Sorry can't type in Chinese here. My 9year old son had similar comments to me yesterday while he was playing piano. He was upset when I gave him feedback for correction. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that I couldn't give him feedback more positively that he felt bad about himself. I told him that I was not used to give positive feedback and it was definitely an area that I should improve. I thanked him for pointing it out and encouraged him to remind me when I first focused on the negative and forgot to mention all the good things he did. After his feeling was accepted and acknowledged, he was in a much better mood and did his piece perfectly. I feel as parents and child, we all need to understand each other, be open, not just get the child to do what we feel what is right, but to give them the spot light to feel being seen, being appreciated. It is great that your son was open to you, to share those thoughts with you. That means he shows his vulnerability and seeks for a change. Use this opportunity to really listen and acknowledge his feeling, also share your feeling and thoughts on it as well. Then this will be a meaningful conversation and the relationship will be closer and with more trust.
我在therapy里好多年才慢慢学会如何stand up for myself，如何直接说出自己想被怎样对待，而不是直接flight or flight/being passive aggressive，如何在亲密关系中和职场里set boundaries 这孩子看了书就开始直接能实践，能communicate，我是真的佩服
同意，这孩子小小年纪就能能identify & point out原生家庭的问题，今后肯定会励志做不一样的父母
原生家庭这代代相传的毛病终于在这一代因为孩子的自知和努力停止了
看好孩子
能说出“说多了就没意义了”这种屁话的我还以为已经70朝上了 我妈60都不这样 从小夸我夸到天上
老年人还来网上冲浪吗
是 我老公小时候我婆婆就是生活无微不至，精神上只批评不表扬。我公公诈尸式育儿，在砸钱和暴打之间横跳。
我们现在有了娃我老公就是天天陪着抱着，夸个没完，娃和爹最亲了。
好可爱的娃啊， 你现在正是认错的时侯哇！
My 9year old son had similar comments to me yesterday while he was playing piano. He was upset when I gave him feedback for correction. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that I couldn't give him feedback more positively that he felt bad about himself. I told him that I was not used to give positive feedback and it was definitely an area that I should improve. I thanked him for pointing it out and encouraged him to remind me when I first focused on the negative and forgot to mention all the good things he did. After his feeling was accepted and acknowledged, he was in a much better mood and did his piece perfectly.
I feel as parents and child, we all need to understand each other, be open, not just get the child to do what we feel what is right, but to give them the spot light to feel being seen, being appreciated.
It is great that your son was open to you, to share those thoughts with you. That means he shows his vulnerability and seeks for a change. Use this opportunity to really listen and acknowledge his feeling, also share your feeling and thoughts on it as well. Then this will be a meaningful conversation and the relationship will be closer and with more trust.
我在therapy里好多年才慢慢学会如何stand up for myself，如何直接说出自己想被怎样对待，而不是直接flight or flight/being passive aggressive，如何在亲密关系中和职场里set boundaries
这孩子看了书就开始直接能实践，能communicate，我是真的佩服
你老公遇到你真是幸运，否则大几率他会复制他爸妈的parenting style，然后一代一代传下去
你老公也通过你俩的娃，治疗了他的很多童年创伤，让他有一个机会to be the father he wished he had
是将来被嗷嗷的小战狼们按地摩擦的一代。
作业其实不少，算术确实不多，但是其它要读的东西太多太多
我认识一个人，从小就暴揍孩子，因为他爸从小就暴揍他，而他现在混得挺好，是一个公司的director，所以他就认为他爸的那一套是正确的。感觉版上不少人也是这样。
啊你说的真感人！
我和我老公其实是互补，他经常说我们是没头脑和不高兴的组合—他虽然小时候被打骂，会社恐，但是情绪很稳定很会设定人际关系的界限。我是精神不太稳定的典型天蝎，虽然经常脑子秀逗但是很能毫无保留地给他很多爱和照顾。 娃又像我又像他。我知道他是有trauma的，因为他只让娃叫他daddy，“爸爸”这个词对他来说非常triggering😞
好可怜，他孩子今后很可能也会继续暴揍他的下一代
很明显老公has done a lot of work on himself，特别赞
互补最好了，否则一个team只有一半的capabilities & options
理解有些词很triggering，我自恋型人格妈妈从小到大总对我说“妈妈爱你”，我跟娃只能说英文版
同意孩子小的时候要多鼓励，但是那是５－６岁以前，大了以后没人夸就没有drive，努力是为了得到别人的夸奖吗？父母可以推荐给他The self driven child，学习一下什么叫真正的drive