回复 95楼drugdealer的帖子 You can feel however you want. Your wife is also free to feel however she feel. In terms of right and wrong, yes, your wife was in the wrong, for violating a rule. But jay walking, smoking weed, are also wrong. So we can agree the term "wrong" can cover a broad range of things, from what your wife did to steal fentanyl patch from nursing home patients to sale on the internet, for example. What you could have said to your wife instead could be "Hey, thanks for testing the kid, it really helps. But this makes me uncomfortable, kind of iffy. Let''''''''s just go to CVS next time for something similar" Instead, you have to go and involve her background (like wft?) Such character assassination), and imply her value system is flawed? Some behaviors are very concerning in terms of personal value system. If a guy beats his wife, very concerning. If a guy kicks animals not in self defense - very concerning would stay away from that person. But like you said, you feel this is fairly out of character for your wife, and every else is fine, so please don''''''''t make this nothing burger into a big deal. People occasionally have lapses in judgement, it happens. Being extremely stringent, critical, and unforgiving towards your spouse gets your nothing good in return. it also sounds like you love to throw stones because you live in a glasshouse as an upstanding citizen. But I would be weary, you cannot guarantee that life will not put your in an ethical quandary in the future. Your wife feels hurt, you huurted her -- regardless what happened, who was right or wrong, she feels like shit. So, what are you going to do? Are you gong to say "well, it''''s your own fault for feeling like shit?" Or do something to make it better. Also, please don''''''''t elevate this to some 1.5 generation fob vs. 1st generation fob stuff. You and your wife had a small tiff in your marriage, that''''''''s it.
回复 158楼的帖子 对啊。这么点儿事情至于上升到这些么。 感觉两口子感情好的啥都是小事儿。 感情不好的整体啥都是个大事儿。 楼主,你看大家感觉你字里行间居高临下的感觉。你是不是抿着心问问自己,到底喜不喜欢你老婆?like truly honestly ask yourself if you really think that she is awesome and beautiful and smart and amazing? How come the first thought you had was not "damn, she had to use a testing kit from work because she is home with three kids and I didn''''''''t offer to take the kid to CVS myself. My fault.". Instead your first throught was "my wife made a lapse in judgement, this reflects poorly on her background and of her as an individual. I must tell the internet about it". Giving benefit of the doubt and having empathy for your spouse is really important in a marriage. I think what your wife really wanted to say before she slammed the door was"shut the f up. You effing asshole". 反正从我一个1.5 generation FOB lady的角度 看起来是这样的。
You can feel however you want. Your wife is also free to feel however she feel. In terms of right and wrong, yes, your wife was in the wrong, for violating a rule. But jay walking, smoking weed, are also wrong. So we can agree the term "wrong" can cover a broad range of things, from what your wife did to steal fentanyl patch from nursing home patients to sale on the internet, for example.
What you could have said to your wife instead could be "Hey, thanks for testing the kid, it really helps. But this makes me uncomfortable, kind of iffy. Let''''''''s just go to CVS next time for something similar"
Instead, you have to go and involve her background (like wft?) Such character assassination), and imply her value system is flawed? Some behaviors are very concerning in terms of personal value system. If a guy beats his wife, very concerning. If a guy kicks animals not in self defense - very concerning would stay away from that person. But like you said, you feel this is fairly out of character for your wife, and every else is fine, so please don''''''''t make this nothing burger into a big deal. People occasionally have lapses in judgement, it happens. Being extremely stringent, critical, and unforgiving towards your spouse gets your nothing good in return. it also sounds like you love to throw stones because you live in a glasshouse as an upstanding citizen. But I would be weary, you cannot guarantee that life will not put your in an ethical quandary in the future. Your wife feels hurt, you huurted her -- regardless what happened, who was right or wrong, she feels like shit. So, what are you going to do? Are you gong to say "well, it''''s your own fault for feeling like shit?" Or do something to make it better.
Also, please don''''''''t elevate this to some 1.5 generation fob vs. 1st generation fob stuff. You and your wife had a small tiff in your marriage, that''''''''s it.
妈耶,为什么人类要这样不断的贴标签 分类分类分类 将人分为三六九等
你内心绝对鄙视你老婆 以及第一代移民 在国内下等人不配上桌 在这里下等人不配在美国
哈哈哈,用词的问题你得信你老婆,她20岁来美国的,中文没得说了肯定比你强,根本不在一个数量级上,而且那会儿已经有凤凰这个词了,所以根据她对你的评价,我倒是有点相信你的确算是凤凰男了,至于你们觉得这是个中性词,嗯为了家庭和谐请一直这么认为下去吧。下一题。
估计福建农村出来的,学校土话教书
哈哈哈哈赞同。这个楼主真能装,SB一个
我见过12岁出来的,家里是知名教授。他说他后来的中文,是靠看金庸小说学的。 日常中英文都说,但是稍微正式一点的事,都是英文。让他打汉字,基本上别想。
lol
我好像听懂你的意思了。。。 小心 上海宁要组团来揍你了
他有屏蔽大法. 哈哈.
你结婚你父母支持亲戚反对,你结婚亲戚反对啥用?父母都不反对管亲戚啥事。。。
哈哈哈上海人蜜汁优越感
美国这里很多很多成功的华人二代都是餐馆,偷渡,农村的后代。 从没有美国人嫌弃过他们的出生。只有中国人,LZ 思想上还是第一代。
工作单位有个上海女孩,高中去的加拿大多伦多,嫁了个老外,只会说英文或上海话,不会普通话。看来大上海普通话推广的不好,政府部门应该打屁股。
Mr White前来报道
哈哈哈我见过的奇葩也全部是上海人
1.5代移民的问题在于他们来美国的时候中国还全面落后于美国,哪怕是北京上海也是一样落后(不像现在五光十色),所以来美国内心是有相当的自卑,如果移民后周围的环境又比较闭塞,人们对中国人又有偏见和歧视,1.5代在teenager这个年龄段,是正要形成价值观和自我意识的时候,遇到这些问题,那很容易造成心理障碍。不过楼主真的算是好的了,会主动来中文论坛来聊天练中文,真的算是好的了。我上学的时候,好多1.5代同学,是既不跟美国同学玩,也不屑于跟中国长大的同学来往的。有的都是15,16岁来美国,肯定会说普通话那种,都一句中文也不在学校说。美国本土的同学和ABC都不太会这样的。
我觉得如果说的是本人的差距可能有点好说的, 居然说的是上一代的差距, 人到中年在美国长大到还把你父母祖父母一辈子的事作为比较真是少见。
这个大哥原来在天涯发过贴,把家里的事都贴出来,后来被封了。我知道的1.5代女的都嫁白人,男的娶国女。有个好老婆就不错了,别唧唧歪歪了
可能楼主人到中年觉得自己唯一拿得出手的就是 自己是1.5代FOB,有点同情他,这是心理多么扭曲
“我知道的1.5代女的都嫁白人,男的娶国女。”
还真别说,我知道的也确实是这样哎!这也是个现象了。
this^
那是因为白人根本不理他这种所谓的1.5代哈哈哈,只能来这里玩,还想在我们这找优越感
1.5代男孩子一般都是找女留学生。
为啥被封了?
lz是觉得应该老婆拖着家里三娃去医生那边检查?万一是positive呢?车里其他两娃就有被传染的风险。最正确的不应该是你不去上班带着孩子去去医生那边来个rapid test吗?你还去上班了把娃留给妻子。一开始早上的时候你这个做丈夫的做了错误决定才导致后来妻子隐私用权给娃在家测试。
就想加一句,我认识的1.5代,中文都比你好太多。
1.5代,不如说你是个杂种多好 12岁,要是你真的忘了中文,全部都是英文环境英文文化,我也就不说什么了,泡在这个论坛,你装个什么逼啊 坛子里那几个装逼狂都没有你能装逼 你是喜欢被骂是吗,你得到了
估计总把自己家是知识分子那点破事儿拿出来说 文革受迫害那段不是在诉苦而是在秀优越感
那时候知识分子是少 但是是社会原因 最怕这种祖辈出身好念了点书就莫名有优越感的人
几十年前文盲并不代表基因不行 是没机会 现在都是知识分子了 开始知识分子内卷了
上海男人 真的是小气 算计 出名的 上海男人 以找了有上海几套房子的老婆 炫耀的 小市民气息十足 12岁来美国的朋友 中文真不是lz这么差劲 lz应该是自恨 故意把中文忘掉了 就像abc跟爸妈故意说英文一样 美国国男 心态真惨
其实这事是可以就事论事来讨论的。你却偏要上升到1.5代,和1代的区别,并且叫1代凤凰女。那就用你的衡量体系来衡量你一下吧。你有着明显的1.5代的人格缺陷,就是,以为更多的judge 1代,可以帮你向1.75代靠拢。其实你还是个1.5
我朋友1.5, 中文和我一样好,英文和你一样好,是咋解释?
哈,我上海亲戚还有炫耀外地老丈人换宝马车的
作为十岁来美国的鄙视你一下,12岁才出国的人需要“练习中文”?我看你是想装ABC才是
不用单位的测你怎么不请假带孩子去CVS测?
大家都不是傻子。字里行间话里话外都夹带和主题不相干的私货,夹带的那么生硬,夹带的那么突兀,傻子都能看出来私货才是重点,才是你骨子里看不上妻子的根源。你妻子要是肯尼迪家族的,估计你的标准早就不一样了。就是因为你骨子里觉得自己比妻子优越,你成年后来美国的这帮人优越,你才会把一个小事归因到来美国时间长短甚至家庭出身上。
看吐了,楼主你家是贵族血统还是什么的,一直觉得老婆高攀了你们家是吗?一直是那种施舍的姿态。最好直接跟老婆说明白,看她还愿不愿意跟你过。
我知道的是89年后12岁移的Idaho, 完全不会说中文;同期留在纽约的父母是北方的说中文没口音,看/写水平不清楚
这是因为自恨,自己有意识的排斥母语造成的。
装的
对啊。这么点儿事情至于上升到这些么。
感觉两口子感情好的啥都是小事儿。 感情不好的整体啥都是个大事儿。
楼主,你看大家感觉你字里行间居高临下的感觉。你是不是抿着心问问自己,到底喜不喜欢你老婆?like truly honestly ask yourself if you really think that she is awesome and beautiful and smart and amazing?
How come the first thought you had was not "damn, she had to use a testing kit from work because she is home with three kids and I didn''''''''t offer to take the kid to CVS myself. My fault.".
Instead your first throught was "my wife made a lapse in judgement, this reflects poorly on her background and of her as an individual. I must tell the internet about it".
Giving benefit of the doubt and having empathy for your spouse is really important in a marriage.
I think what your wife really wanted to say before she slammed the door was"shut the f up. You effing asshole". 反正从我一个1.5 generation FOB lady的角度 看起来是这样的。
我觉得你的想法是对的,但是一天之内不要过多的批评,你已经表达过一次观点了,不要再喋喋不休。你的妻子肯定自己也觉得不对,同时心里也有很大压力,所以情绪爆发了。可以过一段时间,大家心情都很好的时候你再谈这件事情。
夫妻两个人吵架的时候都没有赢家,发生争执的时候一定要先抱一抱。不要急于证明自己是正确的,谁对谁错都不重要
re.“只是有时就是1.5代和1代差别还是很大,甚至超过1.5代和土生土长美国人的距离”。 既然1.5代和1代差别这么大,为什么lz非要来1代的论坛吐槽,不是自找没趣吗?出门左转去reddit啊,该不会是怕被别人叫FOB吧。lz要不要放老婆一条生路,娶个老美当老婆,这样就不会觉得有代购了。
这个更装吧?高中出国的怎么会不会说普通话?OMG
老美白富美看得上他 还能找心中的凤凰女?没准是个矮胖丑且一东.... 其实lz应该正视自己 也只配得上凤凰女 别跟我讲 是在做慈善哈 都是臭打工的 还区别什么1.5代 1.55代 真可笑了
他妻子也工作,咋吸他血了?照你这说法,全职主妇白天都不能见太阳啊。
来得晚的叫做1.2代,来得更早的(譬如五六岁)才算1.7代……吧……
用错了。你lp是小留,你才是凤凰男。
哦对对对,感觉这个1.5代很无厘头
re。lz是那么的普通,却又那么的自信。明明自己是FOB,却觉得lp是FOB。好一只凤凰啊。
是啊,不明白他12岁来跟老婆18岁来有区别吗?我一直理解1.5代得是5岁以下的。
re lz有点恶。我认识小学来的都没lz这么在家英文聊天。还judge老婆。我看lz老婆蛮好的
这优越感找的 不知道内心是有多匮乏 才能寄托在小数点上面哈哈哈 这是被白人土著歧视出精神分裂了
第一代是专指成年后来美国的,第二代是出生在美国的。 未成年时随父母移民,受过中美两国教育的都应该算1.5代移民。
如果父母是有钱的商人,哪怕父母不是读书人,他们的孩子也不是凤凰。
你父母80年代来美。你自己什么时候来的?