开玩笑! 我四五百首,各有各的精彩之处。 等我哪天全贴出来, 徐志摩,顾城算什么啊。。。。 切! 我这首英文的,不服,他俩写一个! https://pwwp.us/2020/05/83/ Doom’s Odious Harbinger 2018年冬天,去纽约上州的卡茨基尔山脉(Catskill Mountains)的几个滑雪场滑雪。住在当地的小木屋,每日开车往返雪山的路上,看到山脚和山上不少废弃的度假屋,有的甚至是很大的豪宅,都已经被废弃,有些都已经坍塌。触目感还是很impressive的。一时感慨,即兴写下这首英文诗《Doom’s Odious Harbinger》。关于纽约上州度假屋兴盛和衰落的原因,在诗后也有简单记述。 Dusk descends sooner still, darkening suddenly as I drive back home, and by the day’s swift end, I realize the summer of yesterday is gone. Opposing headlights loom – ethereal – illuminating in the abyss an enigmatic omen: a lifeless raccoon strewn along the roadside, long passed its perilous pain and struggle; some fallen leaves waltzing in the wind, like a passionless elegy being sung. Along the road and above on the hillside, pass abandoned sojourn cabins from time to time, some in ruins, collapsed and dilapidated, but a haunting aura flickers the glory of their pasts. For some reason, one most dark and eerie grips my sight, and I sense a great feast still lingers inside. In a wave of strangers floats the sultry hostess in a black silk dress luring a handsome guest with her seductive smile. He is chary, but helpless to resist her temptress charms. Was that me? But the house is gone before I am certain, as I drift down the road, now a river of time. The traffic suddenly slows with no cause in sight: no accidents, no closed lanes, no blue and red flashing lights, and just as sudden, the current picks up, an ebb and flow, as the prior tide resumes with no cause in sight. Faintly reflected in my rearview mirror, is a shrouded car devoid of headlights glowing. The danger is unnerving, but I wonder: am I more worried for him or for myself? But the car is gone before I am certain, changing lanes and charging past me, swerving into traffic and vanishing from my life. The neon lights of a passing Holiday Inn are jarring, making my trail seem stranger still. Insecurity seizes me in darkness and I feel as though I am driving through a deserted town in which I never wanted to be. I take my exit and continue to the bypass, turning left at the first traffic light, rushing the half second before the amber warning turns red. Relief washes over me, but I should not push my luck, for it is dark and such risks make me uneasy. Another intersection ahead shines a yellow beacon, so I stop and revel in the relaxing red glow. A large plane flying low crosses my windshield, right to left – heavy and steady yet impossibly quiet. As if I have been waiting for this moment all my life, I watch the plane disappear slowly into the night, taking my destiny away in flight.
开玩笑! 我四五百首,各有各的精彩之处。 等我哪天全贴出来, 徐志摩,顾城算什么啊。。。。 切! 我这首英文的,不服,他俩写一个! https://pwwp.us/2020/05/83/ Doom’s Odious Harbinger 2018年冬天,去纽约上州的卡茨基尔山脉(Catskill Mountains)的几个滑雪场滑雪。住在当地的小木屋,每日开车往返雪山的路上,看到山脚和山上不少废弃的度假屋,有的甚至是很大的豪宅,都已经被废弃,有些都已经坍塌。触目感还是很impressive的。一时感慨,即兴写下这首英文诗《Doom’s Odious Harbinger》。关于纽约上州度假屋兴盛和衰落的原因,在诗后也有简单记述。 Dusk descends sooner still, darkening suddenly as I drive back home, and by the day’s swift end, I realize the summer of yesterday is gone. Opposing headlights loom – ethereal – illuminating in the abyss an enigmatic omen: a lifeless raccoon strewn along the roadside, long passed its perilous pain and struggle; some fallen leaves waltzing in the wind, like a passionless elegy being sung. Along the road and above on the hillside, pass abandoned sojourn cabins from time to time, some in ruins, collapsed and dilapidated, but a haunting aura flickers the glory of their pasts. For some reason, one most dark and eerie grips my sight, and I sense a great feast still lingers inside. In a wave of strangers floats the sultry hostess in a black silk dress luring a handsome guest with her seductive smile. He is chary, but helpless to resist her temptress charms. Was that me? But the house is gone before I am certain, as I drift down the road, now a river of time. The traffic suddenly slows with no cause in sight: no accidents, no closed lanes, no blue and red flashing lights, and just as sudden, the current picks up, an ebb and flow, as the prior tide resumes with no cause in sight. Faintly reflected in my rearview mirror, is a shrouded car devoid of headlights glowing. The danger is unnerving, but I wonder: am I more worried for him or for myself? But the car is gone before I am certain, changing lanes and charging past me, swerving into traffic and vanishing from my life. The neon lights of a passing Holiday Inn are jarring, making my trail seem stranger still. Insecurity seizes me in darkness and I feel as though I am driving through a deserted town in which I never wanted to be. I take my exit and continue to the bypass, turning left at the first traffic light, rushing the half second before the amber warning turns red. Relief washes over me, but I should not push my luck, for it is dark and such risks make me uneasy. Another intersection ahead shines a yellow beacon, so I stop and revel in the relaxing red glow. A large plane flying low crosses my windshield, right to left – heavy and steady yet impossibly quiet. As if I have been waiting for this moment all my life, I watch the plane disappear slowly into the night, taking my destiny away in flight. pwwp 发表于 2020-08-24 15:25
这不就是有点像美囯这边的露天Farmers market或者每个周末的圩
你这有纯属挑刺的嫌疑啊。。他说的换行的学问啊,气息,声韵,节奏,结构等等的变化,还是有道理的啊。反正把我这外行看得一愣一愣的。哈哈
所以袁腾飞说跟唐诗宋词比,现代诗就是garbage
什么就像美国这边的,是美国学人家欧洲,好不好! 东施效颦,也没学好,还是要开车去,才行。
人家这是顺便遛弯就把菜买了拎着回家的节奏
袁老师懂个屁的现代诗。。。。哈哈
新来的不好意思,哪里敢造次。真心求问去哪里读。
我前面写了啊~~~
我整理了我写的意大利游记,7万多字,还想再精炼些。
稍后,贴给大家
贵在真诚~~~
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哪一楼?太高了爬不动啊。
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你先买个拐棍,慢慢爬吧。要不去参加隔壁夕阳红旅行团吧!
哈哈,小白兔真好糊弄,还气息,声韵,节奏,结构,你去掉明亮两个字试试看缺了啥。。
往返机票,600刀,月租400刀
1000刀,换你一个月的reborn般的崭新人生体验。。。
deal or no deal
算了,我还是去跳广场舞吧。
400刀可以月租啦?哪儿啊 我感觉亏大了,Airbnb 意大利起码60一天
诗里视觉这部分,强调的是,人生最后的体验是黑白的, 只有刺眼,读者是难以自动在脑海里产生这种对比感的画面的。
倾城和羽毛,是重力感的混乱和丧失
声响的变化,绝大部分人死时,最后丧失的是听觉。
哎,解释自己的诗,真的好痛苦。
意大利的海鲜和羊肉,可以让我忘却法拉盛。。。。
你自己体会下,你看似这么分行,觉得那啥,你自己读一下,气息的吞吐自如吗? 一直往里吸气的节奏,是不自然的。
你们不要不懂非装懂。。。
你们稍微懂一点点,再装懂也好啊
比如我这种。哈哈
不是银刀不在,我老来给你凑趣嘛,要不然怎么能体现出你梆梆作响的节奏呢?呵呵。。
奔着欧洲的羊肉去,每次都失望的很,一股子骚味!
哈哈,小心青年诗人看到你的评论,愤懑地冲过来说,你品你细品
无边的黑色倾城而至 一只柔软的白羽绒 飘向上空更黑更深处
这两句强烈的对比,不是很有画面感吗?
谢谢,贵在真诚。
就是这只猫。
拜托你讲点其他什么都好,这诗比欧洲羊肉都难吃
哎呀呀,我是写完上面的评论,才看到诗人的解释。看来我这会是看懂一点诗了哈。。
哲桑,是有文学功底的,他只是对新诗太有偏念。
讨论过多少次了,你翻我以前的帖子好了
人家哲桑的新诗写得也很好的,好伐?哈哈
开玩笑!
我四五百首,各有各的精彩之处。
等我哪天全贴出来, 徐志摩,顾城算什么啊。。。。
切!
我这首英文的,不服,他俩写一个!
https://pwwp.us/2020/05/83/
Doom’s Odious Harbinger
2018年冬天,去纽约上州的卡茨基尔山脉(Catskill Mountains)的几个滑雪场滑雪。住在当地的小木屋,每日开车往返雪山的路上,看到山脚和山上不少废弃的度假屋,有的甚至是很大的豪宅,都已经被废弃,有些都已经坍塌。触目感还是很impressive的。一时感慨,即兴写下这首英文诗《Doom’s Odious Harbinger》。关于纽约上州度假屋兴盛和衰落的原因,在诗后也有简单记述。
Dusk descends sooner still, darkening suddenly as I drive back home, and by the day’s swift end, I realize the summer of yesterday is gone.
Opposing headlights loom – ethereal – illuminating in the abyss an enigmatic omen: a lifeless raccoon strewn along the roadside, long passed its perilous pain and struggle; some fallen leaves waltzing in the wind, like a passionless elegy being sung.
Along the road and above on the hillside, pass abandoned sojourn cabins from time to time, some in ruins, collapsed and dilapidated, but a haunting aura flickers the glory of their pasts.
For some reason, one most dark and eerie grips my sight, and I sense a great feast still lingers inside. In a wave of strangers floats the sultry hostess in a black silk dress luring a handsome guest with her seductive smile. He is chary, but helpless to resist her temptress charms. Was that me? But the house is gone before I am certain, as I drift down the road, now a river of time.
The traffic suddenly slows with no cause in sight: no accidents, no closed lanes, no blue and red flashing lights, and just as sudden, the current picks up, an ebb and flow, as the prior tide resumes with no cause in sight.
Faintly reflected in my rearview mirror, is a shrouded car devoid of headlights glowing. The danger is unnerving, but I wonder: am I more worried for him or for myself? But the car is gone before I am certain, changing lanes and charging past me, swerving into traffic and vanishing from my life.
The neon lights of a passing Holiday Inn are jarring, making my trail seem stranger still. Insecurity seizes me in darkness and I feel as though I am driving through a deserted town in which I never wanted to be.
I take my exit and continue to the bypass, turning left at the first traffic light, rushing the half second before the amber warning turns red. Relief washes over me, but I should not push my luck, for it is dark and such risks make me uneasy. Another intersection ahead shines a yellow beacon, so I stop and revel in the relaxing red glow.
A large plane flying low crosses my windshield, right to left – heavy and steady yet impossibly quiet. As if I have been waiting for this moment all my life, I watch the plane disappear slowly into the night, taking my destiny away in flight.
你还算可以的,能点拨明白的。
有些女同学,比如那。。。算了,不点名了。。。。哈哈
人家中文不好,你这是果酱了。。
看看我随手随时就可以写下的诗。有时候,挥手而就,都不用改一个字。
四、五百首诗,闹着玩的嘛!
哲桑,你中文不好,就来品品英文诗吧。这首写得怎么样? 貌似你以前对歪哥的英文诗很欣赏吧。写纽约上州山水那首? 我那会儿还在默默潜水,当时没有说话,但对那个帖子印象还蛮深刻的耶~~~
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这种小城,歪哥如果年龄大了,会不会哪次站不稳,从上面滚下来?
你最近帖的新诗,我好像都有看过。时间的树这首,还有爱在威尼斯慢慢下沉那首,至少看过3遍以上。。哈哈
这首我兄弟箕水豹好像评过,不错的。他的观点跟我很近似。。
不会啊,写古体诗才好玩呢。寥寥数语,就能勾勒画面,表达情感,让人如入其境,言有尽而意无穷。。
不能同意更多。不建议歪哥长住,但可以一年玩几个月。
不认识。我只知道豹妈,她是俺闺蜜
宁静美好的景象和音乐,很soothing
可景象都是现代的,跟诗的古典气质不是很搭。而且,小声说,很多模仿的痕迹
也有种可能,你对现代诗的套路不熟悉而已。。哈哈。。
对,我不熟悉套路。你是说现代诗也有模仿的套路吗?
不会啊,写的是现代的景象,寻找的却是古诗词的意境。 踏歌而行,追寻唐诗宋词中的诗情画意。那么多灿烂诗篇,浩如烟海,灿若繁星。。
你,你真的觉得歪歪是现代诗的鼻、鼻、、鼻祖?
这难道也是问题吗?至少在这坛上算吧?哈哈。。哦,还漏了大诗人银刀。。他有几首荷尔蒙气息清淡一点的,还行啊。LOL
这个结论是这么得来的?我是觉着现代诗比较自由,没有那么多规矩,模仿的痕迹不明显
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唉,意大利人没那么高雅好不好
歪歪也是,所以有共振。。
他和意大利女人聊诗?🤣能行吗 我每次去意大利和人聊天,都是喝酒,喝高了说些七荤八素的特开心,意大利人左一个右一个贴面礼,抱抱,自然而然就成朋友了
这么便宜?我搜了伦敦西边的房租要好几千一个月,而且已经是便宜的了,贵的上万或出头,欧洲怎么租房便宜?这个你总能透露一下吧。
太美了,是什么城市?
意大利艺术是高雅的,很多生活细节是高雅的,但我也没说意大利人是高雅的啊, 我意大利游记里,第一个印象就是,意大利人讲话声音真大,打喷嚏毫不掩饰,等等细节。
Can‘t you just live by yourself, for yourself, with yourself, of yourself?
一个字,村
是啊, re-born, re-focus re-life, for a month, just 1000 bucks!
Call now, satisfied, 噶润体的! 哈哈
这可不能说, 倒时候你们也去了,干(四声)扰了我一个人平静的生活,怎么办?
1000刀一个月,entire villa,这风景,美吗? 每天就坐在这里,看着户外的蓝天白云,远山近溪。。。。
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/26801898/photos/537049646?location=San%20Zio%2C%20Metropolitan%20City%20of%20Florence%2C%20Italy&check_in=2020-10-31&check_out=2020-11-30&display_extensions%5B%5D=MONTHLY_STAYS&source_impression_id=p3_1598303806_MWrlupcGInG0xvEf
一个沉醉的陌生人, 住在一条陌生的长巷尽头; 孤独地用陌生的语言, 蘸着地中海的晨雾, 写了十首歪歪的诗。
原来你去的地方是意大利很荒凉的农村哪🤣
相由心生
不厚道地想将第一句改为 “一个装作沉醉的异乡人”,嘿嘿
你这是打击报复,哈哈
482 一个月,,,
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/18516544?location=Siena%2C%20Italy&check_in=2020-10-31&check_out=2020-11-30&display_extensions%5B%5D=MONTHLY_STAYS&source_impression_id=p3_1598304563_1R4POTb8%2Bpd9bS8b
哎呀,良心不安,不应该这样诋毁诗人哈。再改改。
一个试图沉醉的异乡人, 彷徨在一条陌生的长巷; 孤独地用陌生的语言, 蘸着地中海的晨雾, 写下无数首结着忧愁的诗。 哀怨又彷徨, 彷徨在悠长,悠长, 又寂寥的歪歪的小巷。
一个月暂住啊,我还以为提前退休呢,那可以,尤其大城市得换个幽静慢节奏的地方缓口气,但是这些不适合喜欢快节奏的人,各人爱好不同