if your baby was born in the states, s/he is a U.S. citizen. Never heard of that you need to share the custody with your parents-in-law in the U.S. Don't give the baby to them. You don't have to.
以下是引用团团妈妈在2008-7-29 10:03:00的发言: 不知道你家啥情况,乱说一句,为了孩子,既然你婆婆走了,你们2个人不能和好吗? this is not the 1st time this mom comes to our board talking about it le bing dong 3 chi, fei 1 ri zhi han a
My friend's GP came to US years ago and stayed with them first. They got divorced in one year. Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year. ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
MM, Dont give us so easily just becuase of your mother in law. Once she is gone, your husband will gradually reazlize who is more important to him. It is not easy to raise a child by yourself, dont divorce. wait until the child grow up, see how your husband behave. Let somebody talk to your husband, it is you and not his mother that will accompny him through the whole life. Keep in mind, dont divorce, for the baby, be tolerate.
My friend's GP came to US years ago and stayed with them first. They got divorced in one year. Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year. ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
My friend's GP came to US years ago and stayed with them first. They got divorced in one year. Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year. ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
MM, Dont give us so easily just becuase of your mother in law. Once she is gone, your husband will gradually reazlize who is more important to him. It is not easy to raise a child by yourself, dont divorce. wait until the child grow up, see how your husband behave. Let somebody talk to your husband, it is you and not his mother that will accompny him through the whole life. Keep in mind, dont divorce, for the baby, be tolerate. 这个结论太绝对了。
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
办护照的可以看看这个帖子
http://www.mitbbs.com/article/NextGeneration/31180467_3.html
旅行证
http://www.mitbbs.com/article/NextGeneration/31284086_3.html
mit 上面有蛮多信息的,可以找找看。
祝福!
护照和旅行证的帖子版上很多,一搜就可以搜出来,写的都很详细。
如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
严重同意,而且这个很重要。否则以后还要纠缠不清。
等他们走了再看看吧, 会好起来的吧.
Never heard of that you need to share the custody with your parents-in-law in the U.S.
Don't give the baby to them. You don't have to.
MM是否可以别太急着回去,你公公婆婆走后你再跟你老公单独过一段时间,也许会有改善。
护照和旅行证的帖子版上很多,一搜就可以搜出来,写的都很详细。
对呀,不要就这样放弃了,以后也许会后悔呢
再说这个离婚也不是什么私下交易,不是你们这样说小孩一人一半就完了的。实在过不下去的话,孩子要跟妈妈,既然有了孩子,要尽可能多的为孩子的利益,他是最无辜的。
如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
aglee,回国就不给了,管他呢!nnd
如果LG还转变不好,可以住朋友家或者自己搬出去,离婚先不急着办,最多先分居冷静一下。GP远在国内也拿你没办法。有朋友劝劝你LG最好。
即使你回国了也不必半年后把孩子给GP带。哪怕事先答应好签好协议也可以反悔的。回国了有家里人支持就更不用怕GP了。
最近听的这种事情真多。跟你的GP一比,大多数GP都算好的了。
不知道说什么好。bless. 如果纯粹由于婆婆得原因离婚不值得。如果劳工也很让人失望,就是另外一回事乐。等婆婆走后,好好和老公谈谈吧。
发现很多老公都这样,公婆来了他也变成小baby了!
发现很多老公都这样,公婆来了他也变成小baby了!
很多人外表象个男人,其实心里还没断奶。真可怕。
如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
Agree!
既然他们同意给宝宝办护照旅行证,赶紧让宝宝爸爸写好用来办护照旅行证的委托书,你好好保存,万一以后要用。先去办护照,办护照还要等一段时间。在这个期间你GP也已经走了。让你LG多参与带孩子,多和孩子玩,看看你LG有没有可能转变过来。不过注意孩子护照要保管好,别让LG拿走。
如果LG还转变不好,可以住朋友家或者自己搬出去,离婚先不急着办,最多先分居冷静一下。GP远在国内也拿你没办法。有朋友劝劝你LG最好。
即使你回国了也不必半年后把孩子给GP带。哪怕事先答应好签好协议也可以反悔的。回国了有家里人支持就更不用怕GP了。
最近听的这种事情真多。跟你的GP一比,大多数GP都算好的了。
支持。冷静一下,先把GP送走,然后尽量试试跟LG找找感觉。但与此同时要做好二手准备,保护好宝宝和自己。有家的时候,尽力做有利于家庭幸福的事。如果实在没办法必须分手,那就要尽力做有利于宝宝和自己的事。
千万不要一时赌气做一些伤害自己的事。
如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
totally agree, unless you don't want your baby back.
姐妹们帮帮我! 公公婆婆后2天就要走了,昨天也爆发了第N次家庭大战,后来我们达成的协议我们离婚,小孩一人一半,先由我带回国,然后半年交由公公婆婆带.宝宝爸爸可以回国看宝宝,我现在想赶快带着宝宝回国,请问
1宝宝护照以及旅行证如何申请?
2如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
谢谢!
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 9:52:14编辑过]
1. 宝宝护照,到当地邮局就可以办理,带出生纸和护照相片去,然后交申请费(现金或MONEY ORDER)就可以了。
旅行证到领事馆办理,可以上中国驻美国大使馆上看看,上面有详细的材料说明。
2.如果宝宝爸爸不回去,当时可以(而且建议千万)不把宝宝给公婆,他们又不是法定监护人。
你家公婆真够可以的,来一趟,就拆了一个小家庭。哎!
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 11:11:57编辑过]
抚养权一定要说清楚,公正!!!
你如果有条件自己带孩子,干吗跟他们家分一半?????
1. 宝宝护照,到当地邮局就可以办理,带出生纸和护照相片去,然后交申请费(现金或MONEY ORDER)就可以了。
旅行证到领事馆办理,可以上中国驻美国大使馆上看看,上面有详细的材料说明。
2.如果宝宝爸爸不回去,当时可以不把宝宝给公婆,他们又不是法定监护人。
你家公婆真够可以的,来一趟,就拆了一个小家庭。哎!
这说明这对公婆根本不爱自己的儿子,把他弄得妻离子散,他们就高兴了?可怜这个儿子,不但意识不到这一点,还站父母一边的。愚蠢。可惜了楼主和宝宝。
这是做最坏的打算,但同时看看公婆走之后是否跟老公还有和好的余地。跟老公好好谈谈,一般很多时候公婆走了,老公就会变回来一些的。
跟你老公说好抚养权
比如说好 你全权负责抚养 可以让你老公随时探访
答应回国后 gp可以代替照顾半年 但需得到你的同意
等回去了 你不给gp人家也没有办法 要是硬来 就找美国大使馆去
这说明这对公婆根本不爱自己的儿子,把他弄得妻离子散,他们就高兴了?可怜这个儿子,不但意识不到这一点,还站父母一边的。愚蠢。可惜了楼主和宝宝。
冒昧8一句:公婆对这个媳妇不满意,认为他们的儿子还可以找到更好的。。。
而这个儿子如果也这么认为,那。。。
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 13:56:36编辑过]
毕竟有了孩子了,离婚还是大事要考虑啊
不过如果离了别给婆家照顾孩子了,你自己带吧
这说明这对公婆根本不爱自己的儿子,把他弄得妻离子散,他们就高兴了?可怜这个儿子,不但意识不到这一点,还站父母一边的。愚蠢。可惜了楼主和宝宝。
是啊,是啊。要是我,争也要争到抚养权,除了孩子爸爸自己来见孩子,其他的一概不见。
是啊,可怜楼主,一个人在这边,一个人跟他们那么一大家人争执,寡不敌众的。哎~!
记得我刚谈恋爱那会儿,我妈妈一个劲的跟我说找人一定要找个好家庭,否则2个人再好的感情都没用。当时年轻觉得这话听上去很滑稽,现在听到看到很多人都是因为公婆因素导致离婚的,才发现我妈妈当年说的那些真是有道理的。
Pat pat MM.
咨询律师,最坏的打算是孩子归妈妈,爸爸付抚养费。这样的爷爷奶奶,估计对孩子也谈不上爱护了~~~
恐怖啊,公婆简单是炸弹。。。。。。
是啊,是啊。要是我,争也要争到抚养权,除了孩子爸爸自己来见孩子,其他的一概不见。
是啊,可怜楼主,一个人在这边,一个人跟他们那么一大家人争执,寡不敌众的。哎~!
记得我刚谈恋爱那会儿,我妈妈一个劲的跟我说找人一定要找个好家庭,否则2个人再好的感情都没用。当时年轻觉得这话听上去很滑稽,现在听到看到很多人都是因为公婆因素导致离婚的,才发现我妈妈当年说的那些真是有道理的。
你妈妈真的是睿智啊,家庭出身对人的个性,生活习惯等等的确影响很大。真正的坏人毕竟是少数,但说话和做事的方式,生活习惯等从小养成的小节之处却很考验婚姻的。。。
他们把自己儿子当皇帝呢,能读个书出个国,就以为自己生了个皇帝,自己当了太上皇。
中国人不是觉得“兄弟如手足,女人如衣服”么?这种观念的公婆肯定会敦促自己儿子扔掉旧衣服,换几件好衣服,换到最漂亮最合身为止。
啊呸,以为全世界都由着他们任意挑选来着。这种人,不吃苦头不会后悔的。
估计事情就是这样的:
老公瞒着有一个小金库
取了一万多给公公婆婆
公公婆婆假装要给钱给你们
然后你们不要
然后你知道事情的真相,觉得很虚伪
所以吵架
所以决定离婚
唉,何必这么认真呢,父母都是自己的父母,无论你父母和他父母的关系如何,你只要跟你老公关系好就是了,其他的,正一只眼闭一只眼了,好好照顾孩子,好好照顾自己,不想听的话就装作没听见。
有些老脑筋的老头老太,是这样想问题的,自己的儿子条件那么好,女人应该一堆一堆地由其挑选。什么妻离子散啊,只要儿子在,什么年纪想找女人还不容易,找了年轻女人,什么时候想生孩子还不容易?想要家庭,随时随地组一个不就得了?
他们把自己儿子当皇帝呢,能读个书出个国,就以为自己生了个皇帝,自己当了太上皇。
中国人不是觉得“兄弟如手足,女人如衣服”么?这种观念的公婆肯定会敦促自己儿子扔掉旧衣服,换几件好衣服,换到最漂亮最合身为止。
啊呸,以为全世界都由着他们任意挑选来着。这种人,不吃苦头不会后悔的。
不管这个lz的gp是不是这样,确实有好多父母都是这么想自己的孩子,觉得不管什么时候,离婚对他儿子一点影响没有,倒霉的是儿媳...
唉...不管这种gp是不是极品,也确实和中国的传统礼教有关.可恶
这位lz,能不能等gp回国后再冷静点.其实每个家庭都有搞不清的事情,不管你以后再婚什么的.不要冲动啊
姐妹们帮帮我! 公公婆婆后2天就要走了,昨天也爆发了第N次家庭大战,后来我们达成的协议我们离婚,小孩一人一半,先由我带回国,然后半年交由公公婆婆带.宝宝爸爸可以回国看宝宝,我现在想赶快带着宝宝回国,请问
1宝宝护照以及旅行证如何申请?
2如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
谢谢!
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 9:52:14编辑过]
夫妻离婚和小孩抚养权都与公公婆婆无关呀.
为什么这里要加入公公婆婆呢?
MM冷静点,孩子和婚姻都是你和你LG的,即便决定离婚,也没有必要与公公婆婆协商把.
在妈妈有能力自己养的前提,还要半年交由公公婆婆带, 这个在中国和美国的法律都说不通吧.
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
宝宝爸爸不回国要宝宝,他父母会去找你麻烦吗?
你为什么不在美国离婚,抚养费和监护权都不能少,权益还能得到保护。你没有身份但是只要答应法官离婚后拿一笔抚养费就会回国抚养宝宝,应该没有问题吧。
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 11:45:08编辑过]
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
他父母不是要走了吗? 要协议也要等他父母走了以后,你们再协议,不要让他们在场插一脚了。
就算要谈离婚,你也得把财产的事情搞搞清楚,做做准备,得到专业的咨询,然后按照人家教的做准备。你带来的钱,是你的,现在居然都花完了,其实不应该,这些钱应该是你女方的自己的emergency fund。你们是夫妻关系存续期间,即使你f4,即使你没工作,你也应该有一起的账户,你应该要有财政的掌握权。如果这个准备不做好,很多事情你更加处于劣势。
你先少安毋躁,等老人先走,然后理理思绪。首先想想清楚到底要不要离婚,可不可以以后不要他们来了。
先不要想着回国如何改地址逃避,这样的心态不积极,不是解决问题的最好办法。如果真的要离婚,你必须冷静,非常冷静,不再说气话,孩子话,不打草惊蛇,考虑并且一步步实施,如何积累自己的账户,如何保证自己的独立身份。如果你能有这样的实力和心态,那么抚养权就容易许多。离婚是一个过程,不要为了离婚而离婚,要想想以后的日子。
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
如果婚姻没有挽回的余地的话,楼主一定要争取到宝宝的监护权,千万不要把孩子给公婆!如果要打官司的话,可以先和当地的妇女保护组织联系,他们应该可以帮你暂时解决身份和住宿问题。美国的法律还是保护妇女和孩子的。
祝楼主一切顺利!
昨天我GG还和我说,他最讨厌别人在他面前说他女儿儿子如何如何,他说他儿子是他们全家得骄傲,多么优秀,居然还告诉我,他儿子考GRE考多少分来着,反正是第一名,差几分就满分了,对此,他认为他儿子是最优秀得,还问我你能说出我儿子学校得其他上海人吗?没有,就我儿子一个.
我说,就算优秀吧,是我配不上,我让出
你干嘛要迎合他呢?那又怎么样,不代表你配不上。
这种言论,你可以不回应,有时候沉默的力量是巨大的。而且,言多必失。
昨天我GG还和我说,他最讨厌别人在他面前说他女儿儿子如何如何,他说他儿子是他们全家得骄傲,多么优秀,居然还告诉我,他儿子考GRE考多少分来着,反正是第一名,差几分就满分了,对此,他认为他儿子是最优秀得,还问我你能说出我儿子学校得其他上海人吗?没有,就我儿子一个.
我说,就算优秀吧,是我配不上,我让出
凭什么你配不上啊, GRE考得高又怎么样? 你反问他清华北大每年还那么多跳楼的卖猪肉的,最近还出个范跑跑呢。 你理直气壮一点, 没有谁配不上谁。
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
你最好先问问律师。如果真要离,看你想不想让孩子再见爸爸了,如果抚养权一人一半,你躲起来听说是违法的。他有定期看望孩子的权利。如果你把抚养权都拿到,也要想好以后怎么给孩子解释这个问题。血缘这东西很奇妙,不管这个爸爸怎么伤害妈妈,一般小孩子还是对爸爸有些感情的。不能让孩子觉的是妈妈让他没有爸爸的。
说老实话, 你LG GRE考的好, 的确厉害, 他爸爸拿来炫耀, 也无可厚非. 哪个父母打心眼里觉得自己孩子差呀.
你别太较真的就是了.
事情的关键是你LG, 如果你觉得不想跟他生活下去, 那就算了, 如果光为了GGPP离婚, 而且带孩子回国, 对孩子不负责任.
单身母亲回国, 之后的困难你想过嘛? 孩子一年半载才见到父亲, 对孩子的影响是绝对不好的.
昨天我GG还和我说,他最讨厌别人在他面前说他女儿儿子如何如何,他说他儿子是他们全家得骄傲,多么优秀,居然还告诉我,他儿子考GRE考多少分来着,反正是第一名,差几分就满分了,对此,他认为他儿子是最优秀得,还问我你能说出我儿子学校得其他上海人吗?没有,就我儿子一个.
我说,就算优秀吧,是我配不上,我让出
那只是学习优秀啊,又不能证明学习好就是个好丈夫,好爸爸。
我们家得钱全部是他一个人得名字存在银行,其实也没多少钱,因为他刚工作不久.钱我真的不在乎,只要宝宝跟着我.他不给我抚养费也没关系,当然他对宝宝也没什么权利.我是想彻底离开他们这个家.
it's not ur money. It's ur baby's money. You can't make the decision for your baby.
He is the father. He has to support his own kid regardless...
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 11:59:49编辑过]
孩子带出境,很可能会需要出示另外一方的同意书,这个也要小心,你即使办了护照旅行证件,即使你有监护权,lz的lg不同意孩子出境,他可以做到的,他都可以不同意监护的一方搬家到现在居住地的多远以外去,lz不能轻易相信他同意你带走的口头承诺
至于说回国以后,有些母亲权益的保护可能还不如美国,在美国,如果祖父母去母亲那边把孩子强行带走,这个报警一定能帮你的,回国了以后就难说了,lz要小心的
是不是一定要离 需不需要做最后挽救家庭的努力
不要说气话 认真的想想
这是第一步
如果想清楚真的不想了 就是想离开
那马上找律师 或者一些组织
要在专业人士的帮助下离婚
这对你还有宝宝 都是最好的
看看mitbbs,家版最近闹的最凶的阎叫兽事件就知道了,不要在美国和他挣,一切回国再说.
@@@关键,千万别把孩子给爷爷,奶奶带,小心他们把孩子藏起来的.@@@@
回国打官司,先把孩子藏起来,然后找律师帮你打官司.
你去mitbbs.我爱我家版看看那个滕女士的帖子,当初他们签的中文协议,法院不承认,还是什么的,各州的情况好像还不一样.我也没弄明白.
即使是你lg的title.你也是可以分割一半的。
如果lz 真要做这么大的决定,最好咨询律师。
没有考古,就是看这个帖子觉得有点emotional.
提醒下。有些州是community property right.
即使是你lg的title.你也是可以分割一半的。
如果lz 真要做这么大的决定,最好咨询律师。
没有考古,就是看这个帖子觉得有点emotional.
这个共同财产是指婚后积累的,如果婚姻持续不长,婚前婚后财产,一般是要分清楚的。。。。
楼主现在一没有身份,二没有工作是很不利的。
楼主MM你老公跟他的父母现在是怎么想的呢?我觉得一定要先了解他们的想法后再做后面的打算。
如果真要离婚,不要在你还什么都没准备好时就轻易的提出来,这样对你很不利的。
这个共同财产是指婚后积累的,如果婚姻持续不长,婚前婚后财产,一般是要分清楚的。。。。
如果他们小孩都有了,算怀孕估计起码一年。那么她lg的工资应该都算共同财产了。
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 12:20:43编辑过]
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
但是mm,如果宝宝爸爸万一以后在美国用法律手段起诉你,说你不允许他探视或什么的,你真的就处于弱势,因为你宝宝是美国公民,美国法律会保护他的,尤其是个孩子。之前很多例子都是这样啊,都是说宝宝在中国的环境没有美国好,加上你在国内的收入,肯定不如宝宝爸爸有优势。这边的法庭会偏护孩子爸爸的。到那个时候,你不仅要花律师费,还要花更多精力。
与其那样,不如现在离婚就把抚养权和抚养费说清楚,最好找个律师办,你公婆都是这样的人,还是不要留着麻烦在后面。而且现在孩子11个月,盼给妈妈的机会很大。
不知道你家啥情况,乱说一句,为了孩子,既然你婆婆走了,你们2个人不能和好吗?
this is not the 1st time this mom comes to our board talking about it le
bing dong 3 chi, fei 1 ri zhi han a
我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?
lz....pls add some meili to your posts in case ur husband reads this post as well
Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year.
ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
凭什么你配不上啊, GRE考得高又怎么样? 你反问他清华北大每年还那么多跳楼的卖猪肉的,最近还出个范跑跑呢。 你理直气壮一点, 没有谁配不上谁。
你就反说:出国的多了,优秀的多了,清华北大省状元多了,第一怎么了,这年头混得好又不是读书好就成的。德智体美劳全面发展懂不懂?就一个突出,证明别的地方有缺陷。
再说了,优秀怎么了,优秀还不是娶你了,证明你比他优秀。
你就反说:出国的多了,优秀的多了,清华北大省状元多了,第一怎么了,这年头混得好又不是读书好就成的。德智体美劳全面发展懂不懂?就一个突出,证明别的地方有缺陷。
再说了,优秀怎么了,优秀还不是娶你了,证明你比他优秀。
Babytiao, you just made a good point!
你在这里没钱没身份,打官司难,要把小孩带回去也难。在国内,你有父母支持,有钱有身份,法律上也比较照顾妇女。很多事情钱和人脉就能解决问题。拖的时间久了,他们最后也没精力了。
关键,守住孩子,寸步不离。千万不要现在就签协议。要签字的一律不能签。除非有律师啊。
[此贴子已经被作者于2008-7-29 12:32:15编辑过]
有些老脑筋的老头老太,是这样想问题的,自己的儿子条件那么好,女人应该一堆一堆地由其挑选。什么妻离子散啊,只要儿子在,什么年纪想找女人还不容易,找了年轻女人,什么时候想生孩子还不容易?想要家庭,随时随地组一个不就得了?
他们把自己儿子当皇帝呢,能读个书出个国,就以为自己生了个皇帝,自己当了太上皇。
中国人不是觉得“兄弟如手足,女人如衣服”么?这种观念的公婆肯定会敦促自己儿子扔掉旧衣服,换几件好衣服,换到最漂亮最合身为止。
啊呸,以为全世界都由着他们任意挑选来着。这种人,不吃苦头不会后悔的。
这种人其实就是太监。。还随便挑呢。。谁理他们啊。。让太监的爹妈哭死去吧。。
Dont give us so easily just becuase of your mother in law. Once she is gone, your husband will gradually reazlize who is more important to him.
It is not easy to raise a child by yourself, dont divorce. wait until the child grow up, see how your husband behave.
Let somebody talk to your husband, it is you and not his mother that will accompny him through the whole life.
Keep in mind, dont divorce, for the baby, be tolerate.
My friend's GP came to US years ago and stayed with them first. They got divorced in one year.
Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year.
ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
太可怕了。
昨天我GG还和我说,他最讨厌别人在他面前说他女儿儿子如何如何,他说他儿子是他们全家得骄傲,多么优秀,居然还告诉我,他儿子考GRE考多少分来着,反正是第一名,差几分就满分了,对此,他认为他儿子是最优秀得,还问我你能说出我儿子学校得其他上海人吗?没有,就我儿子一个.
我说,就算优秀吧,是我配不上,我让出
什么学校?平顶山煤矿学院的?这种井底之蛙离了只有对你更好。。娃就是不给他们。。打死都不能给。。当然了。。先骗晕再说。。。
谢谢大家的信息
我在美国是H4也没有钱,带来的钱已经自己用得差不多了,宝宝现在11个月,非常可爱.
我之所以现在答应宝宝一人一半,我是想先稳住他,只要宝宝和我回国了,我就有优势.因为我怕他帮他父母在美国和我抢宝宝,我一没钱二没身份,怎么和他抢啊?但是我心里清楚,宝宝我是不会让他父母带得,要来带走半年得只有宝宝爸爸自己,而且我还打算回国就搬家,宝宝爸爸不会轻易回国得,他这么不容易才出得国,他们全家还指望着他呢.姐妹们,如果我回国,搬家,不让他们知道我得新住址,也不把宝宝给他们能行吗?这样算不算违反协议?宝宝爸爸会不会通过什么合法途径再和我抢宝宝呢?
你是H4,那老公肯定工作 有足够收入供你们一家生活,你在读书要交学费吗?干吗还要用你带来的钱?可见你老公可是精的很哪,和他争,你要小心,自己要留一手啊!碰到这样的公婆,也算是你命中一劫,唉
My friend's GP came to US years ago and stayed with them first. They got divorced in one year.
Then the GP went to her ex's brother's family. The brother got divorced in the next year.
ex-GP have 2 sons. Not sure if they are happy with the results.
My friend divorced his wife in US, who was a perfect wife in other's eyes. So beautiful with good personality and capable. They have a daughter. She went back China after the divorce with her baby girl. His parents stole the baby and brought her to US. The daughter hasn't seen her mom ever since. She is 15 year old I guess now? Don't ask why I make friends with this guy. We didn't know this story at the beginning. All we knew was they are a normal family with one daughter and the wife is unhappy. Now I know the wife is the second wife and was asked not to have her own baby with him.
Sorry I wish I could type chinese at work. I wrote it down, just to give LZ MM a warning. Anything could happen and there are people who are not just like us.
and other MMs have given you good suggestions here.
Good luck! I do feel sorry for you and believe you are a great mom and will make a happy family for your baby in whatever sense.
gosh, it's so sad.
我们家得钱全部是他一个人得名字存在银行,其实也没多少钱,因为他刚工作不久.钱我真的不在乎,只要宝宝跟着我.他不给我抚养费也没关系,当然他对宝宝也没什么权利.我是想彻底离开他们这个家.
什么叫没关系。。这时候千万不要逞能赌气。。该你的就是你的。一分也不能少。。就算你觉得没用你留下给娃也好。。你不要将来也是便宜别人。。要做对娃最好的。。他对宝宝是有权利的。。肯定也是有义务的。。不是你不要他尽义务他就没权利了。。是没关系。。脑子一定要清楚。。斗争才能胜利!
我们家那时候闹的情景,要不是我觉得劳工还是个可以继续过的人也早离了.
如果劳工让mm心灰意冷,那就自己带孩子自己过.孩子一定得归你,抚养费也不能少,这是你的权利也是孩子他爸的义务.孩子爷爷奶奶根本就靠边站没有说话的份.
无论如何孩子的权利你的权利要争取最大限度的,这个婚姻不是你弄散的,他们要付出代价!!!
MM,
Dont give us so easily just becuase of your mother in law. Once she is gone, your husband will gradually reazlize who is more important to him.
It is not easy to raise a child by yourself, dont divorce. wait until the child grow up, see how your husband behave.
Let somebody talk to your husband, it is you and not his mother that will accompny him through the whole life.
Keep in mind, dont divorce, for the baby, be tolerate.
这个结论太绝对了。
如果宝宝爸爸半年后不回国,我能否有权利不把宝宝给我公公婆婆带半年?
of course, they are not legal guardian.
If I were you, I would not give the baby to the father or his family at all.
nod, nod.
先不说细节问题,没事搅和拆散儿子婚姻的公婆,就没资格带孙辈.
这个结论太绝对了。
zxd,多运动,多走走,别老坐着。
zxd,多运动,多走走,别老坐着。
屋外骄阳似火,只能等天黑出去走了。跟夜游神似的。
我就在屋里窜来窜去了。
我们家得钱全部是他一个人得名字存在银行,其实也没多少钱,因为他刚工作不久.钱我真的不在乎,只要宝宝跟着我.他不给我抚养费也没关系,当然他对宝宝也没什么权利.我是想彻底离开他们这个家.
看到这里我忍不住要跳出来了。
楼主说不在乎钱,只要宝宝,不要抚养费,只想彻底离开他们家。这个在我看来太不负责任了。坚强成熟的妈妈,不管是从对自己好的角度考虑,还是对宝宝好的角度考虑,考虑离婚的时候一定要尽力争取经济上对自己的最大利益化——除非楼主娘家财大气粗,实力雄厚。我不知道楼主夫家到底有多烂,看了你公公的GRE理论,再看楼主这么痛恨,估计也够烂的了。对这种烂人家,你有什么好清高的。孩子要,抚养费也要,夫妻婚后财产也要分割。属于你的,你都得一分一分要回来。这都是将来你家宝宝成长的财政基础啊。
还有,不管你是否坚决要离婚。这个时候还是按兵不动的好。你口头托着,一切等公婆走了再说。反正只剩下两天了。这两天你小心看着宝宝和他的证件。等他们走了,再考虑一段时间,这期间你口头上向老公表明希望跟他继续,行动上也要尽力弥补两人的裂痕,心理上也尽力修补,说不定还有挽回的余地呢。但是但是,在此期间,你不要放弃寻找律师支持、离婚妈妈组织支持等信息,该转移财产的转移财产,该发掘你老公小金库的发掘小金库,所有有利于你将来打官司争取抚养权抚养费的材料证据,都要搜集。以防万一将来在努力过后还是要以离婚收场,你也不至于打无准备之仗。规划得远一点,详细些。就算将来决定了离婚,也不要强求马上离婚,马上净身出户。多讲一点谋略,讲一点长远规划。现在或许多耗费一些时间,多花点精力,但是长远看,对宝宝更好啊。看过一个谋划了很久的离婚案例。那个例子是女方很差,看上了男方的钱,生了孩子也不管,还搞婚外恋,想拿孩子要挟离婚分割财产,然后嫁给更有钱的美国人。那个男人很有心计,谋划了很久。一步一步,最后女的什么都没得到。当然,那个过程很累,需要极大的智慧和耐心,并且最后那个男人做得有点太过太绝情。我不是鼓励人人都像那个男人一样,搞得跟基督山伯爵一般 。但是,女人还是要学着保护自己和宝宝。为了自己和宝宝fight!