUR HOME, and not have to cater for them and clear up
after watching them wreck my house every time.
”
见过午饭时间讲排泄和换diaper的不？
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:53:28编辑过]
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:53:28编辑过]
这个难免吧，带出来的小娃，自然呼唤了就呼唤了啊。。。。我可以肯定我家客人在我家给娃换过diaper。但是人家找了个僻静的地方换的，不特意要看的话应该看不到。
工作午饭的时候听描述小人儿**正常不正常，什么颜色什么consistency就。。。。。。。。。。。
mit 的帖子扯到老中老外上去了。。。。打的一塌糊涂。不过在mit看见这个：
“Friends with unruly kids
Leave a comment
Related Gripes
Random Gripe
Gripes by email
Is it just me, or are there any others out there sick and tired of having
their friend's unruly children inflicted on them? I am in my early 40's,
and my husband and I have decided not to have children. I have seven or
eight close friends with anything up to four children each. Whenever we
arrange a get together, I am astounded at how they always want to come to me
, as they seem to see it as a cheap day out for their offspring.
Now, coming to me wouldn't be a problem normally - we like entertaining and
like children, and we also feel privileged to be involved in our friend's
children's lives. However, ALL of our friends seem to view a day out at
ours as "time out" for the adults, with no need to discipline their children
in our home, which is treated as a large play pen.
Some examples; I recently helped a friend by assessing her son's leg (I am a
physio), while her other three children threw all the cushions off the
sofas, used them as climbing frames, ran around slamming all the doors and
throwing themselves around too close to our TV for my liking. Were they
disciplined? Only in the limpest, weakest, most ineffective way. Another
friend let her toddler crawl into our open fireplace and start throwing
briquettes around. Apart from being concerned about our carpet... there was
no thought for the child' safety.
I knew only too well that carnage would follow
Some friends arranged a get together for twelve of us + children, and asked
me sheepishly if we could have it at ours - because we have more space. I
said no, as I knew only too well that carnage would follow. Some time later
I watched with dismay as same group of children wrecked the house of the
friend's who eventually hosted it.
Am I expecting too much? I don't invite myself anywhere, and I don't wreck
homes any more now than I did as a child. My parents brought me up to have
manners and respect others and their property. My friends are intelligent,
responsible members of society, yet I dread their children coming due to
lack of discipline. How about some manners people, rather than giving in to
children all the time. Also, how about respecting my decision to not have
children, and next time, invite me to yours for a get together so I can see
your children IN YOUR HOME, and not have to cater for them and clear up
after watching them wreck my house every time.
”
哈哈，太多共鸣啦，unfortunately...
这就是所谓的“人来疯”吧
小孩不听话很多时候就是大人教的不对。
很多家长还找理由：他年纪还小，不懂这些。
瓦靠，不懂不就是让你做家长来教的嘛.....教了你孩子还不懂，那就是自家孩子智商有问题。
这个太绝对了。估计mm还没有孩子，要不然就是有很温顺的孩子。strong willed的孩子，有时候确实很难教育。
很多parenting书里也都讲了，有时即便你把所有方法都用了，你很努力做好家长，也得不到效果。
而且有时候我觉得小孩乖不乖，大人教不教，其实是看人下菜碟的。同事的两个小孩，来我们家玩，疯得要死要活，沙发上跳上跳下，我还对猪头说，这俩小孩也太猛了吧。没过几周，大老板家开派对，一样是这两个小孩，乖得不行，妈妈一直在旁边陪着，可注意了，就怕把人家家搞乱了。。。看来这根本不是教不好，是人家不愿意教好而已。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 12:06:38编辑过]
小孩在餐馆到处跑的话题。
http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/1026315-children-public-places.html
见过午饭时间讲排泄和换diaper的不？
恩，我经常遇到这种情况。也有在别人吃饭的时候，就在旁边换diaper的。大家还都笑眯眯的。
这个难免吧，带出来的小娃，自然呼唤了就呼唤了啊。。。。我可以肯定我家客人在我家给娃换过diaper。但是人家找了个僻静的地方换的，不特意要看的话应该看不到。
工作午饭的时候听描述小人儿**正常不正常，什么颜色什么consistency就。。。。。。。。。。。
所以说有孩子的还是和有孩子的在一起好。
一个我还没孩子的时候的事情，就是朋友们一起出去吃饭，中间一个朋友带着自己一岁左右的孩子吧，坐highchair，吃babyfood,完了妈妈带着走走，挺乖的。但是大家还吃饭的时候，这个孩子poo poo了，可能有点便秘，还是很明显的，就是在poopoo，我们大家也都很understanding，没有谁表现反感啊，什么的，小孩子么，屎尿就这样。完了妈妈带去洗手间换diaper,中间一个大孩子的妈妈，很自然就站起来说我陪你去吧，你一个人不好弄。
我后来有了自己的孩子，真的能appreciate这时候的帮忙，有孩子的妈妈很能体谅别的妈妈的。
不过不知道别人怎么回的，似乎开骂了。
所以说有孩子的还是和有孩子的在一起好。
一个我还没孩子的时候的事情，就是朋友们一起出去吃饭，中间一个朋友带着自己一岁左右的孩子吧，坐highchair，吃babyfood,完了妈妈带着走走，挺乖的。但是大家还吃饭的时候，这个孩子poo poo了，可能有点便秘，还是很明显的，就是在poopoo，我们大家也都很understanding，没有谁表现反感啊，什么的，小孩子么，屎尿就这样。完了妈妈带去洗手间换diaper,中间一个大孩子的妈妈，很自然就站起来说我陪你去吧，你一个人不好弄。
我后来有了自己的孩子，真的能appreciate这时候的帮忙，有孩子的妈妈很能体谅别的妈妈的。
我不觉得小孩需要不poopoo来迎合大人。但是只有大人的工作午餐，谈排泄的颜色频率consistency真的是social norm么？
小孩在餐馆到处跑的话题。
http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/1026315-children-public-places.html
去吃韩国烤肉的时候特怕朋友家小孩跑来跑去，那个烤肉上来都是兹拉兹拉响着，碰一下太危险了。
所以说有孩子的还是和有孩子的在一起好。
一个我还没孩子的时候的事情，就是朋友们一起出去吃饭，中间一个朋友带着自己一岁左右的孩子吧，坐highchair，吃babyfood,完了妈妈带着走走，挺乖的。但是大家还吃饭的时候，这个孩子poo poo了，可能有点便秘，还是很明显的，就是在poopoo，我们大家也都很understanding，没有谁表现反感啊，什么的，小孩子么，屎尿就这样。完了妈妈带去洗手间换diaper,中间一个大孩子的妈妈，很自然就站起来说我陪你去吧，你一个人不好弄。
我后来有了自己的孩子，真的能appreciate这时候的帮忙，有孩子的妈妈很能体谅别的妈妈的。
这个其实挺可以理解的。比较难以理解的是，你在那里吃饭，她就在旁边换起来。
标 题: Re: 抱怨一下，中国小孩子manner 的问题
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Jul 13 08:57:57 2010, 美东)
It is up to the parent's though. Kid is parent’s mirror.
Good parent has good kid.
It is more important to have good manner than learning piano/swim/etc.
I do picnic with those families has bad-behavior kids in the park.
If your kids not behave themselves, you are not allowed to stay inside of my
house.
Once is enough.
Here are some of the ideas that Ron Clark says are essential for kids to
learn:
? Make eye contact
? Respect other; ideas and opinions
? Do not save seats
? Say thank you within three seconds of receiving something
? When you win, do not brag; when you lose, do not show anger
? Do your homework each and every night without fail
? Do not talk in a movie theater
? Be the best person you can be
? Always be honest
? If you are asked a question in conversation, ask a question in
return
? Perform random acts of kindness
? Learn the names of all the teachers in the school and greet them
? If someone bumps into you, even if it was not your fault , say
excuse me
? Stand up for what you believe in
--
有的孩子天生性情就好，别把家教想象得太神奇了
这个话，我觉得只有自己有了孩子才会懂的。
我以前没孩子的时候也觉得，只要孩子不乖那就是父母的问题。
这个其实挺可以理解的。比较难以理解的是，你在那里吃饭，她就在旁边换起来。
我觉得这个公共场合是要注意，但是只有自己家人的时候这个很正常，如果是Playdate（对方有差不多大的孩子）我也觉得很正常。
我说的例子，那个大孩子妈妈也是自己吃到一半去帮那个baby妈妈换poo poo diaper的。
这个话，我觉得只有自己有了孩子才会懂的。
我以前没孩子的时候也觉得，只要孩子不乖那就是父母的问题。
小孩不乖不能算大人的问题，但小孩不乖大人还没感觉没表示，那就是大人的问题了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
小孩不乖不能算大人的问题，但小孩不乖大人还没感觉没表示，那就是大人的问题了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
是。
不过要是在我家，我孩子跟别人家孩子们一起闹，我也不好管教我家孩子。如果是我，会事先事后管教，事先准备其他活动和玩具之类的，尽量避免出现control不了的情况。
想起，一次一个娃，反复爬和跳一个带玻璃的桌子，我们给吓死了。
还有一个是把recliner按倒了在椅子的背上，上下弹跳，若干次把沙发掀翻。
这两个妈妈的反应是当没看见。哪怕我们提了，她们的说法是孩子皮实不要紧。
我家桌子沙发再不值钱，难道你们自己娃受伤也不要紧么？？？？？
另外一次一个娃爬了一下，爹妈立刻严肃制止。然后娃改爬ottaman 就没安全问题了，我们就都松了一口气。
说的这些娃，全都是5-7岁。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:09:59编辑过]
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climbing from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times.....
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:06:26编辑过]
很好啊，这么大的孩子在家里就应该如此。更何况是自己家的 house， 不用考虑楼下邻居。
楼主没有当妈妈吧，所以不了解孩子的世界。
我以为看错了
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climb from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times.....
我家没值钱东西，只爬也算了，关键是我怕伤到人啊！玻璃桌子能跳的么？沙发倒过去给她娃砸一脑瓜，算谁的啊？
很好啊，这么大的孩子在家里就应该如此。更何况是自己家的 house， 不用考虑楼下邻居。
楼主没有当妈妈吧，所以不了解孩子的世界。
What? You must be kidding...
自己独立的house应该是没有楼下邻居的。
不象住apt，要考虑到楼下有没有邻居，不能让孩子在楼上发出太大动静。
餐馆跑来跑去是很危险的，一定要管这个。
我觉得请了小孩子来家里，就尽量做好防范措施，怕弄脏沙发地毯的，就搞个户外活动？ 反正期望不能太高，不能指望别的父母都是和自己一样的管教孩子。各家方式不一样么。对于那些破坏力太强的，以后别请他们到家里玩，大家一起出去玩火者去他们家就是了。
我以为看错了
为啥啊？他们自己家house,咩有楼下邻居啊。
好多有孩子的家庭就是为了让孩子在家里跑啊，跳啊，自在一点儿才买房子的。
餐馆跑来跑去是很危险的，一定要管这个。
我觉得请了小孩子来家里，就尽量做好防范措施，怕弄脏沙发地毯的，就搞个户外活动？ 反正期望不能太高，不能指望别的父母都是和自己一样的管教孩子。各家方式不一样么。对于那些破坏力太强的，以后别请他们到家里玩，大家一起出去玩火者去他们家就是了。
Yes, I learned my lesson. I am going to put the slipcover on my sofa. I was concerning people would think I am BU LI MAO if I just cover the furniture for the party.... For my own sake, I don't care anymore.
I still think the parents should watch for their kids running up and down on the stairs. As the host, we can't take the responsibility if their kids have accidents on the stairs. I just can't understand some parents. Yes, attending parties means relaxing, socializing; however, you are parents now!
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:20:20编辑过]
Yes, I learned my lesson. I am going to put the slipcover on my sofa. But, I still think the parents should watch for their kids running up and down on the stairs. As the host, we can't take the responsibility if their kids have accidents on the stairs. I just can't understand some parents. Yes, attending parties means relaxing, socializing; however, you are parents now!
学我。这样的家庭，请一次绝对没二次
没错，如果对方不喜欢娃，或者只喜欢非常非常有礼貌的娃，不妨在邀请前早点说清楚，这样有娃的家庭也好事先选择是去还是不去。
如果带娃出去，得每时每刻都盯着娃，那就没必要去参加这样的活动。太累。
Re, I like to go to party with kids, so that my son can play with other kids, and not stick to me. Party is for fun, both for kids and adults, if you don't like kids, just don't invite those families.
当然了，我assume 哪怕ruin别人的fun，自己也要have fun这话本身没错。
理论上，去party是为了have fun。当自己娃的fun变成了主人的nightmare，甚至可能伤害娃自己的安全的时候，是娃的fun重要，还是娃的安全重要呢？
当然了，我assume 哪怕ruin别人的fun，自己也要have fun这话本身没错。
party 的种类不同，有的适合小孩子，有的不适合。
小孩子应该有按年龄合适的礼貌和规矩。
但是本楼楼主的情况，明显是给4，5岁小孩子的Playdate这样的情况，孩子跑啊，叫阿，都不能说是没有礼貌。
party 的种类不同，有的适合小孩子，有的不适合。
小孩子应该有按年龄合适的礼貌和规矩。
但是本楼楼主的情况，明显是给4，5岁小孩子的Playdate这样的情况，孩子跑啊，叫阿，都不能说是没有礼貌。
早离题万里拉~~~~~~
看这里
以下是引用kittypeny在7/13/2010 11:09:00 AM的发言：
想起，一次一个娃，反复爬和跳一个带玻璃的桌子，我们给吓死了。
还有一个是把recliner按倒了在椅子的背上，上下弹跳，若干次把沙发掀翻。
这两个妈妈的反应是当没看见。哪怕我们提了，她们的说法是孩子皮实不要紧。
我家桌子沙发再不值钱，难道你们自己娃受伤也不要紧么？？？？？
另外一次一个娃爬了一下，爹妈立刻严肃制止。然后娃改爬ottaman 就没安全问题了，我们就都松了一口气。
说的这些娃，全都是5-7岁。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:09:59编辑过]
早离题万里拉~~~~~~
看这里
以下是引用kittypeny在7/13/2010 11:09:00 AM的发言：
想起，一次一个娃，反复爬和跳一个带玻璃的桌子，我们给吓死了。
还有一个是把recliner按倒了在椅子的背上，上下弹跳，若干次把沙发掀翻。
这两个妈妈的反应是当没看见。哪怕我们提了，她们的说法是孩子皮实不要紧。
我家桌子沙发再不值钱，难道你们自己娃受伤也不要紧么？？？？？
另外一次一个娃爬了一下，爹妈立刻严肃制止。然后娃改爬ottaman 就没安全问题了，我们就都松了一口气。
说的这些娃，全都是5-7岁。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 11:09:59编辑过]
你说的这个情况，我对主人家深表同情，对做父母的不理解。
呵呵，我有小孩的，还是那句话，孩子就是大人的影子，自己对孩子管教的方式，就反映了自己的态度。教不教的好是一回事，愿意不愿意教是另外一回事。跟有孩子没孩子没关系，不要拿自己有孩子来压没有小孩的人。
绝对赞同，就象很多养宠物的，怎么样的主人就有怎么样的狗，我隔壁的邻居换了有五，六任了，那些平行不怎么样的养的宠物都很坏，有一次其中一个的孩子还被她自己养的狗咬伤了，搞得很大件事。
在我周围，中国父母管孩子的还是很多的，我们家是相对纵容一点的，但是该做和不该做的，我们一定会管的。我们是主张给孩子一个快乐的童年，所以不过分的事情我们会放任，小孩子们聚在一起人来疯，我觉得是孩子的天性，尤其是对男孩子，如果和小朋友们在一起还特有规矩，我倒觉得不太正常。
我做主人开聚会时，对客人的要求很低，不用脱鞋，孩子楼上楼下随意玩儿，只要安全，聚会也应该给小孩子happy time，如果孩子过分他们的家长会管，该说得我也会说（我通常只管安全问题）。
我去别人家玩，我会注意孩子做的事情，不该做得不许做，小孩还是很明白的，我家孩子在外面比在家乖多了，实际上更好管。
Re, I like to go to party with kids, so that my son can play with other kids, and not stick to me. Party is for fun, both for kids and adults, if you don't like kids, just don't invite those families.
Liking kids and liking kids with good manners are two different concepts. I honestly don't like kids screaming and runing everywhere in the house; I also don't like kids eating and drinking on the carpet or on the sofa. It doesn't matter it's my kid or others'. I just simply dislike those behaviors. I don't want my kids playing with them because it brings bad influnce.
Just out of curiosity, would you be ok if the host tells your children not to do certain things since you are hands off in a party?
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 14:10:15编辑过]
楼主不像是有孩子的人
在我周围，中国父母管孩子的还是很多的，我们家是相对纵容一点的，但是该做和不该做的，我们一定会管的。我们是主张给孩子一个快乐的童年，所以不过分的事情我们会放任，小孩子们聚在一起人来疯，我觉得是孩子的天性，尤其是对男孩子，如果和小朋友们在一起还特有规矩，我倒觉得不太正常。
我做主人开聚会时，对客人的要求很低，不用脱鞋，孩子楼上楼下随意玩儿，只要安全，聚会也应该给小孩子happy time，如果孩子过分他们的家长会管，该说得我也会说（我通常只管安全问题）。
我去别人家玩，我会注意孩子做的事情，不该做得不许做，小孩还是很明白的，我家孩子在外面比在家乖多了，实际上更好管。
I wish I could be like you, but my kids are small and they do pick up things from the floor and try to eat them. Also, I don't like kids in my private space, master bed, bathroom. Small kids should not be running stairs unsupervised and older kids should not access other people's private space. Would you feel comfortable if some kids discover your personal stuff, i.e. tampon?
要好的朋友同事我们会经常邀请他们来家里吃饭聊天，一次一家，我女儿安静可人，
来一两个孩子也疯不起来；女儿的playdate也是一次一个小朋友。
老公同事有时起哄要老公host a party，老公总是拒绝说我老婆有洁癖你们
肯定不喜欢，我很感激。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 14:18:05编辑过]
我们从来不在家里host party，如有必要我们都是包场去外面，
要好的朋友同事我们会经常邀请他们来家里吃饭聊天，一次一家，我女儿安静可人，
来一两个孩子也疯不起来；女儿的playdate也是一次一个小朋友。
老公同事有时起哄要老公host a party，老公总是拒绝说我老婆有洁癖你们
肯定不喜欢，我很感激。
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 14:18:05编辑过]
这个牛，我要教我LG去~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
你家孩子在疯跑疯玩，你在后面轻声细语的有人搭理吗，请传授经验
你去人家家做客，人家妈妈忙着管教孩子没功夫搭理你，你走是不走？
4-5岁的孩子，只能是唐，效果如果因人而异的；孩子的家教，到了上学的年龄区别才比较大，前面更多的是天性罢了
此类问题有孩子的跟没孩子的基本是没法沟通的
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
BRAVO~~~
我觉得这种不管教父母有两个类型，有的父母觉得没必要管，因为调皮捣蛋干坏事是小孩天性，所以看着小孩在外面出乖献丑他们不以为然，还觉得自己孩子很活泼，很可爱，别人也应该一样的喜欢，所以笑眯眯的看着。另一种父母是觉得管不了，觉得小孩出去之后就管不住了，又不能打，又不好意思当着外人的面骂，那就只好随他去，次数多了，家长也淡漠了。
但是我也见过很好家教的孩子，父母对小孩的态度很鲜明，什么该做，什么不该做，都说的很清楚。这些东西都是靠平时立规矩，不是一次就能养成的。家长也不用大喊大叫才约束得住小孩，就是平时无数细节积累起来，要不怎么叫“家教”呢。
十分同意!
I wish I could be like you, but my kids are small and they do pick up things from the floor and try to eat them. Also, I don't like kids in my private space, master bed, bathroom. Small kids should not be running stairs unsupervised and older kids should not access other people's private space. Would you feel comfortable if some kids discover your personal stuff, i.e. tampon?
进我的房间我无所谓，so far来我们家的孩子还不会翻大人的东西，而且他们的家长也不会让他们这么做，小孩子一般只是玩玩具，到了别人家觉得玩具都很新鲜，已经足够玩了。没孩子的家里就会有这种问题，小孩子没什么玩的，只好乱翻。
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
还是那句话，教是肯定教，教的结果如何还不是必然的。孩子表现不好，不能一味地说父母没做家教。
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
LOVE the comments
I have found (from personal experience) that by and large people are tremendously sympathetic to parents who have a children with a disability who take the time to explain the situation. It's the total lack of good old-fashioned manners that drives people nuts when they see a child misbehaving to the point of causing damage. An explanation and most people would have been thinking, "Those poor parents. There but for the grace of God go I."
Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/1026315-children-public-places.html#ixzz0tap0vlxi
话虽然这么说，可是做了父母的人能不能眼睛里除了自己的娃，还有别人呀。。。。毕竟自己孩子只是自己的，让他折腾自己就完了， 别折腾别人。。。
re
还是那句话，教是肯定教，教的结果如何还不是必然的。孩子表现不好，不能一味地说父母没做家教。
It means one of the two things
1) 没家教
2) The parents do 家教, but not effective. The parents should think about why they fail. It's not easy to raise a child, that's why there are so many frustrating parents and they are so many books.
呵呵，我有小孩的，还是那句话，孩子就是大人的影子，自己对孩子管教的方式，就反映了自己的态度。教不教的好是一回事，愿意不愿意教是另外一回事。跟有孩子没孩子没关系，不要拿自己有孩子来压没有小孩的人。
re
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
说的真好，真不知道有些人怎么想的，自己孩子跟别人比起来像个野蛮人似的，他还觉得自己儿子真聪明活泼可爱呢。。。sigh。。。
端着水果盘在地毯上吃，就算是成人也有这习惯。
不好的是，不应该吃完用手摸沙发，要吃完就去洗手或者找wipe擦。
这个习惯好吗?
Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/1026315-children-public-places.html#ixzz0taqf0c3H
我家孩子3-5岁，去的一个朋友家有小孩11岁，11岁的小哥哥不喜欢我们家孩子，嫌他们拿他的东西了（很多是朋友给的，我们家的孩子很喜欢小哥哥），朋友倒是很喜欢我们家孩子，因为经历过这个过程，知道这个阶段的小孩子就是这样。楼主的思维和11岁的那个小孩有点儿像（不要拍我）。
家长如果看到不管，不对。
家长如果没看到，家长疏忽。
但是要求小朋友在party的时候，吃（任何）东西只能在桌子上，这是不可能的。
我对我家小朋友是这么要求的,吃东西必须在桌子上. 否则就不要吃.
教育的结果是, 上月去CHERRY PICKING , 其他小朋友午饭时间在乱走, 就她一个人在野餐桌上吃完她的午饭, 然后兴高采烈得和小朋友一起去玩了.
给自己和小朋友一人一朵小红花!
Anyone who stood up in the booth and looked at the people behind us got the Death Stare. From Mom and Dad. (This was to be avoided at all costs.)They also knew that meant the soda was going bye-bye and good luck on watching TV that night.
Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/1026315-children-public-places.html#ixzz0tarZ9meq
shake hands. In my own experienc, I can't believe a 6-year-old girl's Mom just sit there watching her daughter stepping on my designer sofa and climbing from one arm to the back and then to the other arm several times.....
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/7/13 13:06:26编辑过]
有一次去一个朋友家 PARTY. 另一个朋友带了孩子, 是个2,3岁的男孩, 也是上窜下跳, 穿着鞋在主人家的皮沙发上踩来踩去, 主人面色不好, 不过也没说什么.
我稍微侧面 提了一下, 说 你儿子爬这么高啊. 本想着希望家长注意一下 ． 结果人家妈妈眼皮都不抬说:啊， 没事, 他在家就这样．．不会摔下来的.．．
我无语啊．．．感情光关心她儿子的安全了, 没想到人家家的沙发．．．你们家沙发给你儿子随便踩， 人家家的凭什么要你儿子踩啊．．
这个习惯好吗?
坐在地毯上吃水果，这个习惯好与不好，个人标准不同。
在一个自助式的party里，大家还经常拿着盘子一边吃一边站着或走着找别人谈话的，习惯好与不好，因人因地不同而论。
如果其他人和其他小朋友都可以坐在地上吃，自己和娃一定要坐在桌子边上吃，这很奇怪。
如果其他人和其他小朋友都坐在桌子边上吃，自己和娃一定要坐在地毯子上吃，这没礼貌。
如果主人家把吃的全放在餐桌上，并没有放在茶几或餐厅外以外的地方吃，客人拿着吃的到处窜，同样不礼貌。
入境随俗，谈不上好与坏。
小朋友在外面的表现好坏绝对是家里教育的结果.
去有小朋友的家做客, 不会计较人家妈妈因为管教孩子而不搭理我.
家教是从小开始的, 有工夫2岁教小朋友识字算数,就不能教小朋友礼貌吗?
我有孩子,今年4岁半
我去朋友家管小孩主要在于：脱鞋，没有别人的容许不能拿别人的东西，吃东西是在吃东西的地方，没有主人的容许不能去主人的卧房（不过主人家有小孩的经常会带着孩子去小孩的房间），不能乱翻东西，危险行为要制止。学习一下，姐妹们认为还有什么应注意？
我家孩子3-5岁，去的一个朋友家有小孩11岁，11岁的小哥哥不喜欢我们家孩子，嫌他们拿他的东西了（很多是朋友给的，我们家的孩子很喜欢小哥哥），朋友倒是很喜欢我们家孩子，因为经历过这个过程，知道这个阶段的小孩子就是这样。楼主的思维和11岁的那个小孩有点儿像（不要拍我）。
我对我家小朋友是这么要求的,吃东西必须在桌子上. 否则就不要吃.
教育的结果是, 上月去CHERRY PICKING , 其他小朋友午饭时间在乱走, 就她一个人在野餐桌上吃完她的午饭, 然后兴高采烈得和小朋友一起去玩了.
给自己和小朋友一人一朵小红花!
你家娃真cute啊。
我对我家小朋友是这么要求的,吃东西必须在桌子上. 否则就不要吃.
教育的结果是, 上月去CHERRY PICKING , 其他小朋友午饭时间在乱走, 就她一个人在野餐桌上吃完她的午饭, 然后兴高采烈得和小朋友一起去玩了.
给自己和小朋友一人一朵小红花!
每家不一样，你家是你家的习惯，但不代表你家的习惯就是大家都认可的标准“好”。
就算是你家的习惯很好，也不能强求其他人家的也和你家一样的做法。
btw，我家也是不允许孩子除了在餐桌以外的地方吃东西，你可以搜我的老贴看一下。