Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It’s love you offer freely. You don’t base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness. ----------------------------------------- 你爱这个人,而且这种爱不依赖于任何ta对你的回报。单纯的爱ta,只希望ta幸福就好。 ---------------------------------------- 从字面上来看,必要条件之一是 你爱ta,而且不需要ta爱你,无论ta爱不爱你,都不影响你爱ta的程度。 这种过于罕见,我都不确定这值不值得追求。可能偶尔有一些父母对子女的爱能达到这个条件(而且绝对不是普遍的),或者有少数宅宅对纸片人的‘爱’能到这个程度?
Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It’s love you offer freely. You don’t base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness. ----------------------------------------- 你爱这个人,而且这种爱不依赖于任何ta对你的回报。单纯的爱ta,只希望ta幸福就好。 ---------------------------------------- 从字面上来看,必要条件之一是 你爱ta,而且不需要ta爱你,无论ta爱不爱你,都不影响你爱ta的程度。 这种过于罕见,我都不确定这值不值得追求。可能偶尔有一些父母对子女的爱能达到这个条件(而且绝对不是普遍的),或者有少数宅宅对纸片人的‘爱’能到这个程度? lee_hr 发表于 2023-06-04 18:07
我觉得他俩之间的问题不是没有unconditional love,而是一个妈宝,不懂得boundary,一个low self esteem,不懂得stand up for herself的问题。 他们的下一段婚姻都更好,因为哈林学会了更加把伴侣放在第一位,伊能静学会了正视自己的需求,挑选原生家庭开明健康,(因而)真正把自己放第一位的伴侣。
先学习一下什么是unconditional self love, 就是自爱: 1.Do away with the self-criticism: I don’t like how I look”, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much”, “I look horrible in that dress 2. Take care of your body: Exercising and eating healthy won’t just give you a fit body, it can even give you a sound mind. 3.Counter your fear: If you do not feel confident in a certain dress, stand in front of the mirror, stare into your eyes, and tell yourself that you’re going to rock it. And once you do step out wearing it, your fears will vanish and you’ll be proud of yourself for overcoming your fear and reluctance. 4.Forgive yourself: We’re all human beings, completely capable of making mistakes and doing some very selfish things. You’re not alone in this. But you can definitely feel like you are if you continue to punish yourself for your humanly misgivings and are always too harsh on yourself. 5. Surround yourself with positive people Pleasing people has got to stop if you want to love yourself—no matter what. Choose your friends wisely and surround yourself only with those people, who motivate you, make you feel happy and light, and have a positive influence on you 6. Indulge in activities that spark joy Follow your passion, take it up as a hobby, or your profession. Or simply stick to an activity that you really enjoy doing. Art, craft, swimming, dancing, reading—do whatever makes you happier to feel more fulfilled and more in love with yourself. 7. Stand up for yourself It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. You’ve got to set your standards high and make sure you maintain them by taking a stand for yourself every time anyone tries to undermine, criticise, or illtreat you—all this for the sake of your self-esteem.
先学习一下什么是unconditional self love, 就是自爱: 1.Do away with the self-criticism: I don’t like how I look”, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much”, “I look horrible in that dress 2. Take care of your body: Exercising and eating healthy won’t just give you a fit body, it can even give you a sound mind. 3.Counter your fear: If you do not feel confident in a certain dress, stand in front of the mirror, stare into your eyes, and tell yourself that you’re going to rock it. And once you do step out wearing it, your fears will vanish and you’ll be proud of yourself for overcoming your fear and reluctance. 4.Forgive yourself: We’re all human beings, completely capable of making mistakes and doing some very selfish things. You’re not alone in this. But you can definitely feel like you are if you continue to punish yourself for your humanly misgivings and are always too harsh on yourself. 5. Surround yourself with positive people Pleasing people has got to stop if you want to love yourself—no matter what. Choose your friends wisely and surround yourself only with those people, who motivate you, make you feel happy and light, and have a positive influence on you 6. Indulge in activities that spark joy Follow your passion, take it up as a hobby, or your profession. Or simply stick to an activity that you really enjoy doing. Art, craft, swimming, dancing, reading—do whatever makes you happier to feel more fulfilled and more in love with yourself. 7. Stand up for yourself It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. You’ve got to set your standards high and make sure you maintain them by taking a stand for yourself every time anyone tries to undermine, criticise, or illtreat you—all this for the sake of your self-esteem.
tomjust 发表于 2023-06-04 19:56
看起来是巨婴的生活准则。不自我批评,不接受外人批评,你怎么和外人沟通,你怎么进步? “I shouldn’t have eaten so much” 和 “I look horrible in that dress‘’是有本质区别的
先学习一下什么是unconditional self love, 就是自爱: 1.Do away with the self-criticism: I don’t like how I look”, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much”, “I look horrible in that dress 2. Take care of your body: Exercising and eating healthy won’t just give you a fit body, it can even give you a sound mind. 3.Counter your fear: If you do not feel confident in a certain dress, stand in front of the mirror, stare into your eyes, and tell yourself that you’re going to rock it. And once you do step out wearing it, your fears will vanish and you’ll be proud of yourself for overcoming your fear and reluctance. 4.Forgive yourself: We’re all human beings, completely capable of making mistakes and doing some very selfish things. You’re not alone in this. But you can definitely feel like you are if you continue to punish yourself for your humanly misgivings and are always too harsh on yourself. 5. Surround yourself with positive people Pleasing people has got to stop if you want to love yourself—no matter what. Choose your friends wisely and surround yourself only with those people, who motivate you, make you feel happy and light, and have a positive influence on you 6. Indulge in activities that spark joy Follow your passion, take it up as a hobby, or your profession. Or simply stick to an activity that you really enjoy doing. Art, craft, swimming, dancing, reading—do whatever makes you happier to feel more fulfilled and more in love with yourself. 7. Stand up for yourself It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. You’ve got to set your standards high and make sure you maintain them by taking a stand for yourself every time anyone tries to undermine, criticise, or illtreat you—all this for the sake of your self-esteem.
tomjust 发表于 2023-06-04 19:56
不吐不快 ‘’It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. ‘’这是每次大规模枪击案凶杀的借口
我看了些回复,觉得不少对无条件的爱有误解。无条件的爱不等于没有boundary,不等于允许对方践踏你,不尊重爱护你。。。也不等于柏拉图式的爱情。无条件的爱是建立在自爱的基础上,但你足够自爱,认可接纳自己,爱惜自己,有足够高的自我价值时,就不会允许他人,无论是爱人,朋友,同事,亲戚对你不堪。
少点俗就多点纯:)
彻底看破红尘 禅悟到人生真谛 到了 40不惑 50知天命的时候
这种过于罕见,我都不确定这值不值得追求。可能偶尔有一些父母对子女的爱能达到这个条件(而且绝对不是普遍的),或者有少数宅宅对纸片人的‘爱’能到这个程度?
喜欢对方的各种条件,难道不是我们人类爱情的本质。
我的理解是真正爱的是他/她这个人,灵魂层面的,当然人品也是灵魂/高我反应出来的,而不是ta的社会条件,金钱地位,家庭出生等。
对,无条件的爱是对对方不抱有attachment和expectation。只有做到首先自己足够爱自己,给自己足够的安全感,精神和经济都独立,才有可能达到给对方无条件的爱。感觉还挺不容易的。
无条件的爱本身就否定了人性。是病态征服感的满足。
父母和孩子之间也不是unconditional 假如你孩子出柜/变性/从事非法活动。你还会有unconditional love吗?我表示怀疑。 当然了,配偶之间就更别提了。结婚本来就是一种利益交换啊,为什么有这么多人不能领悟到,前半辈子怎么活的啊?
都物质条件很优秀了还unconditional love?你这逻辑自己都说不通。再说一遍,异性之间没有unconditional love。别恋爱脑了,醒醒吧。你不和你老公sex,你老公早就和你离婚了。
他们的下一段婚姻都更好,因为哈林学会了更加把伴侣放在第一位,伊能静学会了正视自己的需求,挑选原生家庭开明健康,(因而)真正把自己放第一位的伴侣。
,为什么对自己unconditional love?所以自己可以为所欲为?可以自暴自弃?
我赞同你这个解读。无条件的爱不是说成为你爱的那个人没有条件,而是这份爱本身没有条件。你不打算以爱为名义去要求对方做什么,改变什么,付出什么。如果对方做不到,或者达不到你期望的程度,你就失望了不爱了。无条件的爱来自无欲无求,随心自然。当然,别人也不能强迫你爱或者不爱,一切全发自本心。
先学习一下什么是unconditional self love, 就是自爱: 1.Do away with the self-criticism: I don’t like how I look”, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much”, “I look horrible in that dress 2. Take care of your body: Exercising and eating healthy won’t just give you a fit body, it can even give you a sound mind. 3.Counter your fear: If you do not feel confident in a certain dress, stand in front of the mirror, stare into your eyes, and tell yourself that you’re going to rock it. And once you do step out wearing it, your fears will vanish and you’ll be proud of yourself for overcoming your fear and reluctance. 4.Forgive yourself: We’re all human beings, completely capable of making mistakes and doing some very selfish things. You’re not alone in this. But you can definitely feel like you are if you continue to punish yourself for your humanly misgivings and are always too harsh on yourself. 5. Surround yourself with positive people Pleasing people has got to stop if you want to love yourself—no matter what. Choose your friends wisely and surround yourself only with those people, who motivate you, make you feel happy and light, and have a positive influence on you 6. Indulge in activities that spark joy Follow your passion, take it up as a hobby, or your profession. Or simply stick to an activity that you really enjoy doing. Art, craft, swimming, dancing, reading—do whatever makes you happier to feel more fulfilled and more in love with yourself. 7. Stand up for yourself It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. You’ve got to set your standards high and make sure you maintain them by taking a stand for yourself every time anyone tries to undermine, criticise, or illtreat you—all this for the sake of your self-esteem.
看起来是巨婴的生活准则。不自我批评,不接受外人批评,你怎么和外人沟通,你怎么进步? “I shouldn’t have eaten so much” 和 “I look horrible in that dress‘’是有本质区别的
不吐不快 ‘’It’s NOT okay for someone to illtreat you and walk away freely. ‘’这是每次大规模枪击案凶杀的借口
想到了蔡琴,为她不值。谁都应该无条件先爱自己。
我的观察,一开始隐藏的很好说什么也不在乎的往往是很自私非常计较的人,一开始一切摆在台面上说清楚的人反而很好相处,之后很包容,嘴上说拜金的人未必真拜金。
极度self absorbed才会追求unconditional love
在有一天不受重力作用影响的时候
没有逻辑的家庭主妇?
这样说的话,我们当年大都是这么选配偶的。8,9十年代,大多数人都不富裕,所以找对象主要看对方的人品。
其实当你和爱人很有爱的时候,自然双方就会有生理反应,会想要爱爱。而不是把sex当条件和婚姻维持的筹码。
对的。只有自己足够爱自己,才会开始收获来自他人真正的爱。
当你真正爱自己,就不会让自己去做伤害自己的事,也不允许他人做伤害你自己的事。更不会自暴自弃了,因为你珍惜自己。这个标准不等于条件,不是说你要变成怎样的人,取得什么成绩,才觉得自己可以爱自己,或者自己值得被爱。对自己无条件的爱,就是接纳认可当下的自己,会希望自己变得更好,因为那样是提高自己,尤其是灵魂层面的提升,但也允许自己是不完美的,是会犯错的,会原谅自己的过错,疗愈自己的创伤。
你解释的非常好。三言两语就解释了什么是“条件”,不是说我们会爱上任何人,什么条件的人都值得我们爱上,而是我们对自己内心爱上的人,给ta的爱本身是没有条件的,不求回报的。
恩,理想情况下,当双方都给对方无条件的爱时,就会自发自愿地提供给对方这些价值。而不是靠对方索取来的。确实在现在这个3D世界很难实现。无条件的爱是五维的概念。
你说的一开始说清楚,是指这个人比较坦诚,说话做事坦荡,不玩阴的,我也很喜欢这样的人呢。
对,爱却是是一种能力。其实很多人,包括我自己在内,都不懂得什么叫做真正的无条件的爱,因为我们也没有得到过来自父母或者他人真正的爱。我现在能想到的一个例子只有上帝对人类的爱符合这个定义。