老板在H R面前对我的书面指控,怎么反驳。

饭饭去哪儿
楼主 (北美华人网)
昨天收到他所谓的meeting recap,真的气死了。已经在找工作了,但咽不下这口气, 如何反驳。
1. Ongoing defensiveness in response to questions or challenges. This has been perceived as a sign of mistrust and contributes to visible tension between us in group settings. You shared that my interactions with you have also felt defensive, further escalating friction, and has been noticed by others. 
2.You ask for complete honesty from me, but that level of openness hasn’t been reciprocated—and it’s starting to feel one-sided.
3. It’s hard not to notice that when I share an idea, it’s often met with hesitation—yet the same suggestion from someone else is readily accepted. When this happens repeatedly, it starts to feel like my contributions aren’t being taken seriously, and it makes me question whether you truly see me as someone you can trust to lead.
4.Role clarity - You expressed a desire to learn and develop in the xx functions, which is not a part of your role. There may be an opportunity in a year’s time.
5.As xx is not a part of your role, there is no additional bonus structure available over the current Director role. A defined bonus plan will be provided by HR when complete.
At the end of the meeting, I offered several opportunities for you to open any dialogue or share feedback, with HR present to ensure a supportive and balanced environment. You chose not to raise anything, stating that you wanted to move on. Before we wrapped up, I made it clear to you that this would be the final opportunity to revisit any unresolved issues. That offer was declined, and we agreed not to return to these matters moving forward.

2
2sigma
远离toxic ppl, 没必要跟他生气,生命短暂,你的生命不是跟这种烂人较劲的。
公用马甲40
你的role 是Director? 你老板是什么level?
饭饭去哪儿
回复 3楼 公用马甲40 的帖子
EVP
A
AprilPearl
上次你男朋友说你跟老板有一腿,限你两个月辞职 你辞了吗?
l
lazycat12345
回复 1楼 饭饭去哪儿 的帖子
是时候请病假了
A
AprilPearl
饭饭去哪儿 发表于 2025-05-03 13:52
回复 3楼 公用马甲40 的帖子
EVP

楼主你的故事好像泰国狗血网剧,一集比一集cringey
h
hhmouse
翻了翻楼主发过的贴。额。
饭饭去哪儿
lazycat12345 发表于 2025-05-03 13:59
回复 1楼 饭饭去哪儿 的帖子
是时候请病假了

我真的给他气出病来了。。 过两周去旅游,旅游完回来后我就想裸辞了
h
hushuobadao
你反驳有用吗?赶紧找新工作吧
饭饭去哪儿
hushuobadao 发表于 2025-05-03 14:03
你反驳有用吗?赶紧找新工作吧

说实在感觉很burnout,不想马上又打工
l
lazycat12345
饭饭去哪儿 发表于 2025-05-03 14:03
我真的给他气出病来了。。 过两周去旅游,旅游完回来后我就想裸辞了

std一请,躺六个月
l
lianzi
你老板写的东西有理有据,非常清晰。你也需要用同样的风格,一条一条地反驳。到了这一步,赶紧看心理医生,请病假吧
C
Constant_sorrow
饭饭去哪儿
lianzi 发表于 2025-05-03 14:18
你老板写的东西有理有据,非常清晰。你也需要用同样的风格,一条一条地反驳。到了这一步,赶紧看心理医生,请病假吧

请病假的意义是?
饭饭去哪儿
Constant_sorrow 发表于 2025-05-03 14:21

我觉得他就是想我一条条反驳,这就中了他说我defensive的坑。
饭饭去哪儿
lianzi 发表于 2025-05-03 14:18
你老板写的东西有理有据,非常清晰。你也需要用同样的风格,一条一条地反驳。到了这一步,赶紧看心理医生,请病假吧

我打算回复
I acknowledge receipt of the document. Following our recent meeting, I’ve taken time to reflect and want to reaffirm my commitment to supporting the team and its goals.
Regarding the comments outlined, based on my records and understanding, some aspects do not align with my experience and recollection of the events. For context, I was promoted just three weeks ago after leadership evaluations. Although the promotion announcement was delayed after I raised concerns about the way you communicate with me, I believe the promotion itself reflects the performance I have consistently demonstrated, and I remain grateful for the trust leadership has placed in me.
Throughout our work together, I’ve made a consistent effort to keep you informed and be transparent in my communication—whether through email updates, texts, shared documents, or direct check-ins. In contrast, I’ve experienced recurring gaps in visibility on your end, including not being looped into meetings or copied on important delivery emails. This has led to confusion and unnecessary workflow challenges that could have been avoided with clearer coordination. My goal is to foster better alignment and collaboration going forward.
I remain open to continuing a constructive dialogue and welcome any future conversations that help strengthen mutual understanding and improve the way we work together. My focus remains on contributing meaningfully to the team and delivering strong outcomes.

c
colbenny
你觉得你老板的老板是站你还是站你老板?
C
Constant_sorrow
回复 16楼 饭饭去哪儿 的帖子
Ai跟人一样,最重要的话都最后说。找工作吧,既然跟老板不愉快了,吵不赢的
饭饭去哪儿
colbenny 发表于 2025-05-03 14:29
你觉得你老板的老板是站你还是站你老板?

本来这件事没发生我都已经是打算一升职就走。他这么搞我咽不下这口气。。
饭饭去哪儿
Constant_sorrow 发表于 2025-05-03 14:32
回复 16楼 饭饭去哪儿 的帖子
Ai跟人一样,最重要的话都最后说。找工作吧,既然跟老板不愉快了,吵不赢的

我想裸辞
C
Constant_sorrow
回复 21楼 饭饭去哪儿 的帖子
有钱的话倒是可以。不过看他着就架势,就算你不裸辞可能也会被炒鱿鱼了
饭饭去哪儿
回复 22楼 Constant_sorrow 的帖子
他这个不是明摆着retaliation
O
Oregon_Farmer
饭饭去哪儿 发表于 2025-05-03 14:46
回复 22楼 Constant_sorrow 的帖子
他这个不是明摆着retaliation

此处不留姐,自有留姐处! 赶紧找下家!!!
H
Hesterhql
FMLA一休
z
zoelee
不是他给你升值的吗?
s
sportcar
看看有没有歧试,受法律保护
b
birdsofparadise
2sigma 发表于 2025-05-03 13:46
远离toxic ppl, 没必要跟他生气,生命短暂,你的生命不是跟这种烂人较劲的。

你搜一下她的帖子吧,她不是来求安慰的
g
gandofman
能问问你挣多少么。
饭饭去哪儿
zoelee 发表于 2025-05-03 15:40
不是他给你升值的吗?

是啊,所以说他有病
N
NotSweetTooth
The intent of your boss''s letter is to protect himself and the company in the event of a lawsuit from you. In particular, the last sentence called out the solution agreed upon by both parties. Your response actually supports nothing but what has been summarized in his statement.
Your read on the situation is - this is likely a PIP letter and about performance.... Actually his letter is more about what he has done in terms of addressing your concerns and complaints (role and compensation expectations from you etc). In summary, his conclusion is that he or the business/company cannot meet your expectations so he has to set the records straight with HR.
I know this is not how you feel about this letter to HR... If you want to resign, sending the drafted response you currently have is likely not going to help you, as it provides additional contexts in written form on the communication gap issue between him and you. Clearly wires are crossed...
Just my take on this situation...may not be right
人在它乡
看样子你也是做到了D level, 看样子大概率要走人,挺可惜的。上级安排的任务,必须要:好好好,是是是地去做,按照领导认为正确的方法去完成,而不是你认为正确的方法,即便你是对的。接受这个教训,move on 吧。工作中让领导高兴是头等大事。
h
happylife999
饭饭去哪儿 发表于 2025-05-03 14:46
回复 22楼 Constant_sorrow 的帖子
他这个不是明摆着retaliation

Retaliation是你report to HR about him然后被炒, 现在反过来,怎麽个retaliation法?
h
happylife999
Hesterhql 发表于 2025-05-03 15:32
FMLA一休

FMLA本身没有工资,要病休公司得批才行。
幸运之神
抱抱。我这几个月来经历了一眼的痛苦。烙印男经理,油盐不进、又犟又烂。 求职了几个月无果。但有时候转机就在一瞬间。内部有个职位突然就两天搞定,措不及防。旅游回来就来了。是时候去放个小短假,也许回来就有惊喜(前提是你多投一些简历,然后扔那儿等消息。)
h
happylife999
回复 35楼 幸运之神 的帖子
难怪笔名叫幸运之神😂,真的不一样。
h
hq50
这都非常subjective....
幸运之神
happylife999 发表于 2025-05-03 21:43
回复 35楼 幸运之神 的帖子
难怪笔名叫幸运之神😂,真的不一样。

借你吉言!也希望lz有好的新道路。幸亏几年前给自己找了这么个ID。
c
catsanddogs
饭饭去哪儿 发表于 2025-05-03 14:28
我打算回复
I acknowledge receipt of the document. Following our recent meeting, I’ve taken time to reflect and want to reaffirm my commitment to supporting the team and its goals.
Regarding the comments outlined, based on my records and understanding, some aspects do not align with my experience and recollection of the events. For context, I was promoted just three weeks ago after leadership evaluations. Although the promotion announcement was delayed after I raised concerns about the way you communicate with me, I believe the promotion itself reflects the performance I have consistently demonstrated, and I remain grateful for the trust leadership has placed in me.
Throughout our work together, I’ve made a consistent effort to keep you informed and be transparent in my communication—whether through email updates, texts, shared documents, or direct check-ins. In contrast, I’ve experienced recurring gaps in visibility on your end, including not being looped into meetings or copied on important delivery emails. This has led to confusion and unnecessary workflow challenges that could have been avoided with clearer coordination. My goal is to foster better alignment and collaboration going forward.
I remain open to continuing a constructive dialogue and welcome any future conversations that help strengthen mutual understanding and improve the way we work together. My focus remains on contributing meaningfully to the team and delivering strong outcomes.


This is a bad reply. You basically confirmed what your boss said.
l
lilacjj
lianzi 发表于 2025-05-03 14:18
你老板写的东西有理有据,非常清晰。你也需要用同样的风格,一条一条地反驳。到了这一步,赶紧看心理医生,请病假吧

你管这个叫有理有据条理清晰? 我怎么觉得带着强烈感情色彩,像小媳妇耍性子,很不专业
雁字回时
这俩人相爱相杀