那他给你说放养的时候， 你立刻打断， excuse me， i dont have a child, and I dont EVER plan to have one. so please save your speech. now i ask your child do not damage my property.
Yes it's more difficult to educate the parents than the kids. I just think that for the sake of the innocent kid, I should try to make some difference. Hopefully a simply gesture would have some tiny impact.
Yes it's more difficult to educate the parents than the kids. I just think that for the sake of the innocent kid, I should try to make some difference. Hopefully a simply gesture would have some tiny impact.
I agree that it's never right to take over any parents' parenting right.
But I think that kids learn not only from their parents, but from the world all around. So I believe it's good to show case some good manner and explain how the world outside home works do them benefits.
I agree that it's never right to take over any parents' parenting right.
But I think that kids learn not only from their parents, but from the world all around. So I believe it's good to show case some good manner and explain how the world outside home works do them benefits.
我认为应该由父母决定什么是do them benefits, 什么不是。。。 因为我知道你是确实是想do them benefit。 但是很多人， 借 do benefit会做别的事情。。。 所以这个口子， 我本人是不会喜欢开的。。
enen, do you see anything that I believe now may not be the best way -- as for educating other kids? I just learn and practice, there must be aspects that I'm not seeing.
Yes I see your concern--I have the same concern all the time. The reality is, kids go to school and learn all different things from different people. Perhaps that I should say that I'm willing to show them how I understand the world, and how they understand is their own choice. As for damaging behavior, I still feel that I want to stop it even if I'm not the owner because it has the cost to the whole group--the hostess gets annoyed and the party is ruined.
I don't mean to educate kids that they should do this or that because that I think it's correct. I totally agree with you that we have no right to force our own belief on kids. I never ask my own little one to do this or that because it's right or wrong. I always give real reasons behind it--drawing on the wall is difficult to clean, etc. And she understands it very well, and always feels good knowing these reasoning and uses them to educate her Dad. :P My rule is, stop damaging behavior because of the damage. Follow the rules of the house because we don't have the right to disturb others in the group.
enen, do you see anything that I believe now may not be the best way -- as for educating other kids? I just learn and practice, there must be aspects that I'm not seeing.
Yes I see your concern--I have the same concern all the time. The reality is, kids go to school and learn all different things from different people. Perhaps that I should say that I'm willing to show them how I understand the world, and how they understand is their own choice. As for damaging behavior, I still feel that I want to stop it even if I'm not the owner because it has the cost to the whole group--the hostess gets annoyed and the party is ruined.
I don't mean to educate kids that they should do this or that because that I think it's correct. I totally agree with you that we have no right to force our own belief on kids. I never ask my own little one to do this or that because it's right or wrong. I always give real reasons behind it--drawing on the wall is difficult to clean, etc. And she understands it very well, and always feels good knowing these reasoning and uses them to educate her Dad. :P My rule is, stop damaging behavior because of the damage. Follow the rules of the house because we don't have the right to disturb others in the group.
I have a guess--you are too used to the positive feedback from your parents, hubby, friends... So it's difficult to adapt to people who don't give praise that often. Well, sort of culture difference.For a while, I really wondered if I should give my daughter too much praise...
I have a guess--you are too used to the positive feedback from your parents, hubby, friends... So it's difficult to adapt to people who don't give praise that often. Well, sort of culture difference.For a while, I really wondered if I should give my daughter too much praise...
I didn't because I thought that you had a perfect day to enjoy, wonderful enough. My praise won't make any difference...Hehe, I put my own preference on you, which is obviously not right.
I didn't because I thought that you had a perfect day to enjoy, wonderful enough. My praise won't make any difference...Hehe, I put my own preference on you, which is obviously not right.
playdough is disaster--I still have some leftover in my carpet now...
I think that DVDs and books are safe choices. :)
给看了dvd的。妈呀我还忘记看放电影的房间被糟蹋成什么样子了，据说他们在楼上吃了东西的。。。。。。。。。
明白了。我总结
遇到祸害的孩子，直接跟父母说，这是我家，我家不允许这样的行为，请制止你的孩子。气场强大万分坚定，不微笑而是拉长脸的只说一次
如果不work?
再说一遍。 要有坚定的defend自己权利的气场。。。 说3遍， 还不行， 跟着她，推着他， 教他们擦地， 嫌弃他们擦的不干净， 就和他们一起擦。。。 我要是你， 我不会到第3 遍， 估摸父母就会自己去擦地了。。。
不要说孩子危险啥的， 那是人家要worry的事情。 就说自己的沙发， 请大家爱惜，不要跳。
就是这个意思。
em , em , 这个fake关心的情绪，我想我能清晰的传达出fake但是传达不出关心；。。。。。。。。。
所以focus在他的娃娃， 是没什么用的。。
再说一遍。 要有坚定的defend自己权利的气场。。。 说3遍， 还不行， 跟着她，推着他， 教他们擦地， 嫌弃他们擦的不干净， 就和他们一起擦。。。 我要是你， 我不会到第3 遍， 估摸父母就会自己去擦地了。。。
你前几天才说你不搞大party的。。。。。。。
爱怎么养怎么养，我实在100%不care。只要别在我家撒野
那他给你说放养的时候， 你立刻打断， excuse me， i dont have a child, and I dont EVER plan to have one. so please save your speech. now i ask your child do not damage my property.
片片呢。
没有片片。。 芥个事情是这样开始的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4197268&skin=1
是这样计划的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4197371&skin=1
是这样实施的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4211488&skin=1
美的我冒大大的彩色泡泡。。 开心坏了
你前几天才说你不搞大party的。。。。。。。
我最大的party就是若干年前， 8个人， 没娃。全是大人， 很和谐。。
如果在网上相对不care对方是谁的时候，想说服对方都难，为什么相信自己能说服别人的父母呢。。。。。。。。。。
Yes it's more difficult to educate the parents than the kids. I just think that for the sake of the innocent kid, I should try to make some difference. Hopefully a simply gesture would have some tiny impact.
8888~~~~
你这就回去了？
你这就回去了？
帖子数8888
帮我盯着
Yes it's more difficult to educate the parents than the kids. I just think that for the sake of the innocent kid, I should try to make some difference. Hopefully a simply gesture would have some tiny impact.
明白了，这就是思想认识的差距。。。。。。只有真心对娃的welbeing很care才能有耐心做这些。。。。。。
我可能是没办法fake出真心了。。。。。
你这就回去了？
去哪儿啊？
帖子数8888
帮我盯着
话说没来， 我这段时间好好研究了一下， 中国这个富国强民， 估计在50-80年内， 还只能是个传说。。 就是中国确实会越来越强大的， 但是要到能和美国抗衡的强大， 估计本世纪结束也做不到。。 要到超过美国， 我感觉肯定至少要150年以后。。。
盘子大，不好整啊
８８８４
笑咩？
盘子大，不好整啊
最近读了不少历史，其实觉得有历史， 很多时候未必是一件好事情。。。 今天早上看文学城新闻提到日本的拆婚行业，就是雇佣一个人， 勾引伴侣， 这样可以离婚。 分析也是因为日本人非常不喜欢正面直接对抗。。 所以以这样的方式。。。
祝大家发财，日进斗金~~
这件事情孩子到底是个什么心理过程， 我一点儿不懂。。。 我就是觉得对别人的孩子外人没啥权利。。。即使自己真的认为自己是对的， 也没权利去教育娃。大人听的进去， 最好， 听不进去， 那就别的办法。。 但是总之我觉得是要通过大人走。。
I agree that it's never right to take over any parents' parenting right.
But I think that kids learn not only from their parents, but from the world all around. So I believe it's good to show case some good manner and explain how the world outside home works do them benefits.
人小没关系，沙发哪那么容易坏啊，你让他去，让他去
我们家沙发质量不好，只能坐，不能跳
I agree that it's never right to take over any parents' parenting right.
But I think that kids learn not only from their parents, but from the world all around. So I believe it's good to show case some good manner and explain how the world outside home works do them benefits.
我认为应该由父母决定什么是do them benefits, 什么不是。。。 因为我知道你是确实是想do them benefit。 但是很多人， 借 do benefit会做别的事情。。。 所以这个口子， 我本人是不会喜欢开的。。
我们可以在孩子面前在自己的行为上，做自己认为是对的（以不要求孩子做任何事情为前提）， 但是我不认为， 我们有权利明确对别人的孩子说， 我这样的行为是对的， 世界是这样work的。。 。 特别我觉得没有权利让孩子做一件事情， 然后告诉他， 这个行为才是对的。。。
对呀， 多好啊。。。 还要教孩子该说对不起就说对不起。。。美国好的， 咱们就学。
这个也跟文化有关，中国讲究的是大恩不言谢，美国是不管想不想谢，谢了再说。
没有片片。。 芥个事情是这样开始的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4197268&skin=1
是这样计划的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4197371&skin=1
是这样实施的
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=331&topicid=697439&replyid=4211488&skin=1
美的我冒大大的彩色泡泡。。 开心坏了
真美呀, 怪不得冒大大的彩色泡泡.
Kp，no就是no。没有解释的必要，那是你的底盘
enen, do you see anything that I believe now may not be the best way -- as for educating other kids? I just learn and practice, there must be aspects that I'm not seeing.
我们家沙发质量不好，只能坐，不能跳
不用找借口啊。。自己家的财产，自己有权利的， 何必找借口， 那人家摸摸， 跳跳， 说， 你这个沙发质量很好啊。 你怎么办
真美呀, 怪不得冒大大的彩色泡泡.
偶仰天长笑啊。。哈哈哈哈。。。 谢谢concord
不用找借口啊。。自己家的财产，自己有权利的， 何必找借口， 那人家摸摸， 跳跳， 说， 你这个沙发质量很好啊。 你怎么办
顶。。。。。借口never works....
等这个表扬等了好久啊
太长了。。。没耐心读啊。。。。。。。。。。
我最大的party就是若干年前， 8个人， 没娃。全是大人， 很和谐。。
只要没娃就好办，大不了话不投机，还可以和别人说话。
不用找借口啊。。自己家的财产，自己有权利的， 何必找借口， 那人家摸摸， 跳跳， 说， 你这个沙发质量很好啊。 你怎么办
嗯，对，就说，我们家的沙发只许坐，不许跳。
只要没娃就好办，大不了话不投机，还可以和别人说话。
周日大人的party我就愉快死了。
的确好的party完毕觉得更加energetic
不好的party开了没多久就觉得很疲劳了
我故意憋你呢，但是为毛其他人也没表扬，我还真没想通哈哈。。。。。。。
我也是故意的
我故意憋你呢，但是为毛其他人也没表扬，我还真没想通哈哈。。。。。。。
偶也想不通啊。。。。 为毛啊，嗯嗯也还没有表扬我呢。。。是不是我错啦， 可我没错啊
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/2/16 12:49:58编辑过]
周日大人的party我就愉快死了。
的确好的party完毕觉得更加energetic
不好的party开了没多久就觉得很疲劳了
oyeah!!!!
偶也想不通啊。。。。 为毛啊，嗯嗯也还没有表扬我呢。。。是不是我错啦
不表扬你就是你错了? 这个逻辑不太通呀.
偶觉得偶真的还是小孩子脾气， BSO完了之后哦，就等着表扬， 等了老半天。。。哈哈哈。。。给表扬一下好像夏天吃了冰激凌一样舒服。。。
[fly]
你不奔，不乖
[/fly]
大家好~~
给大家拜年了
红包拿来~~
大家好~~
给大家拜年了
偶也想不通啊。。。。 为毛啊，嗯嗯也还没有表扬我呢。。。是不是我错啦， 可我没错啊
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/2/16 12:49:58编辑过]
不是啦，地球人忙生计，杂事等多的很，说不定一下就忘了。
我认为应该由父母决定什么是do them benefits, 什么不是。。。 因为我知道你是确实是想do them benefit。 但是很多人， 借 do benefit会做别的事情。。。 所以这个口子， 我本人是不会喜欢开的。。
我们可以在孩子面前在自己的行为上，做自己认为是对的（以不要求孩子做任何事情为前提）， 但是我不认为， 我们有权利明确对别人的孩子说， 我这样的行为是对的， 世界是这样work的。。 。 特别我觉得没有权利让孩子做一件事情， 然后告诉他， 这个行为才是对的。。。
Yes I see your concern--I have the same concern all the time. The reality is, kids go to school and learn all different things from different people. Perhaps that I should say that I'm willing to show them how I understand the world, and how they understand is their own choice. As for damaging behavior, I still feel that I want to stop it even if I'm not the owner because it has the cost to the whole group--the hostess gets annoyed and the party is ruined.
I don't mean to educate kids that they should do this or that because that I think it's correct. I totally agree with you that we have no right to force our own belief on kids. I never ask my own little one to do this or that because it's right or wrong. I always give real reasons behind it--drawing on the wall is difficult to clean, etc. And she understands it very well, and always feels good knowing these reasoning and uses them to educate her Dad. :P My rule is, stop damaging behavior because of the damage. Follow the rules of the house because we don't have the right to disturb others in the group.
大家好~~
给大家拜年了
问你家老二好
偶也想不通啊。。。。 为毛啊，嗯嗯也还没有表扬我呢。。。是不是我错啦， 可我没错啊
[此贴子已经被作者于2010/2/16 12:49:58编辑过]
难道前面我没支持你吗？
enen, do you see anything that I believe now may not be the best way -- as for educating other kids? I just learn and practice, there must be aspects that I'm not seeing.
嗯，我不确定我明白了你的问题，能给我解释一下吗？
问你家老二好
老二是闲话二叔?
到底大叔是谁的马甲?
等这个表扬等了好久啊
Haha, forgot your need again...
Thank you for sharing the whole story--I felt like having a very pleasant day with you when reading the words.
Yes I see your concern--I have the same concern all the time. The reality is, kids go to school and learn all different things from different people. Perhaps that I should say that I'm willing to show them how I understand the world, and how they understand is their own choice. As for damaging behavior, I still feel that I want to stop it even if I'm not the owner because it has the cost to the whole group--the hostess gets annoyed and the party is ruined.
I don't mean to educate kids that they should do this or that because that I think it's correct. I totally agree with you that we have no right to force our own belief on kids. I never ask my own little one to do this or that because it's right or wrong. I always give real reasons behind it--drawing on the wall is difficult to clean, etc. And she understands it very well, and always feels good knowing these reasoning and uses them to educate her Dad. :P My rule is, stop damaging behavior because of the damage. Follow the rules of the house because we don't have the right to disturb others in the group.
除非一个小孩的行为确实实实在在的损害了同group其他小孩， 而且当时没有监护人，或者老师在场。 否则我坚持应该直接和监护人， 老师等负责人谈。
不表扬你就是你错了? 这个逻辑不太通呀.
所以我不知道为毛啊
不表扬你就是你错了? 这个逻辑不太通呀.
Interesting point. I really wondered why empty has this need... ;P
难道前面我没支持你吗？
你支持我了。 你还没表扬我的彩色大泡泡呢
嗯，我不确定我明白了你的问题，能给我解释一下吗？
If I see damaging behavior in other kids, do I have the right to stop him/her?
老二是闲话二叔?
到底大叔是谁的马甲?
我以为是一家的
Interesting point. I really wondered why empty has this need... ;P
现在我一个不知道为毛没被表扬， 第二个不明白为毛我有这个需求。。
Haha, forgot your need again...
Thank you for sharing the whole story--I felt like having a very pleasant day with you when reading the words.
谢谢谢谢。。
你支持我了。 你还没表扬我的彩色大泡泡呢
汗，谁让你吹个泡泡呢，泡泡不一会儿就破了，难怪大家都没看到。
问你家老二好
多谢关心~
看到空空美得冒泡的一天了，实在是太美了，看得我微笑个不停。太享受了。
谢谢表扬， 谢谢表扬啊。。。。
老二是闲话二叔?
到底大叔是谁的马甲?
大叔是我的马甲
汗，谁让你吹个泡泡呢，泡泡不一会儿就破了，难怪大家都没看到。
可是真的就是个大泡泡啊。。 别的不是啥啊。。 所以确实就破了啊。。。 要是每天那么过， 我会很闷啊。。。 就是难得，才享受啊。。。
所以我不知道为毛啊
I have a guess--you are too used to the positive feedback from your parents, hubby, friends... So it's difficult to adapt to people who don't give praise that often. Well, sort of culture difference.For a while, I really wondered if I should give my daughter too much praise...
Interesting point. I really wondered why empty has this need... ;P
it's against all my presumptions about kongkong
大叔是我的马甲
大叔是二叔的马甲.
那二叔是谁的马甲?
(不允许循环论证.)
I have a guess--you are too used to the positive feedback from your parents, hubby, friends... So it's difficult to adapt to people who don't give praise that often. Well, sort of culture difference.For a while, I really wondered if I should give my daughter too much praise...
真的呢。。。 你来我家看过么。。。
在家里面， 我要表扬的时候，要是老公没意识到， 我会直接说, praise please. 现在这样的情况非常少了。。。 反正我要啥， 就说。。 然后被表扬后， 我就又蹦又跳， 他以后也会特别喜欢表扬我。。。 酱紫。。
大叔是二叔的马甲.
那二叔是谁的马甲?
(不允许循环论证.)
二叔是老id了，还能是谁的马甲？
现在我一个不知道为毛没被表扬， 第二个不明白为毛我有这个需求。。
I didn't because I thought that you had a perfect day to enjoy, wonderful enough. My praise won't make any difference...Hehe, I put my own preference on you, which is obviously not right.
二叔是老id了，还能是谁的马甲？
2010年2月10号注册的, 也叫老id?
I didn't because I thought that you had a perfect day to enjoy, wonderful enough. My praise won't make any difference...Hehe, I put my own preference on you, which is obviously not right.
可是我觉得你这样很对啊。。。。。。。
你们昨天都看双人滑了没有? 真好看.
看了， 好棒
If I see damaging behavior in other kids, do I have the right to stop him/her?
嗯，我是这样看，you have the rights to speak up，那是必要的，好的就是好的，对的就是对的；一定要＂stop＂我觉得这个就是跨线了。恐怕最好的方式就是把事实摆在那里，由做的人自己＂决定＂是否自己要继续＂破坏＂或＂伤害＂的行为。
二叔是老id了，还能是谁的马甲？
真够老的
嗯，我是这样看，you have the rights to speak up，那是必要的，好的就是好的，对的就是对的；一定要＂stop＂我觉得这个就是跨线了。恐怕最好的方式就是把事实摆在那里，由做的人自己＂决定＂是否自己要继续＂破坏＂或＂伤害＂的行为。
学龄儿童也有判断能力吗？
看了， 好棒
是呀, 最后真为中国的两对选手捏着一把汗呢.
申雪和赵宏博真不容易呀, 一起练了18年了.
真的呢。。。 你来我家看过么。。。
在家里面， 我要表扬的时候，要是老公没意识到， 我会直接说, praise please. 现在这样的情况非常少了。。。 反正我要啥， 就说。。 然后被表扬后， 我就又蹦又跳， 他以后也会特别喜欢表扬我。。。 酱紫。。
Haha, and my hubby always complains that I don't praise him...
按理说，自己爽了就爽了，为什么非要旁人的评论来加强自己的感觉呢
It's your (and my) theory, not Kongkong's; not my hubby's, either. :)
It's your (and my) theory, not Kongkong's; not my hubby's, either. :)
大家前阵子这样教育我的。
学龄儿童也有判断能力吗？
这是不完全独立的判断，多是根据自己看到authority?figure来做判断的。
当大家都不表扬空空的时候，空空什么感觉？
I guess it feels like a great performance without loud long-lasting applaud from the audience... :)
嗯，我是这样看，you have the rights to speak up，那是必要的，好的就是好的，对的就是对的；一定要＂stop＂我觉得这个就是跨线了。恐怕最好的方式就是把事实摆在那里，由做的人自己＂决定＂是否自己要继续＂破坏＂或＂伤害＂的行为。
Got it! Yeah, thanks for making it so simple and clear! :)
学龄儿童也有判断能力吗？
Yes, and I can see my daughter really enjoys making her own decision once knowing the reasons behind.
可是我觉得你这样很对啊。。。。。。。
I'm right with myself--I don't need praise to be happier; but not right with Kongkong--she needs. And I'm very happy to make her happier.
是呀, 最后真为中国的两对选手捏着一把汗呢.
申雪和赵宏博真不容易呀, 一起练了18年了.
完美的谢幕。。 真的， 人到这一步， 恐怕真的没太多遗憾了
是呀, 最后真为中国的两对选手捏着一把汗呢.
申雪和赵宏博真不容易呀, 一起练了18年了.
他们是不是会退役了，比体操运动员的生涯长
可是人为什么需要别人的反馈来肯定自己呢。。。。。。。。。跟大家前阵子说的又不一样了么。。。。。
偶不是通过表扬来肯定自己的， 这个我很肯定。。
但是我也疑惑为什么我等表扬。。估计cyprus说的有道理， 我习惯了。 所以自然就等， 结果没等来， 反而疑惑为毛没有。。。
Haha, and my hubby always complains that I don't praise him...
偶和偶老公相互之间两个事情不吝啬， 一个是表扬， 一个是说对不起
是呀, 最后真为中国的两对选手捏着一把汗呢.
申雪和赵宏博真不容易呀, 一起练了18年了.
他们是不是会退役了，比体操运动员的生涯长