reddit 上刷到一个挺热闹的帖子，是老外谈自己和中国女人的婚姻的帖子，这个帖子下面引发了比较热烈的讨论和跟帖回复。挺有意思的，分享出来大家茶余饭后看看。 （感兴趣的可以戳链接 https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/13sodi8/chinese_girlswomen/） 发帖的老外描写了自己从结识中国女友结婚一直到婚姻失败的过程。下面是正文： 多年以前老外结识这位中国女孩儿交往起来，觉得她亲和可爱聪明，于是他们结婚了，并生了个孩子。 婚后老外逐渐发觉中国妻子开始表现出控制欲，甚至提出一些极端要求（demanded something extreme），不过他也没太在意。 慢慢地，他的妻子主宰了（dominated）他的生活包括：穿衣吃饭，社交，甚至阻止他和父母家人联系（原文：even made me cut out family members, including my dying father.）。 之后他的妻子表现得更加情绪化，甚至对他表现出暴力倾向（原文：I couldn't bring it up; she'd just block me, become either non-emotional or over-the-top emotional. She even hit me, several times. ）。 然后老外就去寻求心理治疗（relationship therapy）了，事情似乎进入了一种死循环（原文：everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy.）。 他的妻子开走了他的车并和他分居了，并且起诉离婚要求得到孩子抚养权，理由是说这个老外 "dangerously unhinged" 和 "violent"。 就在他妻子起诉要求孩子抚养权的同时，老外在心理治疗中被确诊 PTSD 和 narcissistic victim syndrome。 老外的治疗师建议他参加了一个由22名男性 "narcissistic victim" 患者组成的康复小组，结果他发现其中19个男性有过中国妻子或女朋友。这个老外还尝试联系了一些同样和中国女人结婚的男性，一些也正在为孩子抚养权的问题斗争（in custody battles），并且发现其中已经有一名男性自杀了（原文：Number seven killed himself a few months back, when he lost his house, child, and job.）。
最后老外感慨说：the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum.
天哪，跟网上控诉父母一辈好相似。有几处居然看笑了： everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy。
天哪，跟网上控诉父母一辈好相似。有几处居然看笑了： everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy。 sssccc 发表于 2023-06-23 17:49
这是哪位华人大妈，把华女全贬低了一遍，这比法轮学员申请政治庇护都激烈。我的问题是为啥老有中国人跳出来总结中国人咋不好，最后说自己是个特例，这不是oxymoron 吗？ I am a woman so I can’t speak of the romantic side of your relationship. However, as a Chinese girl I always feel like having trouble maintaining friendship with girls who are also Chinese which made me question myself a lot. The moment I stopped to question myself was when I realized the fact that Chinese women are such unanimously aggressive, hateful, abusive and competitive creature because most of them come from a toxic environment, China, where women are trained to be submissive and subordinate so that they are always oppressed when growing up. So they are always desperate to grab someone to exert their power and thoughts so that they feel existed, aka narcissist. Probably it’s a bit complicated to understand—but people who are destroyed are also capable of destroying people. They find you a safe place to release their anger from the past life. Sometimes regardless of the gender, I feel like Chinese people always treat people who they are close to so badly and people who they don’t really know very well which is very twisted. I’ve met a bunch of Chinese girls who appeared to be good to me but turned out wanting to be on top of me all the time. All I can elaborate is that I feel they just lack of security to whatever relationship happened in their life; they want good people to stick to them forever so they appear manipulative just not to let you go but finally cause the totally opposite consequence.
这是哪位华人大妈，把华女全贬低了一遍，这比法轮学员申请政治庇护都激烈。我的问题是为啥老有中国人跳出来总结中国人咋不好，最后说自己是个特例，这不是oxymoron 吗？ I am a woman so I can’t speak of the romantic side of your relationship. However, as a Chinese girl I always feel like having trouble maintaining friendship with girls who are also Chinese which made me question myself a lot. The moment I stopped to question myself was when I realized the fact that Chinese women are such unanimously aggressive, hateful, abusive and competitive creature because most of them come from a toxic environment, China, where women are trained to be submissive and subordinate so that they are always oppressed when growing up. So they are always desperate to grab someone to exert their power and thoughts so that they feel existed, aka narcissist. Probably it’s a bit complicated to understand—but people who are destroyed are also capable of destroying people. They find you a safe place to release their anger from the past life. Sometimes regardless of the gender, I feel like Chinese people always treat people who they are close to so badly and people who they don’t really know very well which is very twisted. I’ve met a bunch of Chinese girls who appeared to be good to me but turned out wanting to be on top of me all the time. All I can elaborate is that I feel they just lack of security to whatever relationship happened in their life; they want good people to stick to them forever so they appear manipulative just not to let you go but finally cause the totally opposite consequence. daremighty 发表于 2023-06-23 18:43
这是哪位华人大妈，把华女全贬低了一遍，这比法轮学员申请政治庇护都激烈。我的问题是为啥老有中国人跳出来总结中国人咋不好，最后说自己是个特例，这不是oxymoron 吗？ I am a woman so I can’t speak of the romantic side of your relationship. However, as a Chinese girl I always feel like having trouble maintaining friendship with girls who are also Chinese which made me question myself a lot. The moment I stopped to question myself was when I realized the fact that Chinese women are such unanimously aggressive, hateful, abusive and competitive creature because most of them come from a toxic environment, China, where women are trained to be submissive and subordinate so that they are always oppressed when growing up. So they are always desperate to grab someone to exert their power and thoughts so that they feel existed, aka narcissist. Probably it’s a bit complicated to understand—but people who are destroyed are also capable of destroying people. They find you a safe place to release their anger from the past life. Sometimes regardless of the gender, I feel like Chinese people always treat people who they are close to so badly and people who they don’t really know very well which is very twisted. I’ve met a bunch of Chinese girls who appeared to be good to me but turned out wanting to be on top of me all the time. All I can elaborate is that I feel they just lack of security to whatever relationship happened in their life; they want good people to stick to them forever so they appear manipulative just not to let you go but finally cause the totally opposite consequence. daremighty 发表于 2023-06-23 18:43
reddit 上刷到一个挺热闹的帖子，是老外谈自己和中国女人的婚姻的帖子，这个帖子下面引发了比较热烈的讨论和跟帖回复。挺有意思的，分享出来大家茶余饭后看看。 （感兴趣的可以戳链接 https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/13sodi8/chinese_girlswomen/） 发帖的老外描写了自己从结识中国女友结婚一直到婚姻失败的过程。下面是正文： 多年以前老外结识这位中国女孩儿交往起来，觉得她亲和可爱聪明，于是他们结婚了，并生了个孩子。 婚后老外逐渐发觉中国妻子开始表现出控制欲，甚至提出一些极端要求（demanded something extreme），不过他也没太在意。 慢慢地，他的妻子主宰了（dominated）他的生活包括：穿衣吃饭，社交，甚至阻止他和父母家人联系（原文：even made me cut out family members, including my dying father.）。 之后他的妻子表现得更加情绪化，甚至对他表现出暴力倾向（原文：I couldn't bring it up; she'd just block me, become either non-emotional or over-the-top emotional. She even hit me, several times. ）。 然后老外就去寻求心理治疗（relationship therapy）了，事情似乎进入了一种死循环（原文：everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy.）。 他的妻子开走了他的车并和他分居了，并且起诉离婚要求得到孩子抚养权，理由是说这个老外 "dangerously unhinged" 和 "violent"。 就在他妻子起诉要求孩子抚养权的同时，老外在心理治疗中被确诊 PTSD 和 narcissistic victim syndrome。 老外的治疗师建议他参加了一个由22名男性 "narcissistic victim" 患者组成的康复小组，结果他发现其中19个男性有过中国妻子或女朋友。这个老外还尝试联系了一些同样和中国女人结婚的男性，一些也正在为孩子抚养权的问题斗争（in custody battles），并且发现其中已经有一名男性自杀了（原文：Number seven killed himself a few months back, when he lost his house, child, and job.）。
最后老外感慨说：the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum. 里 发表于 2023-06-23 17:39
这是哪位华人大妈，把华女全贬低了一遍，这比法轮学员申请政治庇护都激烈。我的问题是为啥老有中国人跳出来总结中国人咋不好，最后说自己是个特例，这不是oxymoron 吗？ I am a woman so I can’t speak of the romantic side of your relationship. However, as a Chinese girl I always feel like having trouble maintaining friendship with girls who are also Chinese which made me question myself a lot. The moment I stopped to question myself was when I realized the fact that Chinese women are such unanimously aggressive, hateful, abusive and competitive creature because most of them come from a toxic environment, China, where women are trained to be submissive and subordinate so that they are always oppressed when growing up. So they are always desperate to grab someone to exert their power and thoughts so that they feel existed, aka narcissist. Probably it’s a bit complicated to understand—but people who are destroyed are also capable of destroying people. They find you a safe place to release their anger from the past life. Sometimes regardless of the gender, I feel like Chinese people always treat people who they are close to so badly and people who they don’t really know very well which is very twisted. I’ve met a bunch of Chinese girls who appeared to be good to me but turned out wanting to be on top of me all the time. All I can elaborate is that I feel they just lack of security to whatever relationship happened in their life; they want good people to stick to them forever so they appear manipulative just not to let you go but finally cause the totally opposite consequence. daremighty 发表于 2023-06-23 18:43
reddit 上刷到一个挺热闹的帖子，是老外谈自己和中国女人的婚姻的帖子，这个帖子下面引发了比较热烈的讨论和跟帖回复。挺有意思的，分享出来大家茶余饭后看看。 （感兴趣的可以戳链接 https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/13sodi8/chinese_girlswomen/） 发帖的老外描写了自己从结识中国女友结婚一直到婚姻失败的过程。下面是正文： 多年以前老外结识这位中国女孩儿交往起来，觉得她亲和可爱聪明，于是他们结婚了，并生了个孩子。 婚后老外逐渐发觉中国妻子开始表现出控制欲，甚至提出一些极端要求（demanded something extreme），不过他也没太在意。 慢慢地，他的妻子主宰了（dominated）他的生活包括：穿衣吃饭，社交，甚至阻止他和父母家人联系（原文：even made me cut out family members, including my dying father.）。 之后他的妻子表现得更加情绪化，甚至对他表现出暴力倾向（原文：I couldn't bring it up; she'd just block me, become either non-emotional or over-the-top emotional. She even hit me, several times. ）。 然后老外就去寻求心理治疗（relationship therapy）了，事情似乎进入了一种死循环（原文：everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy.）。 他的妻子开走了他的车并和他分居了，并且起诉离婚要求得到孩子抚养权，理由是说这个老外 "dangerously unhinged" 和 "violent"。 就在他妻子起诉要求孩子抚养权的同时，老外在心理治疗中被确诊 PTSD 和 narcissistic victim syndrome。 老外的治疗师建议他参加了一个由22名男性 "narcissistic victim" 患者组成的康复小组，结果他发现其中19个男性有过中国妻子或女朋友。这个老外还尝试联系了一些同样和中国女人结婚的男性，一些也正在为孩子抚养权的问题斗争（in custody battles），并且发现其中已经有一名男性自杀了（原文：Number seven killed himself a few months back, when he lost his house, child, and job.）。
最后老外感慨说：the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum. 里 发表于 2023-06-23 17:39
最后老外感慨说：the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum.
🔥 最新回帖
然後看你的前後文 看得我邏輯上好矛盾 所以你到底是港台的哪一個？ 因為你描述你的家庭也是男女很不平等 父親高高在上什麼都不做
上次不是有一个帖子，老公relocate到加州工作，女的发帖子说自己要提前帮老公安排好一切事务，好让她老公安心工作，样样都得按照她的想法来安排，结果她老公却各种不配合不appreciate。大家都回帖说女的控制欲特别强，她最后还不服气。
懒，呵呵。
不限于 日本啦 韩国台湾 东南亚 女人都很温顺 甚至 中亚 女人，基本上价值观是非常传统的 餐桌 都有爸爸的专座 别人不可以坐
🛋️ 沙发板凳
有出生国度不同，有性格不同，有家环境不同， 有教育背景不同……
我真不是在暗示双方都有问题
有的中国女人没有边界感的概念，干涉别人自由，而且温水煮青蛙，令人防不胜防。老美女人强势不过心里可能是清楚自己是越界了。
这老外劲说大实话，国外生活实在是把他们宠坏了，必须组织国内大妈来教育教育他们
我也有同感。我闺蜜的白男朋友就是感觉性格弱弱的。当然经济条件什么的还挺好，但是性格不行，看起来也搞不定同等条件的白女的样子。
都把杨白劳逼死了，还温顺？
老外从小没被pua过，这边的人真的很单纯。
u1s1，据我观察白女比华女逆来顺受多了 美国女性地位不咋地，国内女性现在地位越来越高了，谁jb care男的怎么想的。
这种没有常识的个体真的就能代表全体中国女人了？其实不管是不是异族婚姻，只要是两个人想结婚，婚前就应该充分的了解。了解不够就结婚了，肯定会出问题呀。
我觉得这个可能是真相。异族通婚，本身都得努力克服文化差异，这是不容易的。但是看人千万不要stereotype, 如果白男觉得娶有色人种的女人，对方就得一味温柔顺从，那这婚还是不要结的好。喜欢一个人应该是喜欢她/他真实的性格，而不是你的想象。
太恶心了，整个讨论都在妖魔化中国女人，跟说中国人不卫生，东亚病夫一样，跟说犹太人长角一样，就是种族歧视
你自恨
真的文化差异巨大。有的人可能一时头脑发热结婚了，之后为了调节这方面的差异，是要伤筋动骨的。同理和这边长大和孩子的亲子关系，也要反复提醒自己。但是我看这个论坛上很多女人不但没有自省，对孩子也是以自己为中心，百般控制刁难。在这边长大的亚裔孩子，和父母之间的关系真的很难。当然了，有的人觉得一点都不难，只要孩子一直听从我的控制就行了。
这个心理有病的人说的感觉。。。不能作为客观描述。
是的。在一个不正常的文化里长大的人，如果不反思自己，那一辈子都是这个变态文化的一部分。可惜很多人都自恋到有自己的东西都是好的，不惜伤害自己爱的人。反省的人反倒被说成是自恨了。如果你身上有一个伤人伤己的缺点，你发现并改变这个缺点不是很正常吗？但是在自恋的人看来就是大逆不道了，我缺德我有理。
I am a woman so I can’t speak of the romantic side of your relationship. However, as a Chinese girl I always feel like having trouble maintaining friendship with girls who are also Chinese which made me question myself a lot. The moment I stopped to question myself was when I realized the fact that Chinese women are such unanimously aggressive, hateful, abusive and competitive creature because most of them come from a toxic environment, China, where women are trained to be submissive and subordinate so that they are always oppressed when growing up. So they are always desperate to grab someone to exert their power and thoughts so that they feel existed, aka narcissist. Probably it’s a bit complicated to understand—but people who are destroyed are also capable of destroying people. They find you a safe place to release their anger from the past life. Sometimes regardless of the gender, I feel like Chinese people always treat people who they are close to so badly and people who they don’t really know very well which is very twisted. I’ve met a bunch of Chinese girls who appeared to be good to me but turned out wanting to be on top of me all the time. All I can elaborate is that I feel they just lack of security to whatever relationship happened in their life; they want good people to stick to them forever so they appear manipulative just not to let you go but finally cause the totally opposite consequence.
你楼上不就有一位以己推人地大骂中国女人就是不行吗？
说得好。我觉得没必要别人发表点言论，国人就拼命反思自己。自己有没有这问题，都把脏水往自己身上泼。不违法的情况下，遵从自己认为正确的，剩下爱咋咋。再一个我说一下啊，有一些异族婚姻，不是全部啊（很多条件很好很般配的异国情侣不在这个讨论范围内），本身自己族裔里找对象结婚就困难。这种就不要总结中国女人怎么样，外国男人怎么样。抱怨来抱怨去的这些人，先照照镜子，自己的毛病先看看清。都是本族里挑剩下的，自己毛病都一大堆，就别说别人了。实话难听，轻拍。
小心这里的大妈咬你
不需要妖魔化吧，版上好多比他媳妇厉害吧，他还没经历他老婆和他妈大战呢
Spanish 脾气以火爆著称，hot Spanish那真比国女作到哪儿去了难不成也是共产教育出来的？
我可以负责任地讲，邓文迪与她的两个女儿，是两种类型的Chinese women.
遇事永远反思自己，白人说的永远对，不就是你那不正常文化里最不正常的地方吗？
话说回来，喜欢找异国婚姻的很多是比较有冒险精神和猎奇心理的人，也许男女都不大适合婚姻
比被白老公杀了是不是好那么一点点？你希望你女儿欺负白老公还是被白人抛尸呢？
你这么不平衡，是想嫁白人没嫁上？
恨自己在家抽自己好了，不需要来上网
哈哈哈哈哈哈
谁不让他离婚了？他都心里疾病了上网搞种族歧视了还不离婚，是想杀人骗保还是想拿女的当饭票呢？
那些男的都那么逆来顺受？
别的没看出来，这么自恨真是没得比。自己族裔被人骂了还上赶着来认错道歉的除了中国人也再找不出了。
应该翻译成“华人”，而不是“中国”
是啊。这种自恨的脑回路有问题。
很好笑。一些人说华人女子submissive，所以老外喜欢。 这里又有一个stereotype，华人女子控制欲强。 到底是哪个？ 或者不同人认识不同。
是吗？你蛙家大小S很温顺么？说笑呢。🤣🤣🤣
这帖子炸出一堆自恨大妈
也许有人以此为生？反正我放弃了，英文世界说国内坏话的人太多了。你反驳一句，冲出来一群人攻击你，反正什么都是中国人的错
强烈支持LZ把帖子转到XX 然后让两边互殴
很多嫁美国人的难道不都是这样
别瞎说八道了 邓文迪控制了个空气啊 要不是靠两个女儿 她连根毛都分不到 还控制默多克？
这才应该是实打实的大实话，真相，哈哈
美国人应该对中国女生还是有误解，不过这几年应该好很多了，因为接触的中国人多了
其实多接触接触美国白人就知道了，正经家庭出来的体面白人男孩基本上高中大学都有稳定女朋友了，毕业一两年就结婚的更不在少数。除了学校里工作里认识的，会去找亚裔的多少是冲着好掌控去的，结果发现对方并不好掌控，就抱怨对方是母老虎，中国女人如何如何。其实一多半婚姻最后都是要破裂的，哪怕是和同族裔也是一样
需要比谁健康谁高等的时候华人就submissive没自尊 需要比谁性格好容易相处的时候华人就controlling
一代华女嫁白人的确实是华男筛过的，二代abc就不是，她们优先选白男
哈哈哈哈哈哈我要笑死了！！！上上周我带我儿子去吃buffet 一个人50那种，他一共去了三次拿食物，第一次是一整盘炒饭，第二次是一整盘排骨，第三次一整盘青菜，吃饱。我老公跟我互相对看，彼此点点头笑，不出声lol
屁嘞 pua就是美国人发明的好吗
你用一个英语词来描述pua，同时说这里人没被PUA过 那他们都是专门跨洋PUA中国人去了？
你不觉得矛盾吗？
ABJ首先很少，找了ABK可能更倒霉
说得对。如果找对象想的都是怎么拿捏对方，这说明这人本身就不是个好的结婚人选。你结婚的动机应该是双方很欣赏对方（外貌人品性格才华），很爱对方，觉得两个人一起生活未来会很幸福。而不是这个人能给我带来多大利益，我能不能拿捏住这个人，我能从这个人身上榨取多少好处。如果结婚动机都不良，结果能好了才怪。