1. Why doesn't he love her anymore? 2. If you did something wrong, at least take your responsibility, "not your own fault"? Then whose it is? 3. She doesn't have a casse. Who is she fighting against for the so-called "happiness"? Do her own things? What is it?
Lesson learned: be nice to your family, to those who really cares about you, don't abuse their kindness, marriage is not an unlimited checking account, if you keep withdrawing and never deposit, someday it will be negative.
1. because shit happens.
2. They are not a good match.
3. Do her things, live her life.
4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言： 1. because shit happens. 2. They are not a good match. 3. Do her things, live her life. 4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact. [此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 14:30:44编辑过]
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言： 1. because shit happens. 2. They are not a good match. 3. Do her things, live her life. 4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact.
以下是引用 laura6400 的发言： 我觉得还是match不match的问题，不能match的话什么看着都不顺眼。mm只能自己站起来，迈过lg这个坎吧，再可惜也回不到过去了，只能往前看了 ★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.56 我觉得抖腿抠皮都是废话，因为有些女的总觉得分手离婚对方要给详细明确解释，把男的就逼成这样了。。。要说实话呢，要么不好听，要么对方不相信，要么对方说我改。。。。
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言： 1. because shit happens. 2. They are not a good match. 3. Do her things, live her life. 4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck. you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact.
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know... Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities... When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why".... I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point... However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted.... There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;) [此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:46:09编辑过]
以下是引用colehaanfan在5/24/2012 3:37:00 PM的发言： 男人女人都是至少有潜在下家才会坚决要离。你老公至少已经估过自己离婚后在单身市场上的前景，觉得没有销售困难所以才铁了心。 ★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.56 就不能是人家觉得现在的生活简直太悲惨，一个人过会比现在好很多？
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know... Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities... When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why".... I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point... However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted.... There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, we all have a lot of growing-up to do, ladies...hehe...;) [此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:40:35编辑过]
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know... Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities... When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why".... I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point... However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted.... There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;) [此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:46:09编辑过] Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
以下是引用perpetuity在5/24/2012 4:14:00 PM的发言： Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know... Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities... When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why".... I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point... However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted.... There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;)
Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
Why the husband becomes the bad guy when he decided enough is enough and he doesn't want the kinda marriage anymore because of some bad things the wife did? Was that written in the vow that he had to suffer for life because she likes so? Isn't it she throw out the "divorce and lawyer" to him? Shouldn't she be the bad guy? All of a sudden everyone is sympathetic to her because what, she is a woman? She wants to take the word back? I can promise you she said that before and she appologized for that, but she just couldn't control herself and said it again and again, then here it comes to the end. Will the result be different if husband fight back right away in the first place? Maybe, but he loved her, somewhere down the line, love was lost...
Why the husband becomes the bad guy when he decided enough is enough and he doesn't want the kinda marriage anymore because of some bad things the wife did? Was that written in the vow that he had to suffer for life because she likes so? Isn't it she throw out the "divorce and lawyer" to him? Shouldn't she be the bad guy? All of a sudden everyone is sympathetic to her because what, she is a woman? She wants to take the word back? I can promise you she said that before and she appologized for that, but she just couldn't control herself and said it again and again, then here it comes to the end. Will the result be different if husband fight back right away in the first place? Maybe, but he loved her, somewhere down the line, love was lost...
Most of the time this is true 以下是引用 娃娃脸雪糕 的发言： 啥意思? 没有出轨就不算fundamental problems么?离婚就一定因为有下家 或者 觉得会有下家么? ★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.52
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 13:59:37编辑过]
我最受不了吃饭吧叽嘴，还有吃完以后还吧叽的，遁了
米兔米兔
我觉得这个老公目前没下家，有下家的话早催着离婚了，现在她老公是看如果趁机打场翻身仗日子还能过得下去就过，正在气头上看楼主也烦。如果过段时间你们都冷静了又念旧情还好，如果正好有别的女的出现lz就危险了
是的
我的想法：
其实lz扪心自问一下 有个关键问题是 你为啥不想离婚？觉得很爱？不能够接受老公想离婚这个事实？没这个男人过不下去？怕自己找不到下家？
如果是出于对这个男人的爱 对这个感情的珍惜，那挽回还有意义。如果只是为了自己的自尊或者不想改变现状觉得有人纵容自己很好，那还是算了。你就算现在改了脾气总有一天还是会原形毕露的。
真心想换回的话，我觉得吧：
1. ld是个重要催化剂 lz在lg身边作得太多 ld让老公发现没有lz生活也许更惬意
2. 我不觉得男人有下家 就是心冷了。lzlg其实听上去是个还算靠谱的男人。几年婚姻，lz个性不好的话，开始能容忍,lg开始肯定是很爱的。但是男人要自尊 也要关怀，有些行为伤害了他，一下子心凉了顿时就觉得为什么生活里面还要lz这个女人。CC律师信这种，就是不尊重lzlg的又一次体现，”我想怎样就怎样“这个态度 真的很伤人心也很伤感情。
3. lz打温情牌到底能不能成功，很难说，和这个男人本身的个性也有关，旁人下不了定论。我觉得关心老公不要太用力，大忌是体现出”不能够接受他离开而努力挽回婚姻“而刻意作出的努力。不要逼他，不要总是联系他，你让自己慢慢好起来，该关心他的地方不要忘掉，他在意你自然会看到你的努力，如果不行，也就当改掉自己的毛病，你也不亏。
4.long distance的事情，现在也不要自己一头热说非要和lg团聚，男人受伤的时候一个人冷静一下也好，而且现在急着要改变异地也是我上面说的”太刻意”，如果和老公的关系有缓和（至少是lg愿意暂时不谈离婚的事情），马上抓紧改变异地的现状。
她作归作，网上回复脾气可真是好，关键是美女，我看到就骨头软了
哪里有pp？
re～～～真的爱一个人，小毛病都是可爱的，
问题是lz不光有一堆小毛病，还有一堆大毛病。把爱都磨没有了。
居然没有人拍LZ老公开车还要牵着LZ的手的？？？？LZ你也好意思拿出来说啊。 最讨厌这种潜在危害公众安全的了。
好像不是lz的老公
我ex开车也喜欢伸只手抓我的手，当时觉得好sweet，后来觉得这人怎么这么没安全意识。。。真是灯下黑
你的好，不过他的不算过分，没有必要强求一致。跟恍腿吧唧嘴性质不一样
估计每个人标准不一样。我爸看到谁的筷子放桌子上，立马就觉的不能忍了。他觉的筷子上有唾液，放桌子上特恶心。别人在他面前抖下腿，他都看不见的
哪里有pp？
都删了。后来有个人放了几张照片上来，还全是不好看的那几张
都删了。后来有个人放了几张照片上来，还全是不好看的那几张
心酸自己奔的时候我没看到，后来别人贴的几张，我觉得已经非常好看了，竟然你说全都不好看
以下是引用yangzhu165在5/24/2012 1:58:00 PM的发言：
居然没有人拍LZ老公开车还要牵着LZ的手的？？？？LZ你也好意思拿出来说啊。 最讨厌这种潜在危害公众安全的了。
心酸自己奔的时候我没看到，后来别人贴的几张，我觉得已经非常好看了，竟然你说全都不好看
啊，这是著名的华人第一美女心酸妹妹的求助贴？
我觉得这个老公目前没下家，有下家的话早催着离婚了，现在她老公是看如果趁机打场翻身仗日子还能过得下去就过，正在气头上看楼主也烦。如果过段时间你们都冷静了又念旧情还好，如果正好有别的女的出现lz就危险了
啊，这是著名的华人第一美女心酸妹妹的求助贴？
当然不是
你提的都是些鸡毛蒜皮的阿
如果就因为这个离婚
那还是赶紧离了吧
心酸自己奔的时候我没看到，后来别人贴的几张，我觉得已经非常好看了，竟然你说全都不好看
有一张还行，她的平均水平吧。有那么两三张，是真心的不好看
奉上原话，“当一个男人不再爱他的女人，她哭闹是错，静默也是错，活着呼吸是错，死了也是错。”，还有一句也是师太的，“我爱他，但是我爱自己更多。我不会为男人做无谓的牺牲，因为我自爱， 只有自爱的人才有资格爱人。如果我不符合你的标准，请你自便。”师太真是睿智，lz应该多学习啊，好好爱自己，让自己变得精彩，即使有一天他要离开，也要微笑着说再见。不过lzlg说的毛病真心要改啊，抖腿还有嘴巴的问题，对于女孩子是大硬伤啊，不可以有的。。。
strongly re!!!
其实我也知道，这些人就是下意识的紧张，但是可以用其他不伤害别人的方法替代啊，比如喝水，比如拼命吃饭，ETC。说到底，这些人经过我反复提醒后还是选择拼命晃腿，造成我反复眩晕呕吐，有时还要就医（医生说我倒是还好，反应正常，很多耳管神经敏感的人都这样会害怕晃腿/手/脑，倒是那些经过劝阻却几个小时仍然坚持拼命晃腿的人应该去看一下心理医生）--只能说明这些人为了自己的一时放松，以牺牲别人的健康为代价，还反复坚持伤害别人，太自私！
LZMM的老公要是也跟我一样耳管神经敏感的话，那他这些年可真是不容易啊。 对了，这个晃腿是会促发“美尼尔氏综合症”的，这一旦被促发可就是终身的病啦。
Grow up, some people will never learn the lesson.
1. Why doesn't he love her anymore?
2. If you did something wrong, at least take your responsibility, "not your own fault"? Then whose it is?
3. She doesn't have a casse. Who is she fighting against for the so-called "happiness"? Do her own things? What is it?
Lesson learned: be nice to your family, to those who really cares about you, don't abuse their kindness, marriage is not an unlimited checking account, if you keep withdrawing and never deposit, someday it will be negative.
1. because shit happens.
2. They are not a good match.
3. Do her things, live her life.
4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 14:30:44编辑过]
我最怕别人在我面前抖腿, 尤其是吃饭或者聊天的时候！那晃腿晃得简直是惊天动地，经久不停！我每次看得眼晕头晕，强迫自己把视线转向其他地方， 最后还是有几次没坚持住，当面被别人的腿晃晕得吐出来！！！到这份上还是有人在我面前不长记性一样拼命的晃腿！！！
其实我也知道，这些人就是下意识的紧张，但是可以用其他不伤害别人的方法替代啊，比如喝水，比如拼命吃饭，ETC。说到底，这些人经过我反复提醒后还是选择拼命晃腿，造成我反复眩晕呕吐，有时还要就医（医生说我倒是还好，反应正常，很多耳管神经敏感的人都这样会害怕晃腿/手/脑，倒是那些经过劝阻却几个小时仍然坚持拼命晃腿的人应该去看一下心理医生）--只能说明这些人为了自己的一时放松，以牺牲别人的健康为代价，还反复坚持伤害别人，太自私！
LZMM的老公要是也跟我一样耳管神经敏感的话，那他这些年可真是不容易啊。 对了，这个晃腿是会促发“美尼尔氏综合症”的，这一旦被促发可就是终身的病啦。
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言：
1. because shit happens.
2. They are not a good match.
3. Do her things, live her life.
4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact.
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 14:30:44编辑过]
之后你做什么他都觉得烦。。
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
re
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言：
1. because shit happens.
2. They are not a good match.
3. Do her things, live her life.
4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact.
赞你们俩英语都很好， 我还很少看到英语吵架这么长， 还Makes sense的。。不过我看你们俩好像意见已经统一了？
lz不努力挽回的话，肯定没戏
lz努力挽回的话，将来就要给lg做牛做马了
lz现在把自己折腾的地位很尴尬
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:20:19编辑过]
以下是引用 laura6400 的发言：
我觉得还是match不match的问题，不能match的话什么看着都不顺眼。mm只能自己站起来，迈过lg这个坎吧，再可惜也回不到过去了，只能往前看了
★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.56
我觉得抖腿抠皮都是废话，因为有些女的总觉得分手离婚对方要给详细明确解释，把男的就逼成这样了。。。要说实话呢，要么不好听，要么对方不相信，要么对方说我改。。。。
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
我想起那句不爱你了，你连呼吸都是错的。。。。。
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:29:43编辑过]
以下是引用jlo在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言：
1. because shit happens.
2. They are not a good match.
3. Do her things, live her life.
4. I do agree to be kind and patient to her husband. But there is a reason for everything.
Well leaving the marriage is not the end of the world. We all need to learn but there is a balance of everything.
Before you ask me to grow up, you might want to grow up yourself first.
From the way you talk, it's hard to imagine you are a good wife.
Good luck.
you are right, shit happens all the time, this is a crappy world, what do we expect? But at least for her, it is not that easy to simply get up and walk away, for whatever reason she might have, she may still love him? she may be just afraid of living alone? or she may be just afraid of never meeting someone like him again. yes, that's the reality of the world. that's what keeping her so scared. But if she doesn't learn from this (doesn't seem like she learned from the past given the problem she is facing now), doesn't learn to take responsibility for her act, she is doomed to make the same mistake again, I just cannot imagine there would be another Mr. Right dog waiting somewhere just for her. BTW: you are right, I am not a good wife, I am not even a wife. :) Sorry if my word offended you. I just don't think your suggestion really benefits lz here. You are not her, you just don't know what she has been going through, walking away like a hero probably is not her thing. That's just a fact.
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know...
Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities...
When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why"....
I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point...
However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted....
There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;)
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:46:09编辑过]
够靓，
我马上倒戈了。
以下是引用beatContra在5/24/2012 2:04:00 PM的发言：
心酸自己奔的时候我没看到，后来别人贴的几张，我觉得已经非常好看了，竟然你说全都不好看
居然没有人拍LZ老公开车还要牵着LZ的手的？？？？LZ你也好意思拿出来说啊。 最讨厌这种潜在危害公众安全的了。
我拍！一对马路杀手秀恩爱不分场合！由此可见之前lzlg有多宠lz，lz侍宠若娇作天作地自找苦吃...........
以下是引用rangerma在5/24/2012 2:26:00 PM的发言：
我最怕别人在我面前抖腿, 尤其是吃饭或者聊天的时候！那晃腿晃得简直是惊天动地，经久不停！我每次看得眼晕头晕，强迫自己把视线转向其他地方， 最后还是有几次没坚持住，当面被别人的腿晃晕得吐出来！！！到这份上还是有人在我面前不长记性一样拼命的晃腿！！！
其实我也知道，这些人就是下意识的紧张，但是可以用其他不伤害别人的方法替代啊，比如喝水，比如拼命吃饭，ETC。说到底，这些人经过我反复提醒后还是选择拼命晃腿，造成我反复眩晕呕吐，有时还要就医（医生说我倒是还好，反应正常，很多耳管神经敏感的人都这样会害怕晃腿/手/脑，倒是那些经过劝阻却几个小时仍然坚持拼命晃腿的人应该去看一下心理医生）--只能说明这些人为了自己的一时放松，以牺牲别人的健康为代价，还反复坚持伤害别人，太自私！
LZMM的老公要是也跟我一样耳管神经敏感的话，那他这些年可真是不容易啊。 对了，这个晃腿是会促发“美尼尔氏综合症”的，这一旦被促发可就是终身的病啦。
心酸的BLOG我正经看过了。
够靓，
我马上倒戈了。
哪里有啊，听了好久了，从来没见过！
我是在她删之前默默地翻了她的相册。
够正点。
以下是引用yeisa在5/24/2012 3:32:00 PM的发言：
哪里有啊，听了好久了，从来没见过！
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
exactly.
赞你们俩英语都很好， 我还很少看到英语吵架这么长， 还Makes sense的。。不过我看你们俩好像意见已经统一了？
我顿时感觉自己相当没文化
人家早就删了啊。
我是在她删之前默默地翻了她的相册。
够正点。
唉，蹲点不得力啊。心酸整个儿一个在水一方啊。
★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.56
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
是的。
男人女人都是至少有潜在下家才会坚决要离。你老公至少已经估过自己离婚后在单身市场上的前景，觉得没有销售困难所以才铁了心。
★ Sent from iPhone App: i-Reader Huaren Lite 7.56
就不能是人家觉得现在的生活简直太悲惨，一个人过会比现在好很多？
以下是引用抹茶红豆包在5/24/2012 11:59:00 AM的发言：
你还是要正视自己的生活。如果还想挽回。不想离婚。就先努力工作。找找机会能否move去老公那里。否则结婚LD太不像样子了。至于说努力生活。赶紧做一件你老公以前一直希望你做。你又一直没做过的事情？尝试多交点朋友
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:44:42编辑过]
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know...
Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities...
When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why"....
I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point...
However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted....
There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, we all have a lot of growing-up to do, ladies...hehe...;)
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:40:35编辑过]
赞英语好， 我就觉得他俩说法没矛盾啊，你这段英语把他俩的英语统一起来了。。
LZ 这事情真是让我想起小时候我有个朋友。也算是很有缘分同学了好几年一起上学还住一个宿舍。每次闹起来那个烦啊，总是闹起来就写绝交书逼我签名，不签名她就一直麻烦其他同学持续给我传纸条，问我为啥不签名，非逼你把绝交书给签了不可，签名完了过不了几天她就又把绝交书撕了。然后过几天又逼我签名。第一次我还挺紧张的，问她为啥要签绝交书。后面几次真是烦死了。后来分了重点班不见面了我那个哈皮啊
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:44:42编辑过]
她其实就是想证明给全世界看她对你很重要，你很在乎她
所以还是不能两地。话说我也在两地啊，最迟明年一定要搬到一起。
保佑大家的婚姻都牢固吧！！！！！！
LZ 这事情真是让我想起小时候我有个朋友。也算是很有缘分同学了好几年一起上学还住一个宿舍。每次闹起来那个烦啊，总是闹起来就写绝交书逼我签名，不签名她就一直麻烦其他同学持续给我传纸条，问我为啥不签名，非逼你把绝交书给签了不可，签名完了过不了几天她就又把绝交书撕了。然后过几天又逼我签名。第一次我还挺紧张的，问她为啥要签绝交书。后面几次真是烦死了。后来分了重点班不见面了我那个哈皮啊
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:44:42编辑过]
她跟你绝交，要跟你签绝交信啊
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
她跟你绝交，要跟你签绝交信啊
这个真把我笑死了
以下是引用BirdBB123在5/24/2012 3:29:00 PM的发言：
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know...
Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities...
When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why"....
I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point...
However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted....
There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;)
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 15:46:09编辑过]
Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
找离婚律师然后CC老公
这只是个导火索而已，以前lz在生活中估计非常作才能到这个程度吧
其实我这么说吧。你老公批评你神码抖腿。都是扯淡。看你不顺眼的时候，就是罪无可恕。爱你疼你的时候，就是小迷糊小可爱。
对亚，要是真心爱你不该在乎这种事情啊。
所以lz也不要太天真了。。。
我觉得这个老公目前没下家，有下家的话早催着离婚了，现在她老公是看如果趁机打场翻身仗日子还能过得下去就过，正在气头上看楼主也烦。如果过段时间你们都冷静了又念旧情还好，如果正好有别的女的出现lz就危险了
我也觉得这个老公应该没有下家。以前有几个类似的帖子，基本能看出来老公至少是有对比的对象了。但这个帖子目前看来还没有。她老公是在气头上，觉得lz还是有希望能挽回的，但要花点时间耐心，要解决ld, 也要互相留空间，不要招人烦。
心酸的BLOG我正经看过了。
够靓，
我马上倒戈了。
我也是当场倒戈
对亚，要是真心爱你不该在乎这种事情啊。
所以lz也不要太天真了。。。
真爱也许可以不在乎那些小事情，但是除了父母对子女以外，没有什么爱是可以永远经受一切折腾的
以下是引用perpetuity在5/24/2012 4:14:00 PM的发言： Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
lz实在太应该反思了
以下是引用BirdBB123在5/24/2012 3:29:00 PM的发言：
It's not as simple & straight-forward as you think.. But you are not married yet, you wouldn't know...
Marraige is a business of two partners, most of time, it's not just simply "one" person's fault when marriage goes wrong, it's both partners' responsibilities...
When a person doesn't love someone anymore, there's not always a "why"....
I don't think jlo was asking lz to "walk away", to my understanding, she could suggest that lz gives each other some space and focus on improving herself and doing her thing, ..it's really not completely up to her anymore at this point...
However, I do agree with you that we need to be nice to our loved ones, and not to take them for granted....
There are lots of things in this world that are out of our control, but at least we should control ourselves and always strike to be a better person...
Last but not least, cheers, ladies, we all have a lot of growing-up to do!...hehe...;)
Sorry to confuse you ladies, when I said "I am not even a wife" I really meant "I am not even a woman", so I am just trying to talk over the other side of the fence here.
Sorry to jlo, fight is a strong word, I didn't think too much when I read that line. Simply leaving the husband alone will not solve the problem. lz made a huge mistake in the first place, it is really not a war she can and should fight. She took the husband's love for granted and abused it with something she should have never said, at least I don't think the husband deserves the threat with "divorce and lawyer". And I think that's why she paniced and came here for help, why? Because she knows she deserved to be scared and he didn't deserve the treatment of a threat.
That's why I would suggest she calms down, recognizes the mistake she has made just now and in the past, do not do anything dramatic or stupid, gives her hustand time and space to think it over, if and BIG IF, she really still loves him instead of loving being loved and being treated like a queen, and also, he still really loves her.
Again, my point is, if you make a mistake, man up and accept the consequences, don't just walk away like "I have tried, you just don't give a damn about my effort, why should I be sorry for what I have done?".
Final word: care about your loved ones, even your other half, your parents, don't take their love for granted. It's not fair to them.
赞文化人。我竟然看完了，也赞我自己一个，英语终于有长进了
以下是引用yaocen在5/24/2012 3:40:00 PM的发言：
就不能是人家觉得现在的生活简直太悲惨，一个人过会比现在好很多？
re，多大点P事，lg拿来要挟人，这lg很阴险，绝对外面有人了
看着不像有，不能什么事都怪男的。都给律师写信了，真是太过分了。男人还不能有点脾气唠叨点了。
离婚就一定因为有下家 或者 觉得会有下家么?
以下是引用colehaanfan在5/24/2012 4:26:00 PM的发言：
I am referring to cases without fundamental problems such as affair etc.
BTW: I just hate some double standards here.
Why the husband becomes the bad guy when he decided enough is enough and he doesn't want the kinda marriage anymore because of some bad things the wife did? Was that written in the vow that he had to suffer for life because she likes so? Isn't it she throw out the "divorce and lawyer" to him? Shouldn't she be the bad guy? All of a sudden everyone is sympathetic to her because what, she is a woman? She wants to take the word back? I can promise you she said that before and she appologized for that, but she just couldn't control herself and said it again and again, then here it comes to the end. Will the result be different if husband fight back right away in the first place? Maybe, but he loved her, somewhere down the line, love was lost...
100%有下家了，一比较，你不如下家可爱动人，所以都是缺点
我觉得10%有下家。
lzlg拿抖腿说事, 无非是:
1. lzlg倾诉lz毛病, 这也是毛病, 为啥说不得? 就说了
2. lzlg觉得自己的话没有得到尊重, 已经让lz不抖腿无数次, 未果
3. 被lz作死, 看到lz就烦, 自然会想起方方面面lz的各种不好
lzlg也是人, 不是神, 不要拿神的标准对待他
如果lz确实很可爱温柔, 这些小问题自然也就过去了
可是偏偏作死, 那就杯具了咯
不过我对抖腿的也有点晕
完蛋了，我也抖腿啊。。。咋办啊，回去赶紧问问zt是不是烦，我得赶紧改
BTW: I just hate some double standards here.
Why the husband becomes the bad guy when he decided enough is enough and he doesn't want the kinda marriage anymore because of some bad things the wife did? Was that written in the vow that he had to suffer for life because she likes so? Isn't it she throw out the "divorce and lawyer" to him? Shouldn't she be the bad guy? All of a sudden everyone is sympathetic to her because what, she is a woman? She wants to take the word back? I can promise you she said that before and she appologized for that, but she just couldn't control herself and said it again and again, then here it comes to the end. Will the result be different if husband fight back right away in the first place? Maybe, but he loved her, somewhere down the line, love was lost...
我觉得你是男人哎。另外我声明一下，我同意你说的。
我也同意他说的 华人姑娘大妈确实有一部分公主病双重标准
以下是引用flatfish01在5/24/2012 4:36:00 PM的发言：
我觉得你是男人哎。另外我声明一下，我同意你说的。
以下是引用小妞儿在5/24/2012 4:36:00 PM的发言：
不抖坐久了腿会麻哎。。。。
抖腿什么的太minor了，怎么跟要求又红又专进步青年似的，我觉得这些都不是主要的问题。
大家不要纠结抖腿扯嘴唇皮了，这些都不是重点。这些只是这个lg受不了lz的原因以外的小芝麻，是lg抱怨时一起想起来的一些边角余料。反正都爆发了，数落罪名了，索性陈芝麻烂谷子都抖出来一块儿说了痛快。
对亚，要是真心爱你不该在乎这种事情啊。
所以lz也不要太天真了。。。
lz问题很大, 要下痛心改过, 否则总有一天爱真的会作没了
以下是引用smore在5/24/2012 4:32:00 PM的发言：
我觉得10%有下家。
看了这个帖子，我趁着身边无人，使劲儿地抖了10分钟腿。
以下是引用smore在5/24/2012 4:38:00 PM的发言：
大家不要纠结抖腿扯嘴唇皮了，这些都不是重点。这些只是这个lg受不了lz的原因以外的小芝麻，是lg抱怨时一起想起来的一些边角余料。反正都爆发了，数落罪名了，索性陈芝麻烂谷子都抖出来一块儿说了痛快。
I am referring to cases without fundamental problems such as affair etc.
诚然不同的人底线不同，不过作成lz那样，我相信不少人会觉得是没法过下去的大问题。
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他前面说了他是男人
我也同意他说的 华人姑娘大妈确实有一部分公主病双重标准
哈哈...
大家都是成年人, 要为自己的行为负责, 是有consequences的, 不能想当然认为自己是女人就可以get away...
有些感情, 伤了就很难弥补了...
唉, 要是我当年年少轻狂时能明白这点就好了...
[此贴子已经被作者于2012/5/24 16:42:39编辑过]
申明，我没看内容，不知道他啥观点，
话说一个男人在这个帖子里大段大段发表言论，真稀罕。。。。。
申明，我没看内容，不知道他啥观点，
看看吧，人语文不错
以下是引用beatContra在5/24/2012 2:04:00 PM的发言：
心酸自己奔的时候我没看到，后来别人贴的几张，我觉得已经非常好看了，竟然你说全都不好看
以下是引用 娃娃脸雪糕 的发言：
啥意思? 没有出轨就不算fundamental problems么?离婚就一定因为有下家 或者 觉得会有下家么?
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以下是引用lostandfound在5/24/2012 4:44:00 PM的发言：
别人贴的那几张我也看过，我觉得有点像许还幻，人群中绝对美女了