我时12岁来美国的1.5代。妻子是快20岁来美国的二代。婚姻已经过了10年，她对我挺好的，我也很爱妻子，其中最重要的一点我认为是因为我们三观相同。同时我认为因为我们努力工作，又正大光明，总是被上司提拔，分分的升到了director级别。 但今天我们吵了一小架。 我们夫妻都已经打完了疫苗。 我们有三个孩子。昨天晚上老二流鼻涕，不太舒服，我们给了她Tylenol，妻子又陪她睡， 今天早上有点低温（99.8F). 我在医院做管理，家里又没有和7岁女儿接触，因此我去了，叫妻子再次在家wfh（她是对城里大部分养老院药房的general manager，可以)。 其实这不是问题。但让她这次用了给养老院的仪器给我们的女儿测试了：10点多她发了的测试结果。阴性。 我又高兴女儿无事，但我又批评了她：you abuser of power... 随着陪一个猴子遮眼的emoji。 医院一直忙，我们没有多发信。 回家后我也没说什么，但等孩子们都入睡后，我很不自知的又问妻子“我有什么吃的？”， 然后又在她给我做三文治的时候苦心的说"You shouldn''''''''t have done that. We are here because it is just, you shouldn''''''''t do that." 我真是好心说话，发音是挺客气的劝导的，但她听了后发怒了回答“don‘t judge me, DON''''''''T judge me"，然后slammed the door, 不和我说了。 汉。 我知道妻子懂。 她是当年全工全读，忍受在二手车里过夜的凤凰女，是我和爸妈最看的起，是有奋斗精神和让我们又爱有真心佩服的女人。我也是中年男人了，这种小折磨不算什么，只是挖个树洞吐苦而已。 只是最终想说：我爱妻子，尊重妻子，只是有时就是1.5代和1代差别还是很大，甚至超过1.5代和土生土长美国人的距离。。。同时也感叹自己做人公正可能容易，但面对自己孩子时。。。汉。 妻子退回master bedroom后给我的冷战，但我等了一会还是进去和她解释了我的观点：我们有今天是人家对我们的公道，今天你私事公办就算没有说明不可，但还是not worthy of our positions and responsibilities. 说完了，我默默走开，让她不表态的看电视不理我。汉。。。我知道我们迟早又会恢复平常夫妻说笑的，只是有时不得不挖个树洞感叹一下. 我想她其实也知道自己做的不对，但我们俩还是有点差别。 ------------ 更新： 昨天早上起来就没事了，照样要我抱着。我们带孩子去看恐龙，妻子也说“maybe I shouldn''''t have done that“，我说以后再注意公事和私事的隔离就是了。我们是婚姻幸福十年多的夫妻，又有三个可爱的孩子们，有这点小摩擦根本不是什么。 星期五是我们夫妻一直说好我的自由时间（她的是星期三晚上)，我通常在mancave里喝啤酒玩游戏和聊天。我来中文网是练习中文的又可以做树洞，本来在国内有树洞但大家知道国内最近censorship越来越厉害所以被封掉了。我发现我们对凤凰男/女的概念和大家不同。我是12岁89年来的，她是19岁2000年来，没有凤凰男女这个词。百度又说凤凰男女的意思是指出身贫寒、努力拼搏的出来的。因此我们从来没认为这有什么不好的，并且为这骄傲。妻子能靠吃苦努力爬上来，这和我们家的三观一致，正是我佩服她和我们当初相爱的原因。
You are such a hypocrite! #1, you are taking your wife for granted. #2, because of what your wife did, you can have a peace of mind #3, 你还真的自我感觉良好？自己充满优越感？ #4，同意楼上的每一个字 “孩子没出结果前你就不应该去上班，毕竟在家没严格和孩子隔离。你太太做的才是对自己和别人更负责的做法”
因为和老美没法解释lz对妻子这跨越阶级却又毫不在意出身的高洁之爱。 怎么解释上海亲戚和凤凰女呢？my wife is a guangxi female Phoenix (you know sometimes a chicken can fly) and I’m from Shanghai. My parents said my wife deserves a man like me but my relatives in Shanghai all say nonono don’t marry 硬盘
这个楼主说话真是让我说不出的不舒服。不是中文不好辞不达意的缘故，而是那种什么都take for granted，觉得自己高人一等的感觉。真是大富大贵的扎克伯格之流也就罢了，明明也就是普通人，还是被惯坏了的那种，还这么装腔作势，实在惹厌。 楼主你听过一句话吗，贫家出娇儿，说的就是你这种类型的。你看看你自己做的事情。把生病的孩子丢给wfh的老婆一整天，你不感谢人家对家庭的付出，不慰问一下她又上班又带孩子的辛苦，到家第一句话，我有什么吃的，第二句话，你今天不该公器私用。你真不觉得这样做有多极品？跑到网上来诉苦，说来说去就是我老婆虽然家里穷（2000年的小本是土豪好吗）又是农村而且我家上海亲戚都反对可是我们不在乎啊！呵呵了，不在乎的事儿记得挺牢么，哪儿有一点点书香门第的风骨，满满都是小市民风格的跟红顶白啊。
回复 1楼drugdealer的帖子 Dude, i think you are generalizing a bit here. We are of similar background. I am also a health care worker and also moved to the US in my tween years. That said, my husband is a white guy! He is more American than you and me, right? Honestly neither of us would have used work testing facility for this, but if either of us did, the other person would not even commented on it, because it is not a big deal. Not even worth if discussed. It is not like your wife swindled 10k vaccines and sold them on the black market..... It sounds like your wife is fed up with you. Do you pepper these small jabs at her in your daily life? If you do, i don't blame her for being over it.
回复 1楼drugdealer的帖子 Dude, i think you are generalizing a bit here. We are of similar background. I am also a health care worker and also moved to the US in my tween years. That said, my husband is a white guy! He is more American than you and me, right? Honestly neither of us would have used work testing facility for this, but if either of us did, the other person would not even commented on it, because it is not a big deal. Not even worth if discussed. It is not like your wife swindled 10k vaccines and sold them on the black market..... It sounds like your wife is fed up with you. Do you pepper these small jabs at her in your daily life? If you do, i don't blame her for being over it.
sweatyarmpit007 发表于 2021-02-06 02:14
hardly, my wife is definitely NOT fed up with me. We are happily married for more than 10 years. Thank you very much. What was surprising to me was the fact that she would break with our value system, and risk her job, by testing our first daughter using her position as the general manager. I would never have guessed that since we were elevated to where we are because we are hardworking and incorruptible.
回复 36楼drugdealer的帖子 Dude 凤凰女 or 男 is deragatory. It describes those who were able to achieve conventional success through hard work despite their poor circumstances. However it implies this person never grew out of their small minded family or place of birth. That they still hold some of those values such as 重男轻女，小城做题家，妈宝，没眼界，抠，没品位....等等等。 None of which are good characteristics.
is it really a big deal? i don't work in your field so i've no idea, but i wonder if it is as bad as you thought. also, if it is not ok, why would she take the testing kit home in the first place?
回复 36楼drugdealer的帖子 Dude 凤凰女 or 男 is deragatory. It describes those who were able to achieve conventional success through hard work despite their poor circumstances. However it implies this person never grew out of their small minded family or place of birth. That they still hold some of those values such as 重男轻女，小城做题家，妈宝，没眼界，抠，没品位....等等等。 None of which are good characteristics.
Thank you for your pointers. This is what I would expect when there's a difference in understanding -- helpful and honest advice. I thank you for helping me with the modern Chinese vernacular.
回复 82楼drugdealer的帖子 So, there is no need to elevate this to "value system" blah blah blah. 上纲上线. It is not a big deal. Yes maybe your wife should not have tested your daughter, it is a bit.of an iffy situation. But your response is so bad as a husband to elevate a minor issue to be related her background, this is a direct jab at who she is. saying stuff like value system.and corruption when she was doing this for your family, i understand your wife. That is so hurtful! What are going to do? Report her? Get her fired? Just drop it. Apologize to your wife. 你觉得外国人这么上纲上线么？nope. Yes, if your wife was siphoning off fentanyl to sale on the street, it is a bit of a problem. This is a totally different thing.
回复 82楼drugdealer的帖子 So, there is no need to elevate this to "value system" blah blah blah. 上纲上线. It is not a big deal. Yes maybe your wife should not have tested your daughter, it is a bit.of an iffy situation. But your response is so bad as a husband to elevate a minor issue to be related her background, this is a direct jab at who she is. saying stuff like value system.and corruption when she was doing this for your family, i understand your wife. That is so hurtful! What are going to do? Report her? Get her fired? Just drop it. Apologize to your wife. 你觉得外国人这么上纲上线么？nope. Yes, if your wife was siphoning off fentanyl to sale on the street, it is a bit of a problem. This is a totally different thing.
sweatyarmpit007 发表于 2021-02-06 02:38
I don''t understand why you don''t think it involves our value system. Fairness and meritocracy are at the core of our beliefs as they are what made us who we are today. You might be right, that it might not be a big deal, but am I wrong for feeling that using a system entrusted to her that was meant used for the welfare of the nursing home residents to test our daughter was inappropriate? It might be understandable under the name of "family" but it''s a slippery slope that lead to many corruptions conducted under that guise. My wife and I pride ourselves on having succeeded in a system that valued our talents, not our roots or races. We shouldn''t be misusing the power or rights granted to us, but wield it for the betterment of those who put their lives in our care. I love my wife, but honestly, today what she did surprised and disappointed me.
我们夫妻都已经打完了疫苗。 我们有三个孩子。昨天晚上老二流鼻涕，不太舒服，我们给了她Tylenol，妻子又陪她睡， 今天早上有点低温（99.8F). 我在医院做管理，家里又没有和7岁女儿接触，因此我去了，叫妻子再次在家wfh（她是对城里大部分养老院药房的general manager，可以)。
其实这不是问题。但让她这次用了给养老院的仪器给我们的女儿测试了：10点多她发了的测试结果。阴性。 我又高兴女儿无事，但我又批评了她：you abuser of power... 随着陪一个猴子遮眼的emoji。
医院一直忙，我们没有多发信。 回家后我也没说什么，但等孩子们都入睡后，我很不自知的又问妻子“我有什么吃的？”， 然后又在她给我做三文治的时候苦心的说"You shouldn''''''''t have done that. We are here because it is just, you shouldn''''''''t do that." 我真是好心说话，发音是挺客气的劝导的，但她听了后发怒了回答“don‘t judge me, DON''''''''T judge me"，然后slammed the door, 不和我说了。
汉。 我知道妻子懂。 她是当年全工全读，忍受在二手车里过夜的凤凰女，是我和爸妈最看的起，是有奋斗精神和让我们又爱有真心佩服的女人。我也是中年男人了，这种小折磨不算什么，只是挖个树洞吐苦而已。 只是最终想说：我爱妻子，尊重妻子，只是有时就是1.5代和1代差别还是很大，甚至超过1.5代和土生土长美国人的距离。。。同时也感叹自己做人公正可能容易，但面对自己孩子时。。。汉。 妻子退回master bedroom后给我的冷战，但我等了一会还是进去和她解释了我的观点：我们有今天是人家对我们的公道，今天你私事公办就算没有说明不可，但还是not worthy of our positions and responsibilities. 说完了，我默默走开，让她不表态的看电视不理我。汉。。。我知道我们迟早又会恢复平常夫妻说笑的，只是有时不得不挖个树洞感叹一下. 我想她其实也知道自己做的不对，但我们俩还是有点差别。
------------
更新： 昨天早上起来就没事了，照样要我抱着。我们带孩子去看恐龙，妻子也说“maybe I shouldn''''t have done that“，我说以后再注意公事和私事的隔离就是了。我们是婚姻幸福十年多的夫妻，又有三个可爱的孩子们，有这点小摩擦根本不是什么。
星期五是我们夫妻一直说好我的自由时间（她的是星期三晚上)，我通常在mancave里喝啤酒玩游戏和聊天。我来中文网是练习中文的又可以做树洞，本来在国内有树洞但大家知道国内最近censorship越来越厉害所以被封掉了。我发现我们对凤凰男/女的概念和大家不同。我是12岁89年来的，她是19岁2000年来，没有凤凰男女这个词。百度又说凤凰男女的意思是指出身贫寒、努力拼搏的出来的。因此我们从来没认为这有什么不好的，并且为这骄傲。妻子能靠吃苦努力爬上来，这和我们家的三观一致，正是我佩服她和我们当初相爱的原因。
🔥 最新回帖
另外建议你先学习中文就去看中文电视剧 ，带字幕的。 《大江大河》youtube有！还能看懂凤凰男啥意思
1. 你12岁来中文很好 2. 不要跟网上的人较真，2020对很多人特别艰难，好多人在网络发泄，乱说话 3. 凤凰男：女有点歧义，是因为很多类似的凤凰男女的行为都比较看中钱财 4 . 把你同仁堂的背景打上会让很多人闭嘴 5 能看得出你有一个幸福家庭，所以别纠结小事，不要judge老婆特别是如果她做的事情是为了家庭更不要judge，每个人的道德底线都会多多少字下降一些如果在乱世中，不要感到羞愧，只是正常人的思维
🛋️ 沙发板凳
同意每一个字
做人公道是我们公认和相信的三观，也是我们相爱的一个原因。我们都是穷人起家，当年订婚也是因为爸妈和我都觉得妻子是个和我们一样自立更生和公正的女生。 妻子的确也是。只是有时发现她和我的差别是：我是全面的，不管是家里还是家外，但她对自己和家外是公正的但对自己家人有点。。。双标。
呵呵，我深知这个。所以说我在这里挖个树洞。 我知道世界不完美，对自己和妻子也不能求，但我还是认为作为一个正人应该做出能公正做出的事。我可能是naive了，但我还是宁愿做个对的起镜子里自己的人。
lz什么出身？
真的。这是坑吧？有点文化和常识修养的人都不会会这么评论自己和妻子吧？
好像LZ是大城市的中产。 我觉得怎么说呢， LZ的思维真的很中国， 一堆阶级观念。 你老婆又事业，又3个孩子真是吃苦耐劳算是弥补了你没娶到上海白富美的遗憾吧。
我爸妈是80年代出国的研究生。妻子是2000年代来读本科的。我们是前十名药学院读书认识的同班同学。
这并不重要。我和爸妈都爱她因为她当年一无所有来美国吃苦的就和我们一模一样，因此虽然上海亲戚都反对我们的婚姻，我爸妈支持我和她的婚姻。这是就是我们都共同相信的公正和平等，因此我们从来都三观相同。所我不像给大家误会。我们的婚姻一直是幸福的，只是再幸福的婚姻中还是有些摩擦，想说一些点点滴滴。我在这里挖个树洞因为国内论坛不允许，把多年的树洞给封门了。
爸妈出国在实验室做苦力的孩子鄙视来读本科的老婆是凤凰女，我没看错吧？你成长的环境根本就不是什么锦衣玉食的条件，甚至相差甚远，哪来这么大的优越感？
很少听说凤凰女可以过来读本科。莫非楼主以大城市来区别凤凰不凤凰？太太贴娘家了么？
aglee
难道我这1.5代的对”凤凰女“的概念有所不对？这词是我在美国华人中学的，认为意思是本来不是知识份子家庭背景自立更生的人。在我眼里是neutral的词。 难道我用错了词吗？
用错了，你应该自称凤凰才对
“难道我这1.5代的对”凤凰女“的概念有所不对？这词是我在美国华人中学的，认为意思是本来不是知识份子家庭背景自立更生的人。在我眼里是neutral的词。 难道我用错了词吗？”
这是我来美国学的词。如果我用词有错，请赐教。
那么请教我错在哪里。
我查了百度，说凤凰男/女是出家贫穷但靠自己奋斗成功的人。 难道这解释错了吗？那么如果我家来自上海教授和商家，她家来自广西农村。。。我用词错在哪里？
同时这不是重要的。我爸妈和我都非常爱妻子能干自立，因此她就是我的知己和镜子。我挖个树洞只是说一点我们之间还有的一点小问题。这点我想没有人家不是吧？
不能同意更多，身边的1.5代是最难处 最难让人理解的一群人
对不起，我的中文只有小学水平。来美国先在Nebraska，没有中文学校，家里有主要说上海话。妻子来自广西，又基本上说广东话，因此我们在家主要靠大半英语小半中文交流。 我来华人论坛的确主要是联系中文。
来自上海的教授和商家？ 什么意思解释一下吧
又见上海人 呵呵
同学您明白啥叫出身贫穷吗？现在的中国有六亿人月入不足一千人民币，那才叫做出身贫穷。你家岳父母能出得起女儿在美国读书的学费，讲真，家境比你祖父那一辈是肯定要强得多的。令尊令堂大人比你太太更配得上凤凰二字。
孩子生病，妻子陪夜，妻子wfh照顾病儿，你回来还要用这种高高在上的口吻说，你不可以这样。就一个装字，要我是你老婆，sandwich 拍你一脸。啥时候不装了再开口说话。
抱歉，容我进一步解释。 我爷爷是解放前药店的管家。我外公是抗日战争中回国的教授。解放后他们惨了，妻子家当时因为是工农兵比较好过。当然后来又返回来了。但这是背景，并不重要。我说了主要我们最后出国的时候d都是穷人, 因此我们在药学院恋爱时那么三观一致。
这么大来的，除了国内从小影响以外，家庭氛围影响很大。估计父母也都是小市民意识。
who cares where she came from， LZ 你确定你在美国长大？
汉，我本来不想多说，但我解释一下吧，以免误会。
她爸妈有三个孩子，两个儿子一个女儿。她是中间的那个。 虽然她是家里最聪明的，但他爸妈还是先送儿子们去南宁了。最后剩下的是学习最优秀的她。她考上了德州的一个community college。她爸妈最后觉得留她在农村里也可惜，找到了一个80年代跳船来美国的远亲来担保她。但这只是纸上的担保。
她来美国后全读全工，最早睡在她的二手honda civic里。 然后拿饭店的老夫妻老板同情她，让她在饭店里过夜。读完两年后她转正式大学，然后考进和我相同的药学院。我们是作为同学认识的。
我和爸妈最佩服就是她的来路。和我们一样。无论是什么背景和悲惨，我们都是一无所有来的。所以我家上海所有亲戚都反对我求婚时，只有我爸妈支持我，说我哪里才能找到这样值得我的女生。。。
good question
我来是为了学和连续中文。家里一直是上海话和广东话的chinglish。难道美国华人中没有这个问题吗？ 这应该挺普遍的。
因为和老美没法解释lz对妻子这跨越阶级却又毫不在意出身的高洁之爱。 怎么解释上海亲戚和凤凰女呢？my wife is a guangxi female Phoenix (you know sometimes a chicken can fly) and I’m from Shanghai. My parents said my wife deserves a man like me but my relatives in Shanghai all say nonono don’t marry 硬盘
楼主你听过一句话吗，贫家出娇儿，说的就是你这种类型的。你看看你自己做的事情。把生病的孩子丢给wfh的老婆一整天，你不感谢人家对家庭的付出，不慰问一下她又上班又带孩子的辛苦，到家第一句话，我有什么吃的，第二句话，你今天不该公器私用。你真不觉得这样做有多极品？跑到网上来诉苦，说来说去就是我老婆虽然家里穷（2000年的小本是土豪好吗）又是农村而且我家上海亲戚都反对可是我们不在乎啊！呵呵了，不在乎的事儿记得挺牢么，哪儿有一点点书香门第的风骨，满满都是小市民风格的跟红顶白啊。
汉，你也是先是。。。我才不觉得高妻子一等呢。我只是觉得私事公办不对。汉。。。这。。。难道我用”凤凰“虽然按谷歌和搜狗都是对的，却导致这里人总是对着我当初没说的背景感兴趣而没人在乎树洞的问题？
您把背景写进标题了，却好奇别人为啥感兴趣。
请说我哪里吧妻子的背景写进话题了？ 背景是你们问了我才填写的。 看来是你们有偏见，故意要吧话题改变成背景。
你不觉得高她一等都可以理直气壮地把病孩子甩给她一个要上班的人，别当wfh不是work啊！甩完家务连一声老婆辛苦了也不会说，就知道各种指手画脚，人家都叫你别judge她了你还跟着没完没了。你要是真觉得自己高了谁一等，那个场面太美不敢想啊！
凤凰特指家境贫穷心机深沉的掘金男女，会巴住家境好的配偶插管吸血供养自己原生家庭的那类型，说配偶是凤凰是对配偶的侮辱。下次别乱用这词。
我们讲的凤凰男女主要指补贴娘家过了头了的，一心只为自己父母家的那种，或者扶弟魔什么的，不分城市农村哦。主要是思想意识方面吧。当然，家庭背景多半也不太好。
我没说WFH不是work. 我说了我在医院工作。 可能你不能理解这不能WFH，而管理养老院药房的她可以WFH。 如果不懂我可以进一步解释，但请不要吧我没说的话放在我嘴里。谢谢。 我很尊重妻子，她是我的镜子和平等的人，请不要故意指手画脚的来改变我们的婚姻。谢谢。
对不起，这点我们不懂。因为这词在我们出国前不存在。我们在德州，这些词是我们在美国学的。因此我称为妻子凤凰女，妻子也曾我凤凰男，在我们眼里这是neutral的词，还因为是指穷人出家自己更生因此称为还觉得骄傲呢。谢谢指点。
是啊，就因为她有这种wfh的flexibility，她就活该白天上班和照顾孩子，晚上伺候你大老爷吃饭还得听你训话说她不该这样不该那样，连句谢谢都听不到。你就是这么尊重人的呀，见识了。
谁有兴趣改变你的婚姻？你自己该反省才是。
她有flexibility能wfh，和我没有flexibility不能wfh，这难道是我的错？你是不是就是估计想责怪我不能wfh? 难道我照顾医院的病人有错？我对病人负责变成太自私了？
哈哈哈，楼主太逗了，难怪大家拍你，这是一个贬义词。你中文实在太差了，句子都说不通顺，还以为你是广东的，母语粤语。原来上海的。怎么把中午讲成这样？12岁来的在国内应该小学毕业了。我表弟8岁来的，比你说话顺溜多了。
你没有flexibility不是你的错，你不感激你老婆的付出，却为了你那狗屁原则挑剔你老婆是大错。不管是不是你的主观因素，你既然已经让你老婆承担那么多了，就该在力所能及的时候多关心包容她，而不是下班回家除了跟她要吃的就是训话。
话说就算你中文只有小学生水平，阅读理解也不能这么差吧？
亲戚全在上海，大伯伯又是党员。 你说呢？ 但也要说清楚，因为爷爷因为是解放前的药店管家，坐了十几年牢的政治囚犯，因此平反后大伯伯选择加党而我爸留学美国。爷爷因为坐牢受害出来很快就去世了，因此哥弟两面的关系中一直有些矛盾。可惜我爸去年得癌去世了，阿娘也在之前2019年走了。幸好我们当时还能回上海见她一面。
Dude, i think you are generalizing a bit here. We are of similar background. I am also a health care worker and also moved to the US in my tween years.
That said, my husband is a white guy! He is more American than you and me, right? Honestly neither of us would have used work testing facility for this, but if either of us did, the other person would not even commented on it, because it is not a big deal. Not even worth if discussed. It is not like your wife swindled 10k vaccines and sold them on the black market.....
It sounds like your wife is fed up with you. Do you pepper these small jabs at her in your daily life? If you do, i don't blame her for being over it.
我没有批评妻子WFH，是你给自己编得感觉，还是请不要把我没说得话放在我嘴里。谢谢。 问题不是我和妻子谁能WFH, 这是我们早上已经同意得，所以不是随你做得决定。 问题是她和我一直三观相同，都认为做事正大光明，而却她反常得私事公办。这出了我得意料，所以我才挖个树洞。
hardly, my wife is definitely NOT fed up with me. We are happily married for more than 10 years. Thank you very much.
What was surprising to me was the fact that she would break with our value system, and risk her job, by testing our first daughter using her position as the general manager. I would never have guessed that since we were elevated to where we are because we are hardworking and incorruptible.
Dude 凤凰女 or 男 is deragatory. It describes those who were able to achieve conventional success through hard work despite their poor circumstances. However it implies this person never grew out of their small minded family or place of birth. That they still hold some of those values such as 重男轻女，小城做题家，妈宝，没眼界，抠，没品位....等等等。 None of which are good characteristics.
朋友，我知道咱们这种人自我感觉中文不错，感觉自己表达得明白。但是其实呢，如果写长篇，还没有编辑过，其他人看着真的很迷惑。
是啊，就算老婆做错了事，上升到移民1.5代和移民1代的差别，不知道想说啥？想炫耀自己比老婆多受了几年美国的基础教育还是咋的？
Thank you for your pointers. This is what I would expect when there's a difference in understanding -- helpful and honest advice. I thank you for helping me with the modern Chinese vernacular.
So, there is no need to elevate this to "value system" blah blah blah. 上纲上线. It is not a big deal. Yes maybe your wife should not have tested your daughter, it is a bit.of an iffy situation. But your response is so bad as a husband to elevate a minor issue to be related her background, this is a direct jab at who she is. saying stuff like value system.and corruption when she was doing this for your family, i understand your wife. That is so hurtful! What are going to do? Report her? Get her fired? Just drop it. Apologize to your wife.
你觉得外国人这么上纲上线么？nope.
Yes, if your wife was siphoning off fentanyl to sale on the street, it is a bit of a problem. This is a totally different thing.
我猜你身边的是后来来的12岁吧，还是移民纽约或者加州的吧？ 如果像我这样是80年代的12岁，然后是移民Nebraska的。。。我只想说我的初中只有我一个华人，我高中只有3个亚裔（两个华人一个日本女生），家里爸妈又都说上海话。当时想学中文都学不到。
想不懂到华人上装什么优越敢
我也差不多岁数来美国。 我们这种人就是写一个短点儿的，对话什么的，聊天都可以。 但是要叙述一个事情，阐述一个论点句子就完全没法组织清楚。 结果就是自己感觉自己写得很清楚，别人都看得很迷糊。我看别人文章就感觉，哇哇，好清楚，调理好整齐，timeline so great..自己一写就惨不忍睹。没办法。
大家理解一下。
Nebraska is such a random place to move to.....
I don''t understand why you don''t think it involves our value system. Fairness and meritocracy are at the core of our beliefs as they are what made us who we are today.
You might be right, that it might not be a big deal, but am I wrong for feeling that using a system entrusted to her that was meant used for the welfare of the nursing home residents to test our daughter was inappropriate? It might be understandable under the name of "family" but it''s a slippery slope that lead to many corruptions conducted under that guise.
My wife and I pride ourselves on having succeeded in a system that valued our talents, not our roots or races. We shouldn''t be misusing the power or rights granted to us, but wield it for the betterment of those who put their lives in our care. I love my wife, but honestly, today what she did surprised and disappointed me.
早年过来的二代真可怜。。。
My mom and dad were accepted by the University of Nebraska at Lincoln.