Sorry, can''''t type Chinese on my device. Thank you for all the kind words and blessings. Sometimes people that do not walk our walk will cause harm as they don''''t understand how much we suffer inside. I have friends who text me "I called and texted you so many times, why aren''''t you replying?" "Why are you so unappreciative?" They will tell me, as a mother, I need to be strong. Instead of taking time to grieve, they tell me that I should devote my time to work and make a lot of money for my kids. If I don''''t do well at work, it is because I am weak or irresponsible. How many times I just want to scream at them: I don''''t want to answer your calls because I hate telling lies. You text me asking how I am doing and expect me to answer "I am ok"? I am not ok, and I am strong when I am taking the time to grieve. This applies to my kids as well. So don''''t ask people who have lost their loved ones how they are doing. If you want to show your support, send them food, take the kids out for fun or simply text "I am here for you" without expecting a reply. So we will know that we have friends who love and support us whatsoever. I am lucky to have a few friends who do this, but I know from the widow''''s group that I am in, that many people do not have that luck. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My husband passed away from cancer. My kids are having good times and laughing with their friends during playdates, but they couldn''''t sleep at night and will not sleep in their own room. My daughter will spend hours staring at me at night while I am sleeping as she is scared I will stop breathing during sleep. The songs that my husband once loved to listen to, now become a painful reminder, and my kid will cover their ears when they hear those songs. I will go out with my friends, have a great dinner and laugh with them and tell them "I am ok". I do this because I don''''t want my good-intention friends to feel bad or worried about me. But when I am alone, I will cry and sometimes I am so depressed, I can''''t even force myself to get up from bed and wash my face. People deal with grief in different ways, please don''''t judge.
Only time can heal. The pain never goes away, you all will be better and better with managing and controlling the pain. Bless you and your kids, you all did great!
My husband passed away from cancer. My kids are having good times and laughing with their friends during playdates, but they couldn't sleep at night and will not sleep in their own room. My daughter will spend hours staring at me at night while I am sleeping as she is scared I will stop breathing during sleep. The songs that my husband once loved to listen to, now become a painful reminder, and my kid will cover their ears when they hear those songs. I will go out with my friends, have a great dinner and laugh with them and tell them "I am ok". I do this because I don't want my good-intention friends to feel bad or worried about me. But when I am alone, I will cry and sometimes I am so depressed, I can't even force myself to get up from bed and wash my face. People deal with grief in different ways, please don't judge. XFHF 发表于 2022-06-29 15:19
pat pat mm。 如果你lg看到你们伤心，他也会心痛的。 告诉孩子们，他们的爸爸希望他们能放下，好好生活。
My husband passed away from cancer. My kids are having good times and laughing with their friends during playdates, but they couldn't sleep at night and will not sleep in their own room. My daughter will spend hours staring at me at night while I am sleeping as she is scared I will stop breathing during sleep. The songs that my husband once loved to listen to, now become a painful reminder, and my kid will cover their ears when they hear those songs. I will go out with my friends, have a great dinner and laugh with them and tell them "I am ok". I do this because I don't want my good-intention friends to feel bad or worried about me. But when I am alone, I will cry and sometimes I am so depressed, I can't even force myself to get up from bed and wash my face. People deal with grief in different ways, please don't judge. XFHF 发表于 2022-06-29 15:19
不想让真正爱自己和自己爱的人担心，不是真正关心你的人反正也没必要知道，所以选择坚强。特别理解，楼主加油！Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
抱抱MM和孩子们，看哭了。 MM去教会吧，真的！不一定局限于华人教会，关键是找到你觉得合适，有回家的感觉的。 我也有一段悲伤抑郁，无法自拔的时光。当时经常在坐教堂里，一边听牧师在上面讲道，一边自己默默流泪。教会里不会有人 judge 你，大家只会在你平静的时候过来关心你，慰问你。你需要什么，安慰，送饭，家务，陪孩子玩等等，尽管提出来，会有人过来帮忙的。很多教会也有给孩子开的 Sunday school 和心理辅导。 即便是没有人布道的时候，一个人坐在教堂里默默流泪也是自然而然的事。 想哭就哭出来，想喊就找个空旷地方喊出来，需要帮忙就尽管说出来！世上还是好人多。 We are here for you; you are not alone. God bless!
回复 1楼XFHF的帖子 谢谢你的分享，没有亲身经历的人根本无法真正体会，甚至无法想象。never judge anyone, as you never know what one is going through in their life. Choose to be kind and choose to be supportive,
Take your time. Time might cure and it might not. Both are ok. Life will still go on. sometimes we just need to learn to live with it and become better at living with pain. big bless~~~~
Thank you for all the kind words and blessings. Sometimes people that do not walk our walk will cause harm as they don''''t understand how much we suffer inside.
I have friends who text me "I called and texted you so many times, why aren''''t you replying?" "Why are you so unappreciative?" They will tell me, as a mother, I need to be strong. Instead of taking time to grieve, they tell me that I should devote my time to work and make a lot of money for my kids. If I don''''t do well at work, it is because I am weak or irresponsible.
How many times I just want to scream at them: I don''''t want to answer your calls because I hate telling lies. You text me asking how I am doing and expect me to answer "I am ok"? I am not ok, and I am strong when I am taking the time to grieve. This applies to my kids as well.
So don''''t ask people who have lost their loved ones how they are doing. If you want to show your support, send them food, take the kids out for fun or simply text "I am here for you" without expecting a reply. So we will know that we have friends who love and support us whatsoever. I am lucky to have a few friends who do this, but I know from the widow''''s group that I am in, that many people do not have that luck.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My husband passed away from cancer. My kids are having good times and laughing with their friends during playdates, but they couldn''''t sleep at night and will not sleep in their own room. My daughter will spend hours staring at me at night while I am sleeping as she is scared I will stop breathing during sleep. The songs that my husband once loved to listen to, now become a painful reminder, and my kid will cover their ears when they hear those songs.
I will go out with my friends, have a great dinner and laugh with them and tell them "I am ok". I do this because I don''''t want my good-intention friends to feel bad or worried about me. But when I am alone, I will cry and sometimes I am so depressed, I can''''t even force myself to get up from bed and wash my face.
People deal with grief in different ways, please don''''t judge.
me 2
小孩不是更多的悲伤，而是更多的困惑与恐惧，因为“去世”还是一个太抽象的概念
大人比如配偶至亲过世的时候更明显的是悲伤，只有大人才能具体的理解“去世”到底意味着什么
抱抱….
有一个故事，一个爸爸带着小孩，小孩们在打闹嬉戏。有人善意提醒这个爸爸，你孩子们太闹了。这个爸爸默默地说，哦，对不起，他们刚参加完妈妈的葬礼。
pat pat mm。
如果你lg看到你们伤心，他也会心痛的。 告诉孩子们，他们的爸爸希望他们能放下，好好生活。
唉，众生皆苦。
bless。
看到隔壁那个评论也是蛮惊讶的。难道要人家天天以泪洗面？
太同意了👍
I am very sorry for your loss. Life goes on, and you must be strong for your children.
抱抱
不想让真正爱自己和自己爱的人担心，不是真正关心你的人反正也没必要知道，所以选择坚强。特别理解，楼主加油！Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
是的 我有两个同事失去了孩子 非常惨 白天能hold住 晚上就开始在facebook发很伤心的帖子 看了都让人心疼 每个人grief方式都不同 时间长短也很难说 只能陪着
抱抱楼主！愿你和孩子们都安好！
谢谢你的分享，没有亲身经历的人根本无法真正体会，甚至无法想象。never judge anyone, as you never know what one is going through in their life. Choose to be kind and choose to be supportive,
无论是大人的悲伤还是孩子的恐惧，尽力用事情填塞自己的思想和生活，淡化，忘却，都是正常人保护自己的方式，不然真的会崩溃。祝福LZ之后的路平安顺遂。