I am an overseas student. What I feel deeply about the Japanese is their character. The longer I stay in Japan, the more I can feel how incisive the saying "there is little ceremony but no justice" is.
The Japanese are good at hypocrisy and politeness on the surface. Many people come to Japan to travel and praise the waiters for their polite services, but they don't know that others may use the most vicious words to scold you, and you will turn around and be a fool. I once had a class and was divided into a group with a Japanese girl. There were many Chinese in this group. This person is very happy and polite with us in class. After class, I even said all kinds of bad things about us to other Japanese people. It seemed that we had done something heinous. It is an ordinary and meaningless lesson, as for? The key person did not look unhappy in person.
There are also Japanese people who desperately apologize for small things. Sometimes when you bump into a Japanese while walking, the other person may apologize loudly first. But the Japanese will never admit that they have made mistakes in major events. My classmate broke his leg when he was riding a bicycle by a Japanese driver. In the case of conclusive evidence, the other party simply refused to compensate or admit. Finally, I just said that the student's leg was broken because of osteoporosis? The key police also protect the Japanese. The complaint took more than half a year, but no compensation has yet been claimed.
For another example, my tutor was busy with her own affairs recently, regardless of the students. As a result, there was a Japanese senior who had not finished her thesis in time. More than a month before the oral defense, the tutor found that she had not finished her thesis. His first reaction was to discuss with another teacher and send the girl some information to remind her to write the paper, leaving evidence that she had guided her. It was her own reason that the paper was not finished. We also discussed how to record the conversation with the girl and leave evidence... Speechless, this is the japanese teacher. For something as simple as an undergraduate thesis, Chinese teachers usually help them to finish it in a week. They actually don't want to help but make up excuses.
So I fully understand why the Japanese refused to admit their mistakes and shirked their responsibilities in the issues of comfort women, World War II and Fukushima nuclear power plant. Because this is their national character.
In addition, the bullying in Japan is different from the direct hitting and swearing in China. The Japanese want to bully a person, that is, everyone ignores you and finally leads to psychological collapse. Maybe this has a little bit to do with it.
In addition, they are not without advantages. They are usually more comfortable in making friends with Japanese, because under the influence of the culture of observing words and expressions, the emotional intelligence of Japanese people is not too low.
Most Japanese people are very polite to their non intimate friends (although many Japanese people donot have intimate friends). They generally respect you and praise others when they have nothing to do, such as "xx Jun You Yu!", Although most of them are hypocritical and polite, they are always comfortable.
If you do something wrong, or if you stab the other person, the other person is unhappy. Japanese friends will basically pretend that nothing has happened. They will bear it in their own hearts, and some people will stumble secretly.
Compared with Chinese friends, Chinese people or Chinese people in Japan are nothing more than retorts or brags.
对比中国朋友，中国人或是在日本的中国人，最多不过是反驳或抬杠。
Say more about the characteristics of Japanese:
再说说日本人的特性:
Most of them are timid and introverted: this is very obvious. When communicating with Japanese, you can see it by looking at their facial expressions.
大多胆小内敛:这个非常明显，和日本人交流的时候，看面部表情一看能看出。
Therefore, if you want to make friends with the Japanese, you should take the initiative. It is basically difficult for others to find you.
所以想和日本人交朋友推荐主动一点，等别人找你基本很难。
The Japanese are rich in heart and have many ideas.
日本人内心丰富，想法特别多。
The outside is cold and the inside is hot, and it is grumpy. After drinking, the Japanese male friends around began to talk dirty jokes. The more topics they talked about later, the more disgusting they became. They completely ignored the people at the tables around them. Later, as a boy, I couldn't stand it. Obviously, everyone was very serious before drinking. The most interesting thing is that when we met the next day, it was as if nothing had happened last night.
Most Japanese people are gentle and will not easily dispute with you. If there is any possible dispute, most Japanese friends choose to carry the blame on themselves and will not blame you easily. However, once the Japanese psychological low line is passed, that is the end of friendship.
In general, if you want to study in Japan, you are recommended to step on the Japanese circle with half your foot and the Chinese circle with half your foot, so as to maximize the benefits.
总体来说，如果来日本留学，推荐半只脚踩日本人圈子，半只脚踩国人圈子，这样利益最大化。
It will be more oppressive to mix with the Japanese, and the personality is easy to be led to deviation. If you want to return to China, it will be very unfavorable for you to communicate with the Japanese.
全部和日本人混一起会比较压抑，性格容易被带跑偏，如果要回国或者对和国人交往会很不利。
波兰网友丹尼尔•迈克劳瑞的回答
This is their tradition and standard. In this sense, yes, they must be polite, they must show it, otherwise they will lose "face" in front of others, which they really donot want, so in their society, in most cases, they are forced to do so.
Many foreigners are blinded by their political nature, believing that they are always so cute and polite, and they may have gold hearts. Well, it's not entirely true. Yes, the stereotype is always bad. I know there are good and bad people everywhere, but in Japan, this is a standard, which means that even if they don't think so, they will still behave politely, or they will greet and send off in a polite way.
They have a culture of not showing off their true selves and emotions. They have a hard shell that almost no one can break. Perhaps they are the closest friends or wives/husbands who can break up, but they will not even open their hearts to ordinary friends like the West.
I have never been to Japan, but I tried to communicate with them online. I encountered this hypocritical courtesy. I came from a small country, and I realized that the Japanese view foreigners as follows: the West=the United States, Canada, Australia, Britain, and they have a very narrow view of the world around them.
So, I am a Westerner, but I come from an unpopular country. They have never been interested in talking to me. They only gave me a reply. They all said at the end, "I hope we can talk more" or "look forward to your information", but they never actively talked with me. When I even asked about this, two Japanese people used the same stupid excuse to explain why they did not reply to my news before... So, yes, they are very hypocritical, not as beautiful as we saw at first sight, because no one can see them, in this case, they will not lose "face", because no one can see their online way.
As a person who likes a lot of things in Japan, I am shocked, but I have to realize that they have many dark society problems that I refused to believe before, because I am a Japanese fan. Now I am more realistic about them. They are far from perfect. If you observe them deeply, their society has serious problems.
I want to answer this question in order to arouse all the terrible Japanese I have seen. They really have different faces under their masks. Japan has some ugly aspects that people seldom talk about.
At the same time, I don't want to treat people in the whole country equally just because of these types of people. I also don't want people to think that every polite person is fake, because some people are real. I want to say simply that it is not as black and white as politeness and hypocrisy.
I don't think all forms of false courtesy are bad.
我不认为所有形式的假礼貌都是坏的。
Who doesn't pretend to be polite in order to be professional or mature? We will all do this. If you haven't done this, you will find that you have to do this one day. You will encounter a very terrible customer, colleague, manager, employer and neighbor. They will make you have to do something. In addition to being polite, you will also stand up involuntarily and act in a civilized manner at that moment, otherwise you will face uncontrollable consequences. Politeness has a certain degree of self-discipline. It will generally make you get a better result, such as a big order, promotion and salary increase, or even a smile.
Customer service is a more specific example of why false politeness alsoneeds to exist. The service needs to reach a consistent standard of politeness. No matter how they feel, they will implement it. If not, then tired people will begin to show fatigue, and depressed people will show depression. Some things are better hidden under the mask. Many Japanese have no place to vent due to social pressure, but they have to focus on what needs to be done at the moment, giving priority to personal needs and social expectations. (But this does not mean that everyone in customer service is hypocritical. I think most people will try to be sincere, but if they encounter pressure, unpredictable behavior will occur).
Another note is that in the United States, from the perspective of people in other countries, friendly manners may be false, because in other countries, society does not expect people to always be happy and talkative. Ignorance of cultural differences may make you feel that one way is "more fake" than another.
In the United States, even though most people donot always really want to hear the answers of others, and these answers deviate from the default "I am very good" or "very good", people will ask others how they are doing. Therefore, even in the United States, there are some polite manners that are not always sincere.
I believe that when false courtesy is combined with narcissism, lack of empathy, manipulation, selfishness and/or racism, it becomes toxic.
我认为，当假礼貌与自恋、缺乏同理心、操纵、自私和/或种族主义情绪相结合时，它就会变得有毒。
Most of the everyday false manners are white lies. But this does not negate the fact that true politeness also exists.
大多数日常的假礼貌都是善意的谎言。但这并不能否定真正的礼貌也存在的事实。
In short, everyone in any country has the ability to pretend to be polite. This is not unique to the Japanese. Due to cultural differences, the Japanese just have different methods, but they are everywhere.
日本人像自己自稱的那樣誠實嗎？。
權威的Quora上只舉6個住日本的外國人這樣回答。 Are Japanese claimed to be honest?
1) Johnny Utah, lives in Japan (2010-present)
Answered Oct 2
While I believe that people all over the world are the same, I will point out that the justice system in Japan is extremely corrupt.
If you are accused of a crime in Japan (even if you are innocent) the police charge you as guilty without a trial and without evidence.
There are countless horror stories online and stories I have heard from friends about situations where they were suddenly scooped up by police and interrogated for hours, then thrown into a jail cell for months…with no evidence proving them guilty other than arbitrary he said/she said nonsense.
The police basically blackmail all criminal suspects with long jail sentences and heavy fines if they refuse to admit that they are guilty…what a joke this country is. Quite the polar opposite of “innocent until proven guilty” which is used in the US.
I like to phrase the system here “guilty until proven guilty”.
2) Johnny Smith, lives in Japan
Answered Aug 6, 2017
Japan is really no different than another! It’s full of crimes and robberies!.
People are people, and there are going to be cheaters and criminals in any place, and Japan is no different.
Poorer and seedier places are always going to be more prone to crimes than other places.
3) Vincent Detroyat, Aircraft Safety Engineer
Answered Oct 20, 2017
I'm living here for 6 months now.
one it is hidden, they are like several people: drunk, fight, stole, etc… we don't know what happened behind the window. And for a foreigner, it is hard to know it. People will not say that the country is not safe etc…
Some companies are not so clean that they want to show us (Yakuza and cie could contribute to). Making false contract, handles some bad men to perform a job, abusive power… exists here too, maybe more than other countries. But everybody will close his eyes (remember the 3 monkeys…).
If a girl is raped in a train, nobody will try to help her… because everybody thinks “it is not my problem, if I help, I will have problem…”.
4)Ken Seeroi, That
Updated Aug 12, 2017
Absolutely not. I’ve lived here for over a decade and seen all manner of crime.
Japan goes to great lengths to maintain this image. The reality is that most crime is Japanese on Japanese, and “foreigners” don’t get caught up in it very often. So you get tourist reports of “the time I lost my wallet” etc. and stories where people see what they were hoping to see (also known as confirmation bias).
Living among Japanese people and speaking only Japanese, I’ve witnessed and heard countless tales of muggings, rapes, fights, purse snatchings, pick-pockets, home break-ins, suicides, car break-ins, motorcycle theft, bicycle theft, pedophilia, animal cruelty. Shoplifting is common. There are large signs in. Sign: “Stop Shoplifting. No matter what the reason, stealing things is a crime.”
stores warning patrons not to do it. Dumping trash in the rivers and forests is common. There are signs everywhere prohibiting it. Molesting women on the train is common. Again, signs everywhere. Japan is just a normal country like anywhere else, that’s all.
5) Richard Smith, Independent Developer at Undisclosed Company (2010-present)
Answered Dec 19, 2017
I don’t understand this. I am not one to judge anyone, but culturally, the japanese culture is very dishonest and deceptive. In fact, they hugely value deception, specifically the ability to feign contentment and low emotional energy in a situation where they are anything but content.
They also value ‘talking behind someone's back’ as being a better solution to dealing with a problem.
6) John Goitia, Atheist, Colombian, Homosexual, Unapologetic.
Answered Sep 14, 2017
No they’re not.
I lived there because my dad worked as a diplomat there and we had a group of four Japanese men trying to break into our home, fortunately we caught them!
Japan hides this from foreigners portraying an image of order and civil behavior.
I am not saying Japan is dangerous, it’s not…. but mugging, stabbings, fights, rapes, occur more than people imagine.
There are a lot of crazy people, in Osaka I witnessed the near stabbing of a guy, the stabbing guy was a crazy dude in the train station with a knife. (Stuff like that happens)
With the economy getting sour, things are getting worse. Though not as bad as other places but Japan is FAR from what people believe.
根据我们了解到的信息，通常会认为，日本街道都很干净，日本人总是彬彬有礼。没错，从表面上看，确实是这样。可通过多年的亲身经历，你才能了解一个更加真实的日本。在美版知乎Quora上，美国网友提问道：日本人是真的有礼貌还是在虚伪作秀？这引起广大海外网友地热议，下面我们一起看看外国人笔下日本人矛盾、复杂的双重人格。
问题
美国网友比尔•费什的回答
I am an overseas student. What I feel deeply about the Japanese is their character. The longer I stay in Japan, the more I can feel how incisive the saying "there is little ceremony but no justice" is.
我是一名留学生，对日本人感触特别深的就是日本人的性格。在日本待的越久越能感受到“有小礼无大义”这句话是多么精辟。
The Japanese are good at hypocrisy and politeness on the surface. Many people come to Japan to travel and praise the waiters for their polite services, but they don't know that others may use the most vicious words to scold you, and you will turn around and be a fool. I once had a class and was divided into a group with a Japanese girl. There were many Chinese in this group. This person is very happy and polite with us in class. After class, I even said all kinds of bad things about us to other Japanese people. It seemed that we had done something heinous. It is an ordinary and meaningless lesson, as for? The key person did not look unhappy in person.
日本人擅长表面的虚伪和客套，很多人来日本旅游对服务员各种礼貌的服务赞不绝口，殊不知别人内心可能用最恶毒的话骂你，你一转身就是个白眼。曾经上一个课，跟一个日本女孩分到一组，本组中国人比较多。课堂上此人跟我们非常其乐融融非常礼貌。课后居然跟其他日本人各种说我们坏话，那个愤怒，好像我们做了什么十恶不赦的事。就是一个普通而且没什么意义的课，至于吗？关键人当面还看不出一丝不高兴的样子。
There are also Japanese people who desperately apologize for small things. Sometimes when you bump into a Japanese while walking, the other person may apologize loudly first. But the Japanese will never admit that they have made mistakes in major events. My classmate broke his leg when he was riding a bicycle by a Japanese driver. In the case of conclusive evidence, the other party simply refused to compensate or admit. Finally, I just said that the student's leg was broken because of osteoporosis? The key police also protect the Japanese. The complaint took more than half a year, but no compensation has yet been claimed.
还有日本人小事上拼命道歉，有时候你走路撞了日本人，对方可能先大声道歉。但是大事上犯了错日本人绝对不会承认的。我同学骑自行车被一日本人开车冒失撞断了腿，在一切证据确凿的情况下，对方硬是不赔偿，不承认。最后硬是说同学腿断是因为骨质疏松，二十出头的年轻人骨质疏松？ ？关键警察也是护着日本人。申述了大半年，还没要到赔偿。
For another example, my tutor was busy with her own affairs recently, regardless of the students. As a result, there was a Japanese senior who had not finished her thesis in time. More than a month before the oral defense, the tutor found that she had not finished her thesis. His first reaction was to discuss with another teacher and send the girl some information to remind her to write the paper, leaving evidence that she had guided her. It was her own reason that the paper was not finished. We also discussed how to record the conversation with the girl and leave evidence... Speechless, this is the japanese teacher. For something as simple as an undergraduate thesis, Chinese teachers usually help them to finish it in a week. They actually don't want to help but make up excuses.
又比如，我导师最近忙着自己的事不管学生，结果有个日本大四毕业生，论文没有及时完成，离答辩还有一个多月，导师发现她论文没写完。他的第一反应居然是，跟另一个老师商量，给那个女生发一些提醒她写论文的信息留证据，留下自己指导过她，论文没写完是她自己的原因的证据。还商量两个人怎么跟那个女生谈话录音，留证据。。。无语，这就是日本老师。本科生论文那么简单的东西，一般中国老师会帮着认真点一个星期就弄完了，他们居然不想着帮忙而是想着甩锅。
So I fully understand why the Japanese refused to admit their mistakes and shirked their responsibilities in the issues of comfort women, World War II and Fukushima nuclear power plant. Because this is their national character.
所以我完全理解日本人在慰安妇、二战、福岛核电站问题上为何死不认错、推卸责任。因为这就是他们的国民性格。
In addition, the bullying in Japan is different from the direct hitting and swearing in China. The Japanese want to bully a person, that is, everyone ignores you and finally leads to psychological collapse. Maybe this has a little bit to do with it.
此外，日本的欺凌，和我们国内的直接打人骂人不同，日本人要欺负一个人，就是大家都不理你、无视你，最终导致心理崩溃，也许会这个也有一点点的关系。
In addition, they are not without advantages. They are usually more comfortable in making friends with Japanese, because under the influence of the culture of observing words and expressions, the emotional intelligence of Japanese people is not too low.
另外，他们不是没有优点，和日本人交朋友，通常心理上会比较舒服，因为在察言观色文化的熏陶下，日本人普遍情商不会太低。
Most Japanese people are very polite to their non intimate friends (although many Japanese people donot have intimate friends). They generally respect you and praise others when they have nothing to do, such as "xx Jun You Yu!", Although most of them are hypocritical and polite, they are always comfortable.
日本人对于非知心朋友(虽然很多日本人没有知心朋友)，大多会非常客气，一般也会很尊重你，没事就夸人，比如「xx君優しい！」，虽然大多是虚伪的客套，但自己心里总是舒服的。
If you do something wrong, or if you stab the other person, the other person is unhappy. Japanese friends will basically pretend that nothing has happened. They will bear it in their own hearts, and some people will stumble secretly.
假设你有什么地方做错了，或者是刺到了对方是对方不愉快，日本朋友基本都会装作什么也没发生他们会自己心里忍着，也有部门人会暗地里下绊子。
Compared with Chinese friends, Chinese people or Chinese people in Japan are nothing more than retorts or brags.
对比中国朋友，中国人或是在日本的中国人，最多不过是反驳或抬杠。
Say more about the characteristics of Japanese:
再说说日本人的特性:
Most of them are timid and introverted: this is very obvious. When communicating with Japanese, you can see it by looking at their facial expressions.
大多胆小内敛:这个非常明显，和日本人交流的时候，看面部表情一看能看出。
Therefore, if you want to make friends with the Japanese, you should take the initiative. It is basically difficult for others to find you.
所以想和日本人交朋友推荐主动一点，等别人找你基本很难。
The Japanese are rich in heart and have many ideas.
日本人内心丰富，想法特别多。
The outside is cold and the inside is hot, and it is grumpy. After drinking, the Japanese male friends around began to talk dirty jokes. The more topics they talked about later, the more disgusting they became. They completely ignored the people at the tables around them. Later, as a boy, I couldn't stand it. Obviously, everyone was very serious before drinking. The most interesting thing is that when we met the next day, it was as if nothing had happened last night.
外冷内热，闷骚 ，喝酒之后周围的日本男性朋友就开始聊脏段子，越到后面聊的话题越恶心，完全无视周围几桌的人，到后来我作为一个男孩子都受不了了，明明喝酒之前个个都很正经的。最有趣的是第二天所有人见面都好像昨晚的事没发生一样，大家都不提。
Most Japanese people are gentle and will not easily dispute with you. If there is any possible dispute, most Japanese friends choose to carry the blame on themselves and will not blame you easily. However, once the Japanese psychological low line is passed, that is the end of friendship.
日常生活中，日本人大多比较温和，不会轻易和你发生纠纷，如果有什么可能纠纷的事，日本朋友大多选择自己背锅，不会轻易怪你，不过一旦过了日本人的心理低线，那就是友谊到此为止了。
In general, if you want to study in Japan, you are recommended to step on the Japanese circle with half your foot and the Chinese circle with half your foot, so as to maximize the benefits.
总体来说，如果来日本留学，推荐半只脚踩日本人圈子，半只脚踩国人圈子，这样利益最大化。
It will be more oppressive to mix with the Japanese, and the personality is easy to be led to deviation. If you want to return to China, it will be very unfavorable for you to communicate with the Japanese.
全部和日本人混一起会比较压抑，性格容易被带跑偏，如果要回国或者对和国人交往会很不利。
波兰网友丹尼尔•迈克劳瑞的回答
This is their tradition and standard. In this sense, yes, they must be polite, they must show it, otherwise they will lose "face" in front of others, which they really donot want, so in their society, in most cases, they are forced to do so.
这是他们的传统和标准。在这个意义上，是的，他们必须有礼貌，他们必须表现出来，否则他们会在别人面前失去“面子”，这是他们真正不想要的，所以在他们的社会中，在大多数情况下，他们都被迫这样做。
Many foreigners are blinded by their political nature, believing that they are always so cute and polite, and they may have gold hearts. Well, it's not entirely true. Yes, the stereotype is always bad. I know there are good and bad people everywhere, but in Japan, this is a standard, which means that even if they don't think so, they will still behave politely, or they will greet and send off in a polite way.
许多外国人被他们的政治性蒙蔽了双眼，认为他们总是那么可爱和有礼貌，他们可能有金子般的心。嗯，这不完全是真的。是的，刻板印象总是不好的，我知道到处都有好人和坏人，但在日本，这是一种标准，这意味着即使他们不这么觉得，他们仍然会表现得彬彬有礼，或者他们会以礼貌的方式迎来送往。
They have a culture of not showing off their true selves and emotions. They have a hard shell that almost no one can break. Perhaps they are the closest friends or wives/husbands who can break up, but they will not even open their hearts to ordinary friends like the West.
他们有不炫耀真实自我和真实情感的文化。他们有一个坚硬的外壳，几乎没有人可以打破，也许是他们亲密的朋友或妻子/丈夫可以分手的最亲密的人，但他们甚至不会向不像西方那样的普通朋友敞开心扉。
I have never been to Japan, but I tried to communicate with them online. I encountered this hypocritical courtesy. I came from a small country, and I realized that the Japanese view foreigners as follows: the West=the United States, Canada, Australia, Britain, and they have a very narrow view of the world around them.
我从未去过日本，但我试着在网上与他们交流，我遇到了这种虚伪的客套，我来自一个小国，我也意识到日本人对外国人的看法是：西方=美国、加拿大、澳大利亚、英国，他们对周围的世界有着非常狭隘的看法。
So, I am a Westerner, but I come from an unpopular country. They have never been interested in talking to me. They only gave me a reply. They all said at the end, "I hope we can talk more" or "look forward to your information", but they never actively talked with me. When I even asked about this, two Japanese people used the same stupid excuse to explain why they did not reply to my news before... So, yes, they are very hypocritical, not as beautiful as we saw at first sight, because no one can see them, in this case, they will not lose "face", because no one can see their online way.
所以，我是西方人，但来自一个不受欢迎的国家，他们从来没有兴趣和我交谈。他们只给我一个回复，他们都在最后说，“我希望我们能多谈谈”或“期待你的消息”，但他们从来没有主动热络地和我聊过。我甚至问起这件事时，两个日本人用了同样愚蠢的借口，来解释为什么他们之前没有回复我的消息……所以，是的，他们非常虚伪，不像我们第一眼看到的那样漂亮，因为没人能看到他们，在这种情况下，他们不会失去“面子”，因为没有人能够看到他们的在线方式。
As a person who likes a lot of things in Japan, I am shocked, but I have to realize that they have many dark society problems that I refused to believe before, because I am a Japanese fan. Now I am more realistic about them. They are far from perfect. If you observe them deeply, their society has serious problems.
作为一个喜欢日本很多东西的人，这让我感到震惊，但我不得不意识到，他们有很多我之前拒绝相信的黑暗社会问题，因为我是日本的粉丝。现在我对他们更加现实了，他们也远非完美，如果你深入观察他们，他们的社会有严重的问题。
海外网友罗恩的回答
I want to answer this question in order to arouse all the terrible Japanese I have seen. They really have different faces under their masks. Japan has some ugly aspects that people seldom talk about.
我想回答这个问题，以唤起我见过的所有可怕的日本人，他们的面具下确实有着截然不同的面孔。日本有一些丑陋的一面，人们很少谈论。
At the same time, I don't want to treat people in the whole country equally just because of these types of people. I also don't want people to think that every polite person is fake, because some people are real. I want to say simply that it is not as black and white as politeness and hypocrisy.
同时，我不想仅仅因为这些类型的人，就把整个国家的人都一视同仁。我也不想让人觉得每个有礼貌的人都是假的，因为有些人是真的。我想简单地说，它不像礼貌和虚伪那样黑白分明。
I don't think all forms of false courtesy are bad.
我不认为所有形式的假礼貌都是坏的。
Who doesn't pretend to be polite in order to be professional or mature? We will all do this. If you haven't done this, you will find that you have to do this one day. You will encounter a very terrible customer, colleague, manager, employer and neighbor. They will make you have to do something. In addition to being polite, you will also stand up involuntarily and act in a civilized manner at that moment, otherwise you will face uncontrollable consequences. Politeness has a certain degree of self-discipline. It will generally make you get a better result, such as a big order, promotion and salary increase, or even a smile.
谁没有为了专业或成熟而假装礼貌？我们都会这样做，如果你还没有做到，你总有一天会发现自己到了这个位置上必须如此。你会遇到一个非常可怕的客户、同事、经理、雇主、邻居，他们会让你不得不做出一些事情，除了礼貌之外，但这种情况下你也会不自主地站起来，在那一刻以文明的方式行事，否则会面临无法控制的后果。礼貌有一定的自律性，他一般会让你得到一个更好的结果，比如一笔大单，升职加薪，乃至是一个微笑。
Customer service is a more specific example of why false politeness alsoneeds to exist. The service needs to reach a consistent standard of politeness. No matter how they feel, they will implement it. If not, then tired people will begin to show fatigue, and depressed people will show depression. Some things are better hidden under the mask. Many Japanese have no place to vent due to social pressure, but they have to focus on what needs to be done at the moment, giving priority to personal needs and social expectations. (But this does not mean that everyone in customer service is hypocritical. I think most people will try to be sincere, but if they encounter pressure, unpredictable behavior will occur).
客户服务是一个更具体的例子，说明了为什么虚假礼貌也需要存在。服务需要达到一致的礼貌标准，无论他们个人感觉如何，他们都会执行。如果没有，那么疲惫的人会开始表现出疲惫，沮丧的人会表现出沮丧。有些事情最好隐藏在面具之下，很多日本人由于社会压力无处发泄，可他们不得不专注于当下需要做的事情，优先考虑个人需求和社会期望。（但这并不意味着客户服务中的每个人都是虚伪的。我认为，大多数人都会努力做到真诚，但如果他们遇到压力，不可预料的行为就会发生）。
Another note is that in the United States, from the perspective of people in other countries, friendly manners may be false, because in other countries, society does not expect people to always be happy and talkative. Ignorance of cultural differences may make you feel that one way is "more fake" than another.
另一个注意事项是：在美国，从其他国家的人的角度来看，友好的礼貌可能是假的，因为在其他国家，社会并不期望人们总是愉快和健谈。对文化差异的无知可能会让你觉得一种方式比另一种方式“更假”。
In the United States, even though most people donot always really want to hear the answers of others, and these answers deviate from the default "I am very good" or "very good", people will ask others how they are doing. Therefore, even in the United States, there are some polite manners that are not always sincere.
在美国，即使大多数人并不总是真心想听到别人的回答，而这些回答偏离了默认的“我很好”或“很好”，人们也会问别人他们做得怎么样。因此，即使在美国，也有一些礼貌的礼仪并不总是真诚的。
I believe that when false courtesy is combined with narcissism, lack of empathy, manipulation, selfishness and/or racism, it becomes toxic.
我认为，当假礼貌与自恋、缺乏同理心、操纵、自私和/或种族主义情绪相结合时，它就会变得有毒。
Most of the everyday false manners are white lies. But this does not negate the fact that true politeness also exists.
大多数日常的假礼貌都是善意的谎言。但这并不能否定真正的礼貌也存在的事实。
In short, everyone in any country has the ability to pretend to be polite. This is not unique to the Japanese. Due to cultural differences, the Japanese just have different methods, but they are everywhere.
总之，任何国家的每个人都有能力假装礼貌。这不是日本人独有的。由于文化的差异，日本人只是有不同的方法，但它无处不在。