今天刚学到的。在网上找到一个比较详细的描述，贴在下面供大家参考。虽然说的是sex，但relationship同样适应。没有经历过healthy relationship或者生活中没有这样案例可以参考的MM，可以用这个Model来衡量自己的relationship & sex，也可以和对方沟通改进。 Consent, Equality, Respect, Trust, and Safety Let’s look at each of these conditions more closely: CONSENT means you can freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity. This means you are conscious, informed, and able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact. EQUALITY means your sense of personal power is on an equal level with your partner. Neither of you dominates or intimidates the other. RESPECT means you have positive regard for yourself and for your partner. You also feel respected by your partner based on how your partner is treating you. TRUST means you trust your partner on physical and emotional levels. You accept each other’s needs and vulnerabilities and are able to respond to concerns with sensitivity. SAFETY means you feel secure and safe within the sexual setting. You are comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. You feel safe from the possibility of negative consequences, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, and physical injury. Spending time together and engaging in lots of honest, open communication are good ways to make sure that the CERTS conditions are operating in your relationship. That’s why we often recommend you build a strong friendship with a partner first, before becoming lovers. Meeting the CERTS conditions does not ensure that you’ll experience terrific sex, but it can help you feel secure knowing you’ve minimized the possibility of something bad resulting from your sexual experiences.
谢谢分享，这个五条好重要。 “ You accept each other’s needs and vulnerabilities and are able to respond to concerns with sensitivity.” 在卧室里提出自己的concern and needs，其实是满需要勇气的一件事，尤其是以前没有这样的沟通做铺垫。如果打算和对方聊性，聊自己的需求，先把这个五条一起捋一遍，这是个好的开始。
Consent, Equality, Respect, Trust, and Safety Let’s look at each of these conditions more closely: CONSENT means you can freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity. This means you are conscious, informed, and able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact. EQUALITY means your sense of personal power is on an equal level with your partner. Neither of you dominates or intimidates the other. RESPECT means you have positive regard for yourself and for your partner. You also feel respected by your partner based on how your partner is treating you. TRUST means you trust your partner on physical and emotional levels. You accept each other’s needs and vulnerabilities and are able to respond to concerns with sensitivity. SAFETY means you feel secure and safe within the sexual setting. You are comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. You feel safe from the possibility of negative consequences, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, and physical injury.
Spending time together and engaging in lots of honest, open communication are good ways to make sure that the CERTS conditions are operating in your relationship. That’s why we often recommend you build a strong friendship with a partner first, before becoming lovers.
Meeting the CERTS conditions does not ensure that you’ll experience terrific sex, but it can help you feel secure knowing you’ve minimized the possibility of something bad resulting from your sexual experiences.
原文链接： https://healthysex.com/healthy-sexuality/part-one-understanding/the-certs-model-for-healthy-sex/
好了我严肃，不开玩笑了。我学习学习。
在卧室里提出自己的concern and needs，其实是满需要勇气的一件事，尤其是以前没有这样的沟通做铺垫。如果打算和对方聊性，聊自己的需求，先把这个五条一起捋一遍，这是个好的开始。
哈哈哈哈，我不怕。经常被Peer review，和reviewer argue我有经验。
好期待看见你们咋argue，哈哈哈
我发现了，想要你来argue顶贴，一定要聊高潮，或和高潮相关的话题。
要不怎么是“潮水哥” 呐！