Field Day之类的活动往往是孩子最开心的时候，和同伴们建立感情，增强社交，一起做事情一起玩。如果你觉得这些没啥意义，那确实就不太适合私校，不要去了。 假期长是因为学生除了课堂，还有其他的一些活动。比如春假的时候，Varsity team会在赛季开始之前集中训练，甚至有些要去外地训练；学校也会有一些义工类的或者语言交流类的项目，学生可以报名参加。
I teach at another independent school, not HW but similar. The amount of competition between the students is out of control, on top of the amount of the expectations and stress the parents put on them. There is the expectation that once you get into the school it’s a track to the Ivy League and success later in life, and there’s not the space to make huge mistakes and recover which is so crucial in their middle and high school years. 761 I've tutored well over a hundred HW students over the last ~8 years, and I can confirm-- these kids are absolutely a frayed nerve when it comes to the expectations they've been taught to put upon themselves since birth. When you combine an insane workload, guidance counselors who only allow a select number of students to submit application to the most elite colllege (gotta keep the school's acceptance rate as high as possible, after all!), and the environment where all of these stressed-out overachievers are all in the same space at the same time lobbying for the same accolades? It's a brutal, brutal situation that can definitely wear away a student's mental health to tragic results. 243 I'm a product of schools like this (not HW, but something similar on the East Coast). They don't explicitly tell you, "You can't apply to that school." They just make it clear that it "isn't for you." Things like, "Well, Tom and Sally from your class have applied there and are very likely to get in, and that school never takes more than two of our alumni per year, so it's better to focus your effort elsewhere." It's a mindfuck. 192 I'm so glad I went to my normy public school, Christ this all sounds terrible and depressing 102 Well, private school definitely does have its upside! Smaller classes, lots of academic and extracurricular paths to pursue, all kinds of opportunities, etc. But the pressure and competition are very real. My class in high school didn't have a class ranking. Private schools almost never do, because if you have a class ranking, only one student can be first in his/her class. But I was ranked 11th. Nobody in the administration ever said anything, but we all knew where we stood. Even today, 25 years later, I could tell you who the 10 kids ahead of me were. Thankfully, one of them was and remains my closest friend. 50 My son’s private high school, on par academically with HW, stopped having a valedictorian a few years after he was. But they have all kinds of awards for athletes. Funny because they aren’t known for their athletics. 19 This is exactly it. I went to a HW-esque school in a different state, and there was so much gate-keeping and status-reinforcing going on via guidance counselors and teachers. I got the "you're not Stanford material" line, and was re-directed to apply to quirky small liberal arts colleges, despite my test scores and grades. (To be fair, I ignored the counselor and did apply to Stanford, and didn't get in, so I suppose the counselor was right.) I have a friend who went to HW (long time ago), and even back then, from what he describes, it was a stress-fest. His parents were first-gen immigrants, so they really dialed up the heat to do well in school. I bet that's true for other HW'ers as well. 23 I got into two Ivy League schools, and opted not to go there in favor of a small school in California (not Stanford! I applied and didn't get in there either!). The pressure I got to go to the big name schools instead (to boost my high school's numbers) was crazy. The headmaster called me into his office, etc. 20 had pretty much the same experience as you but i did get into the ivy league school my counselor assured me i would NEVER get into (and i should apply to SUNY purchase or whatever.) it was absolutely delicious when i got in and he wanted to post my acceptance letter on the bulletin board outside his office and i just gave him a blank look and walked away. 14 They tell students not to apply to certain schools if they think the student is unlikely to get in, so it's not exactly a binding thing-- it's more of a strong discouraging. But the parents hang on every word of these guidance counselors, and, yes, if the student is in need of a rec letter from a guidance counselor or dean, they are desperate to keep said guidance counselor or dean happy. So even though they are of course able to apply without the school's approval, the environment that the school creates means it's very unlikely the student will be confident enough to actually do so. I should also clarify that I don't know every guidance counselor-- so it's possible that not every counselor presently working at HW does this. But I absolutely have had several students at HW who were in this exact situation. 13 It doesn't only happen to college applications, it happens to private middle/high school applications as well. One private k-8 school in Pasadena refused my neighbor's son's request of applying for Harvard westlake. They got upset and moved to east coast and applied for those elite boarding schools next year which are way better than HW and got accepted. Ironically, their former school put this placement as their school's work to show around. 9 It isn't illegal but a high school that does this can get in trouble with the universities. When I was applying to college my math teacher refused to recommend me to Caltech so I didn't apply. I was well qualified for the school and when Caltech admissions found out about it they raised holy hell with my high school and offered me a spot in their incoming freshman class anyways. 6 Yep and it starts in preschool. I used to work in the bougie elite westside preschool circuit as an assistant teacher and MY GOD. First the parents are desperate to get their kid into the best preschool. That starts before 1yr old with parent and me baby classes that give parents a chance to rub elbows and put on a show. You got one of the 8 spots available to 376 applicants? Great, you can chill for a bit, but make sure your 2-4 yr old is taking enrichment classes and doing play dates with the right people because the next step is kindergarten. Kindergarten involves lengthy applications, letters of rec, interviews of both parents, and an individual interview of the kid including a test run in the classroom. Little Cyril better not fuck it up or be in a grumpy mood that day either because god knows if he doesn’t get into a prestigious K-8, he’s never getting into a top HS like Harvard Westlake and he can say GOODBYE to Yale, success, and happiness forever. 12 That's what happened to me - had a 4.7 GPA with great extra curriculars. Got into top schools, decided to go to a UC to save money. Completely bombed my degree and could barely get C's and B's in classes. I was so over school I hated every second of the testing and grades (did love learning my degree subject matter to be fair) . Graduated with a 2.8 and have pretty much given up on finding work in my field 3 years out of school. Going to be a first responder and will be making 6 figures anyway but it wasn't my dream (wanted to go to grad school for aerospace engineering). Maybe I'll come back to it later... 40
I've heard (from Ivy people) that this is one of the reasons Ivy's stopped emphasizing scores and what not that various groups have been bitching about. Yeah, you got a perfect SAT and perfect grades and play at a concert level classical instrument, but that's what you get when you have tiger parents who are on your ass 24/7. Used to be that these were indicators that the kid wanted to do this stuff and sought it out because they were intellectually curious and would continue searching for that fulfillment the rest of their lives in whatever field they found themselves in. The tiger kids? No idea what they want to do except "get into Ivy" except maybe "mom says I have to go pre-med." and burn out in school quickly, mostly because they were already burned out before they even got there... 52 They’re burnt out because they’re being exploited and abused 38 It may not be all attributable to social media but I think it's about as close to all as you can get. Being a teen living with the perception that the entire school, city, country could be watching (both purposely through your posting or accidentally through someone else calling you out) at all times is not the type of pressure humans are equipped to deal with. Add to that the culture people have created of extreme social shaming for anything you might do present and past, that teens themselves perpetuate like some new social McCarthyism. Then finally culture blurs the line between accepting and promoting having mental illness. It's a triple threat of pressure. Literal children (let alone adults) are not equipped to handle it. I'd go so far as to say the academic effects are not from academic causes. It's social media causes bleeding into all other aspects of life. 52 I did some of my training at Yale (internal medicine). It affected my mental health for years. I still think about some of the patients. Constantly witnesses codes and sick people who can’t see their families bc they’re high risk. Then add the physicians and professors who offered no support for the students but also they were absolutely mean to the students. After working 7am to 5pm straight everyday with no lunch breaks and not even allowed to get sips of water (unless it was a designated time), i had a 65 year old chief physician tell me “that medicine is way more complicated than I’ll ever comprehend” in front of all my peers and in front of a patients room. I found myself with an eating disorder, insomnia and severe anxiety and finally I was standing at the top of a 30 story building ready to end it all. I still struggle with eating bc of my experiences at Yale. There were so many days I barely made it through clinic without fainting. I remember one time my attending was talking to me and I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. My vision was so blurry and I remember just praying I wouldn’t pass out bc I knew I’d get in trouble for it. I called my school advisor everyday that week on my way to clinic telling him how badly this was affecting me, and he basically told me to toughen up. Schools put way too much pressure and competition on students… I did meet some cute drs tho haha 3 These students have been SO brainwashed - the whole culture is brainwashed by these elite schools it’s a cult 22Hello! My name's Kyler--I currently attend HW. Some of my friends were really close with one of the students who committed suicide last year. For the sake of privacy, I don't want to get into specifics but I believe the primary reason for what happened last year was the stress HW brings. Many people applying to HW don't necessarily realize HOW much work is required, and how much of a jump the 9th and 11th grades are. You're with hundreds of other students who work hard, and there's a bar to be met. But there's an aspect to this environment that makes it difficult to talk about your personal needs/life. You can fall behind quickly, and it's hard to bounce back. In seminar classes, we're asked to share anything that we might feel is necessary to share, or that we need advice on. But most of us--if not all of us don't speak up in seminars. This year, our administration has made a lot of changes to support our mental health--hopefully, things will be better this year. I apologize if this all sounded like mumbo jumbo... 635 My partner works in student health at a prestigious university. According to her there are many, many undergraduates these days who have achieved so much before they've graduated high school that they arrive on campus already burned out. So they quit all the activities and leadership roles that won them admission in the first place. Then they become lost and without direction, finally questioning what all that sun up-to-sundown work during high school was really for. Most right themselves and find a balance, but some just spiral downwards and sometimes do not receive much understanding from their parents (who often are paying out the nose for the elite education). Very different than my day as a GenXer. 127 Thank you. I'm so sorry you all are going through this. As a parent of a 17 boy who is in private school in the southeast, I worry about the pressure he's under. We don't mean to add to it either, we just want to give him a good education. I've noticed it's the other students pressuring each other and I hate it. He's very non competitive and struggles and has a difficult time sharing his feelings. He's stuck in a fixed mindset at the moment and doesn't like making mistakes. Sorry if this was TMI. We love him so much. I hope you all get some counseling and healing. 39 https://www.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/comments/16rsdpl/whats_happening_at_harvard_westlake_cw_suicides/
楼主要是知道我这样一年交出去十几万学费，俩娃两点多下课以后到八九点钟忙到飞起没时间学习是不是觉得特别不可思议。 实际上他们学校就是这样，三点钟课程结束必须参加各种各样体育活动，吃完晚饭又开始各种club，club结束了休息一会才开始学习。
钱足够多，那就无所谓了
community day，field trip day 这些都算私立的优势 你现在还没交钱 就不满的话， 真的不要去了。
“吃完晚饭又开始各种club” 这是自己找的 还是学校的？
学生自己组织的ec呀，一百多个club或者interest group，跳舞唱歌机器人辩论模拟法庭学生会校报数竞应有尽有 估计在大部分家长看来都是不务正业，偶尔我也这么想
“培养孩子的品格。。。是教育的目的”。
Field Day之类的活动往往是孩子最开心的时候，和同伴们建立感情，增强社交，一起做事情一起玩。如果你觉得这些没啥意义，那确实就不太适合私校，不要去了。 假期长是因为学生除了课堂，还有其他的一些活动。比如春假的时候，Varsity team会在赛季开始之前集中训练，甚至有些要去外地训练；学校也会有一些义工类的或者语言交流类的项目，学生可以报名参加。
一般中产是会纠结性价比 但是像楼主这样纠结纯性能的还基本没见过 真要读私校，家庭观念和学校理念，同学的家庭的l三观差异太大了，还要花钱给看不懂的事情买单 在公校当王者不香吗
私校是不是保证喝酒不会死？ 哈佛西湖死了三个咋回事？
楼主这样的明显不是私校的目标客户，真的没必要再纠结，就去公校好了，又省钱又心安。
如果不是自推娃 并且容易受环境影响 那么选学校就是选环境
大学也一样。自推喜欢卷的 去卷校 top 5不知道是不是都卷 但估计聪明娃太多 估计肯定不轻松。
之前Rice帖学到的 社牛娃去duke,社恐娃去rice
估计每个学校都有自己的特点 不是光看个排名那么简单的。大学是人生最美好的几年 还是要找个适合娃的学校 不要太toxic环境的。高中也是一样。这些都会对孩子的人生观世界观价值观产生影响。我曾经听过一些割喉高中或者顶级高中那些人精娃们的勾心斗角 我是不希望娃在这样的环境中度过青春期的。
I've tutored well over a hundred HW students over the last ~8 years, and I can confirm-- these kids are absolutely a frayed nerve when it comes to the expectations they've been taught to put upon themselves since birth. When you combine an insane workload, guidance counselors who only allow a select number of students to submit application to the most elite colllege (gotta keep the school's acceptance rate as high as possible, after all!), and the environment where all of these stressed-out overachievers are all in the same space at the same time lobbying for the same accolades? It's a brutal, brutal situation that can definitely wear away a student's mental health to tragic results.
243
I'm a product of schools like this (not HW, but something similar on the East Coast). They don't explicitly tell you, "You can't apply to that school." They just make it clear that it "isn't for you." Things like, "Well, Tom and Sally from your class have applied there and are very likely to get in, and that school never takes more than two of our alumni per year, so it's better to focus your effort elsewhere." It's a mindfuck.
192
I'm so glad I went to my normy public school, Christ this all sounds terrible and depressing
102
Well, private school definitely does have its upside! Smaller classes, lots of academic and extracurricular paths to pursue, all kinds of opportunities, etc. But the pressure and competition are very real. My class in high school didn't have a class ranking. Private schools almost never do, because if you have a class ranking, only one student can be first in his/her class. But I was ranked 11th. Nobody in the administration ever said anything, but we all knew where we stood. Even today, 25 years later, I could tell you who the 10 kids ahead of me were. Thankfully, one of them was and remains my closest friend.
50 My son’s private high school, on par academically with HW, stopped having a valedictorian a few years after he was. But they have all kinds of awards for athletes. Funny because they aren’t known for their athletics.
19
This is exactly it. I went to a HW-esque school in a different state, and there was so much gate-keeping and status-reinforcing going on via guidance counselors and teachers. I got the "you're not Stanford material" line, and was re-directed to apply to quirky small liberal arts colleges, despite my test scores and grades. (To be fair, I ignored the counselor and did apply to Stanford, and didn't get in, so I suppose the counselor was right.) I have a friend who went to HW (long time ago), and even back then, from what he describes, it was a stress-fest. His parents were first-gen immigrants, so they really dialed up the heat to do well in school. I bet that's true for other HW'ers as well.
23 I got into two Ivy League schools, and opted not to go there in favor of a small school in California (not Stanford! I applied and didn't get in there either!). The pressure I got to go to the big name schools instead (to boost my high school's numbers) was crazy. The headmaster called me into his office, etc.
20
had pretty much the same experience as you but i did get into the ivy league school my counselor assured me i would NEVER get into (and i should apply to SUNY purchase or whatever.) it was absolutely delicious when i got in and he wanted to post my acceptance letter on the bulletin board outside his office and i just gave him a blank look and walked away.
14
They tell students not to apply to certain schools if they think the student is unlikely to get in, so it's not exactly a binding thing-- it's more of a strong discouraging. But the parents hang on every word of these guidance counselors, and, yes, if the student is in need of a rec letter from a guidance counselor or dean, they are desperate to keep said guidance counselor or dean happy. So even though they are of course able to apply without the school's approval, the environment that the school creates means it's very unlikely the student will be confident enough to actually do so. I should also clarify that I don't know every guidance counselor-- so it's possible that not every counselor presently working at HW does this. But I absolutely have had several students at HW who were in this exact situation.
13 It doesn't only happen to college applications, it happens to private middle/high school applications as well. One private k-8 school in Pasadena refused my neighbor's son's request of applying for Harvard westlake. They got upset and moved to east coast and applied for those elite boarding schools next year which are way better than HW and got accepted. Ironically, their former school put this placement as their school's work to show around.
9
It isn't illegal but a high school that does this can get in trouble with the universities. When I was applying to college my math teacher refused to recommend me to Caltech so I didn't apply. I was well qualified for the school and when Caltech admissions found out about it they raised holy hell with my high school and offered me a spot in their incoming freshman class anyways.
6
Yep and it starts in preschool. I used to work in the bougie elite westside preschool circuit as an assistant teacher and MY GOD. First the parents are desperate to get their kid into the best preschool. That starts before 1yr old with parent and me baby classes that give parents a chance to rub elbows and put on a show. You got one of the 8 spots available to 376 applicants? Great, you can chill for a bit, but make sure your 2-4 yr old is taking enrichment classes and doing play dates with the right people because the next step is kindergarten. Kindergarten involves lengthy applications, letters of rec, interviews of both parents, and an individual interview of the kid including a test run in the classroom. Little Cyril better not fuck it up or be in a grumpy mood that day either because god knows if he doesn’t get into a prestigious K-8, he’s never getting into a top HS like Harvard Westlake and he can say GOODBYE to Yale, success, and happiness forever.
12 That's what happened to me - had a 4.7 GPA with great extra curriculars. Got into top schools, decided to go to a UC to save money. Completely bombed my degree and could barely get C's and B's in classes. I was so over school I hated every second of the testing and grades (did love learning my degree subject matter to be fair) . Graduated with a 2.8 and have pretty much given up on finding work in my field 3 years out of school. Going to be a first responder and will be making 6 figures anyway but it wasn't my dream (wanted to go to grad school for aerospace engineering). Maybe I'll come back to it later...
40
I've heard (from Ivy people) that this is one of the reasons Ivy's stopped emphasizing scores and what not that various groups have been bitching about. Yeah, you got a perfect SAT and perfect grades and play at a concert level classical instrument, but that's what you get when you have tiger parents who are on your ass 24/7. Used to be that these were indicators that the kid wanted to do this stuff and sought it out because they were intellectually curious and would continue searching for that fulfillment the rest of their lives in whatever field they found themselves in. The tiger kids? No idea what they want to do except "get into Ivy" except maybe "mom says I have to go pre-med." and burn out in school quickly, mostly because they were already burned out before they even got there...
52 They’re burnt out because they’re being exploited and abused
38
It may not be all attributable to social media but I think it's about as close to all as you can get. Being a teen living with the perception that the entire school, city, country could be watching (both purposely through your posting or accidentally through someone else calling you out) at all times is not the type of pressure humans are equipped to deal with. Add to that the culture people have created of extreme social shaming for anything you might do present and past, that teens themselves perpetuate like some new social McCarthyism. Then finally culture blurs the line between accepting and promoting having mental illness. It's a triple threat of pressure. Literal children (let alone adults) are not equipped to handle it. I'd go so far as to say the academic effects are not from academic causes. It's social media causes bleeding into all other aspects of life.
52 I did some of my training at Yale (internal medicine). It affected my mental health for years. I still think about some of the patients. Constantly witnesses codes and sick people who can’t see their families bc they’re high risk. Then add the physicians and professors who offered no support for the students but also they were absolutely mean to the students. After working 7am to 5pm straight everyday with no lunch breaks and not even allowed to get sips of water (unless it was a designated time), i had a 65 year old chief physician tell me “that medicine is way more complicated than I’ll ever comprehend” in front of all my peers and in front of a patients room. I found myself with an eating disorder, insomnia and severe anxiety and finally I was standing at the top of a 30 story building ready to end it all. I still struggle with eating bc of my experiences at Yale. There were so many days I barely made it through clinic without fainting. I remember one time my attending was talking to me and I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. My vision was so blurry and I remember just praying I wouldn’t pass out bc I knew I’d get in trouble for it. I called my school advisor everyday that week on my way to clinic telling him how badly this was affecting me, and he basically told me to toughen up. Schools put way too much pressure and competition on students… I did meet some cute drs tho haha
3
These students have been SO brainwashed - the whole culture is brainwashed by these elite schools it’s a cult
22 Hello! My name's Kyler--I currently attend HW. Some of my friends were really close with one of the students who committed suicide last year. For the sake of privacy, I don't want to get into specifics but I believe the primary reason for what happened last year was the stress HW brings. Many people applying to HW don't necessarily realize HOW much work is required, and how much of a jump the 9th and 11th grades are. You're with hundreds of other students who work hard, and there's a bar to be met. But there's an aspect to this environment that makes it difficult to talk about your personal needs/life. You can fall behind quickly, and it's hard to bounce back. In seminar classes, we're asked to share anything that we might feel is necessary to share, or that we need advice on. But most of us--if not all of us don't speak up in seminars. This year, our administration has made a lot of changes to support our mental health--hopefully, things will be better this year. I apologize if this all sounded like mumbo jumbo...
635 My partner works in student health at a prestigious university. According to her there are many, many undergraduates these days who have achieved so much before they've graduated high school that they arrive on campus already burned out. So they quit all the activities and leadership roles that won them admission in the first place. Then they become lost and without direction, finally questioning what all that sun up-to-sundown work during high school was really for. Most right themselves and find a balance, but some just spiral downwards and sometimes do not receive much understanding from their parents (who often are paying out the nose for the elite education). Very different than my day as a GenXer.
127
Thank you. I'm so sorry you all are going through this. As a parent of a 17 boy who is in private school in the southeast, I worry about the pressure he's under. We don't mean to add to it either, we just want to give him a good education. I've noticed it's the other students pressuring each other and I hate it. He's very non competitive and struggles and has a difficult time sharing his feelings. He's stuck in a fixed mindset at the moment and doesn't like making mistakes. Sorry if this was TMI. We love him so much. I hope you all get some counseling and healing.
39
https://www.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/comments/16rsdpl/whats_happening_at_harvard_westlake_cw_suicides/
卷是我家所在的印中学区的现状，不是我们本身多想卷
大家大多数人都参加过高考，华人上很多清北985/211都是曾经的卷王呢
为看得懂的事情买单就行了。 我觉得楼主要是花钱请名教练搞学术竞赛和文体competition这些估计就没有那么多顾虑。 那就把钱花在这上面。
"其实适合自己的才是最好的。"--
这个“自己”是家长还是娃？
小孩听到肯定开心，我们大人的问题就是动不动不上学搞这些，传统想法小孩这个年龄不应该好好学习嘛。
我们算了下两个小孩送完私校和大学是可以供得起的，但是要知道中学每年拿出80K给他们到底能给他们带来什么好处。我是美本美博，都是公立。之前帖子里提到过我们有亲戚小孩在这边，亲外甥女，在她像我女儿这么大的时候，我和队友带着她从东部开车玩到西部，当时她就在人大附上学。前几页帖子里讲的国内高中的活动，去南极科考，柬埔寨助学，还有MIT暑期项目都搞过，也在美国读过私高。我的感觉是她高中阶段学的很少，但大学学习还不错（GPA几乎满分）。但是大学毕业家长未必可以撒手的，去年她坚定的申请了冷门专业PhD，申请上了决定不去，来我们身边私校读master，这是个好孩子，但为了快乐教育背后是家长多年支持。
现在差不多每个月去和外甥女吃一顿饭，之前离得远她假期过来。会和她聊聊人生打算，我觉得我是个负责的舅妈。小孩性格不错，成绩很好，小姐俩经常在一起，我女儿成绩也不错，比姐姐好强。但是她性格好落落大方好像也不是因为避开了高考的竞争，因为她10岁之前我就认识，看着她长大的。所以结论可能就是我娃姑姑给孩子创造了一个快乐成长的环境，没怎么吃过苦，学业完成的不错，可以放心让她自己步入社会了。
K-12要适合家长和娃，因为家长的参与度也很大而且孩子受家长的影响也很大。 大学只要适合娃就可以，当然财务上要适合家长。
当然是娃啊 家长最清楚娃的个性 这才是应该关注的点 而不是只看排名。去了一个不合适的学校 会很痛苦的。比如不喜欢卷的去了割喉大学割喉专业 以及就喜欢竞争的去了比较 layback的环境
其实如果能有个良性竞争的环境最好。这个可能需要去看看niche的review.
还有 本科和研究生 真的关注的点不一样。比如ucb 真的就是对本科生不咋样的 但是研究水平高 适合研究生去。
你说的对
我女儿喜欢的课外活动我们都全力支持了。以前钢琴老师是本地很好的，不便宜。现在游泳多，每个赛季家长要求7分志愿者，每一分需要3-4小时，我们家做了17个，而且我是她的组room parent，我们组的活动搞得比较出彩，每个月疯玩一次，教练和家长评价很高。我花的经历很多，也是为了自己的孩子融入这个群组，交到好朋友。队友考了裁判证，像最近10U sectional志愿者不够我们家分数已经远超了，还一起去当了两天的志愿者。
楼主我觉得你不适合私立 把名额让给在waiting list上的孩子吧
一般是家长。。很多时候难受的是家长，娃自己挺好的，但是能被家长带难受了
如果你在考虑性价比，那就去公立，即便你很有钱。如果你愿意为了孩子付出一切，即便把钱扔到水里，你就去私立。我认识的送娃去私立的妈妈都是这么说的：我就是愿意把钱花在孩子身上，我自己怎样无所谓。而公立的妈妈大多是优先考虑自己的。
我是说中学，大学是另外一回事了。
你这些考量都没错，上私校意味着每年都有这一笔固定支出，后面还有上大学的费用，一旦家庭经济有一点风吹草动，这笔开支的压力就会很大。所以认真分析，谨慎对待，不要盲目跟风，这都没错。 选择学校从表面上看，是选择某种教育；但从实质上看，我觉得，是选择如何度过你的青少年时代。毕竟孩子的大部分时间是在学校度过，你结交的朋友，上的课，参加的活动，甚至在食堂吃的饭…这些时间构建了你的生活，塑造了“你”这个个体，并且对你的未来产生深远的影响。所以从这个角度来说，没法回答“私校能给孩子带来什么好处”这个问题。就像你的外甥女，她也可以选择高考路线，大概率也很不错，但她就不是现在的这个她了，性格、行事风格、气质、观念可能都截然不同。 但你可以问问，为什么不愿意留在现在的公校系统？据我了解的大概有以下几种： 学区公校太卷，卷不动了； 学区公校太卷，孩子各方面都可以，但觉得没必要参与这种无意义的卷； 对学区公校的课程设置不满意，希望有更多选择/更高阶的课程/某些小众课程/更灵活的选课体系…等等； 对学区公校的师资不满意（老师/康嫂/行政人员等等）； 对学区公校的升学情况不满意； 碰到某些事情，对学区的处理情况不满意； 孩子社交方面的问题； 学校很好，但是孩子不太适合… … 大多数家庭是从对公校不满意开始考虑私校的，每个家庭的情况都不一样。也有不考虑公校，从K开始就进私校的，这种家庭一般都是理念上更认可私校，或者这家私校太热门，K申请容易一些。 如果你对公校很满意，那真的就留在公校好了。
首先就算不考虑钱也不是私立永远就比公立好 就更适合自己孩子 其次很多选择公立的会说钱存下来给孩子未来买房子或者上医学院啥的 也不等于选择公立就等于花自己身上不给孩子花
送个私立还送出我最伟大的优越感来了真没必要
我家五年级，可以讲讲为什么心态变了呢？因为高中太辛苦，觉得应该进一个匹配得上这份努力的学校？钱反而不是考量？