Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
teenager的男孩,高三了,喜欢玩游戏,学习也兼顾了(全A)。虽然我有规定weekday 不许玩,但我知道他每天都有在玩游戏。学习也想兼顾,所以导致每天在电脑上的时间超过六七个小时,晚上睡得很晚。
今天没控制住,对他发火了,孩子说我不对,不要我了,要离家出走。
大家能给点意见吗,谢谢
谈过,规定十二点之前必须要上床,可经常拖到一两点
一直有想忍,可没忍住,唉
孩子爸说他游戏上瘾了,说是问题很严重,叫我必须要控制
我认识的也有和你儿子很像的男娃,后来上了小藤,都挺好的,不用过分担心。
很担心,要是上了大学之后没人管了,把所有睡眠时间都用来打游戏了咋办
请他自己控制,动动嘴真是容易
都11年纪,哪里是你想控制就能够控制的。孩子爹一句话说出来,自己怎么不管。
成绩还可以的话,跟他谈谈身体健康的重要性,尊重理解孩子,也要相信孩子。孩子自己也要学会负责了, 现在强行管制只会适得其反。 是时候放手了,否则大学反弹更厉害。
送给你这个
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
想到以后没人管更担心,却也无能为力
上大学以后可能通宵party,通宵喝酒,通宵打游戏,通宵在图书馆。。。。been there done that,上班以后还通宵加班呢,这不都活得好好的:))
孩子蛮stubborn的,不让步,会哭,说是我这个当妈的管的不对
你怎么这么不信任自己的孩子呢?那也要怪你自己教育无方。
回顾你自己的一生,就没有犯错过?不也是活得好好的,怎么就不相信自己的孩子能够懂道理负责任呢?
谈判时他答应12点睡了吗? 如果做不到有啥惩罚?
他跟孩子闹掰了,水火不容
说实话现在管已经晚了
具体的惩罚措施没讲好,以为他会遵守
劝你一句,现在这个年龄不要轻易用强硬措施,很可能适得其反。
我家老大高中时候跟你娃一样,我基本不管,就是要求注意身体健康,学习成绩要好。
平时可以聊聊提醒一下,但是一定要尊重他。
现在上大学了,挺自觉的。
不要太忧虑了。
孩子爸想用棍棒政策,没行通,
谢谢mm!
我同意,我也困惑
白天有忙的别的,晚上回家比如说六七点打开电脑后都是他的时间了
感觉你们和孩子关系没有处理好。然后你们教育孩子又容易停留在说教层面。
孩子已经很难听进去了。
现在今处理处理关系吧,融入小孩生活中。
心理上多多关心,生活上慢慢放手。
孩子爸做的比我更过分,说是他不听话,就不能呆在这个家里。
你没理解我的意思,打个比方吧,我娃还小,我老公希望他能多运动不要screen time太久,所以他身体力行,坚持带着娃一起运动,当然我不是说这样做就有效,或者看电视就不好,但作为家长,你如果有期望得先有行动啊,否则说教都没有底气,当然了你写的孩子成绩不错,那说明他时间精力分配上还行啊,我觉得完全没必要硬杠。
嗯,想改,
以前他小一点的时候,孩子爸管的非常厉害,你们懂的
孩子反抗,说是你们选择把我生在了美国,就不应该再用中国的那一套管教方式来教育我,我不接受
孩子跟他爸关系不是很好,孩子爸对他很苛刻
其实他也很可怜
我这做妈的心里也难受
什么意思?你儿子打游戏,你控制你自己?还是说他下命令让你去控制你儿子?——这人挺有意思的,要想你出马好好说嘛,还发EO……
首先已经是全A的学生,就稍微放松一点吧,如果偶尔为之,先提醒警告。其次告诉他你关注的是他的健康,不能长时间缺觉。最后如果已经达成共识,晚上十二点必须要上床,如果发现违规就断WI-FI,这点事先说好签字画押。
以前有一起运动,孩子爸要求太高,边运动边批评,孩子之后就不愿意了,抗拒
所以说啊,他这是鼓励别人运动的态度吗,就算他牛到专业运动员的水平,咱做一件事得先明确主要目的吧,是想培养出一个体育特长来,还是帮孩子多开发点活动减少screen time?你老公要是一直在这个育儿问题上转不过弯,孩子只会越推越远。
我觉得是这样,你要给他一个底线,并且也要跟他商量好越过底线的惩罚措施,越过了就罚。 如此之外,让他自己管理。如果大家都同意12点睡,他不睡你可以拉闸拉wifi,但是11点半到12点之间玩游戏,完全不管他。 你现在所谓家规形同虚设,靠发火怎么可能管用。
说的真好,
说他了,可他就是典型的那种必须严格要求自己的孩子,而对自己要求特低的人
好的,要跟他谈谈,态度很好,每次都点头,拖时间的时候每次都说是因为作业没做完
跟老公好好谈谈,对孩子要多看到优点,多看到进步,这种情况下其实孩子很希望能得到爸爸的认可。让爸爸把孩子当同事来对待,尊重和夸赞(我家爸爸就是这样爱批评,对其他孩子倒是宽容)。11年级标考都完成了吗?要把他的多余时间占掉,打工也好。
好的,要跟他谈谈,态度很好,每次都点头,拖时间的时候每次都说是因为作业没做完
你说的真对,
除了体育运动,孩子都做得很好了,可以说都做到最好了,可孩子爸总会说,学习有什么用,你看看别人家的孩子别的方面有多强。他从不夸奖孩子
这学期选了特别多的AP课,都要考试的吧,可他总要挤出时间玩一下
有打过工,就是给小小孩上上课
希望还不晚,不知道能不能做好
从不夸赞孩子的爸爸,一旦夸赞了威力是很大的 :)。爸爸夸奖其他孩子在别的方面强,那他有帮过自己孩子在那些方面吗?应该在自己身上找找原因,现在开始改善亲子关系还来得及。你家孩子明显学有余力,去打工,做义工都好,以后申请大学有东西可以写。有个朋友孩子写了游戏打到national 第六,也没被梦校录取哦 :)
讲真,心里没数的娃管他也不会变成有数娃,还影响亲子关系
握手我家有同款孩子